As parents, were you stricter on your oldest child than you were your youngest child or were
you stricter on your youngest child than you were on your oldest child?
The first two children were experimented on. They were held up to higher standards and were disciplined strictly. They also receive a few spankings (sorry to say), but one is a doctor and the other is a commander in the Air Force, so perhaps that was the right way for them.
The younger two were given lots of leeway and not disciplined, as we were getting older and tired, but have both become outstanding citizens and are very loving people.
I believe, what you give out, is what you get back, so if you are very hard on your children, they will most likely be the same with their children and others. I see reflections of myself and my husband in all of them. Of course, all children are different, so what works for one might not work for the other.
I don't think I was stricter on my first child. My second demanded more strictness than the first so I didn't have a choice.
There is no doubt in my mind that I was strictest on the oldest of my now three grown-up children. I put this down to one thing: being a 'learner parent.' The second got it easier, and the third easier again.
The point is, we aren't trained to be parents. We pick up on how we feel we should behave from our parents. We carry forward a lot of their faults and shortcomings emulating the they brought us up. I expect it will be that way for a long, long time. And our parents, of course, picked up their ideas of how to behave as a parent from their mother and father.
Maybe one day there will actually be some education delivered to all upcoming parents. For example, compulsory lessons for both and impending mother and father when the woman learns she is pregnant. We know, of course, that some men and women do take to making the effort to learn what will be expected of them once they become parents. However, these are in the minority - a very small minority. In the meantime, most of us will simply blunder on.
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