If your job is causing chaos to the family but you make lots of money, should yo

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   Janice Danielposted 8 years ago

   If your job is causing chaos to the family but you make lots of money, should you quit?

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2. 85

   Billie Kelpinposted 8 years ago

   a very difficult question.  We're facing the same issue, but we're older.  My husband just took another software coding position after retiring because we have fallen behind. Our whole lifestyle has now shifted to the 8-5 routine, but I have to adjust and become a team player, I guess. 
   Maybe yours is not an "either-or" situation.  However, "chaos" is a very strong word.  It might be time for a counselor.  I quit a job because I thought it would help my marriage 30 years ago.  My husband left shortly afterwards and I had to start all over again.  What I WISH I had done was confront the stress at work that was making me come home miserable.  It actually was one co-worker that made things almost unbearable which I'm sure affected my attitude at home.  Your employer might be more open to adjusting your schedule than you think.  If you consider your moves right now as if you're playing a strategy game on a chess board, it might help.  If the family knows there would be an end to this - a deadline, that might make your family more of a team and less chaotic.   Rewarding everyone with the hope of a trip soon, even if it has to be a small one,  could help get the family to see this as a group effort.   Some of the sentences I wrote for husbands in an app I created were:  "We'll tackle this together."  "I'm here to help."  "We're a great team."Just some thoughts from someone who really hasn't made all the best choices in life.  Again, maybe this is time for professional advice. This is a fork in the road, it seems. All good wishes to you, Janice.

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   Nicholas Kanposted 8 years ago

   You should quit if problem persists. Happiness is what you would enjoy in your life but money can only buy you distractions to make you think you're happy (but you're really not). If anything happens, family and happiness comes first.

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4. 80

   dashingscorpioposted 8 years ago

   
   
   I suspect it's not the "job" causing chaos but rather the person working the job and how (they) handle it. In some instances family members aren't going to be your best "cheerleaders" in life. They're looking out for themselves even if it means holding you back from your potential. Life is a (personal) journey!
   If your family loves (you) they should encourage you rather than discourage you from fulfilling your dreams. Sometimes it's just a matter of letting them know how important your career is to you while at the same time setting their expectations of how you plan to celebrate with them.
   If you're dealing with children this may be one of those "teachable moments" where they learn you don't always get what (you) want.
   You have to work hard to get ahead and have nice things in life.
   Lowering your family's living standards is probably not in their best interest. Some friends of mine in Southern California sold a their townhome and moved into an apartment in an area for their child to attend a particular school. They were never able to get back into the home owner market but their son now has a degree from USC and then he moved several hundred miles away.
   They have been living in apartments for almost 20 years. With the high cost of real estate in Calif. they'd have a built in nest egg if they had chose to stay their original upscale neighborhood.
   It's never a good idea for a mature person to appease the immature. Nevertheless it's important to be honest with yourself.
   If (you) dislike your job and want to quit then do so.
   Ironically the older children become the less time they want to spend with their parents anyway. Make the most of weekends, holidays, and vacations.
   Everything will be fine in the end as they beam with pride over your accomplishments and how well you provided for them.

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   savvydatingposted 8 years ago

   It depends upon the job. If you are working late nights and never see your family, that is not a good thing but it can be "worked out." For example, police and emergency personnel do often work odd hours. On the other hand, a woman who is working in a strip club would be better off finding another job---for sure. So....it depends upon what aspect of the job is causing the chaos....

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