How do you completely stop a nosey neighbor from gawking and causing trouble? I

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  1. alphagirl profile image78
    alphagirlposted 11 years ago

    How do you completely stop a nosey neighbor from gawking and causing trouble? I need tips.

    I have this neighbor who is 50 years old. She is always, always, looking to see what I am doing in my back yard. It drives me batty. I cant even have a simple conversation with anyone. She stands in her yard pretending to do things and listens. She is nothing but trouble. I installed 4 trellis panels for privacy and she called to complain we put a fence up. To make matters worse, I just discovered her husband is a convicted, non violent felon. This neighbor likes to mooch off others. How have you stopped a nosey, meddlesome neighbor?

  2. MickS profile image61
    MickSposted 11 years ago

    You must have been watching her to believe she was watching you.  Who was watching whom?

    1. alphagirl profile image78
      alphagirlposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      When your neighbor starts telling you what you doing when you are doing and wants to know who is coming over for dinner and then asks your kids personal questions in my view they are too nosey! I don't want to get to k ow her anymore than I need to!

  3. teaches12345 profile image79
    teaches12345posted 11 years ago

    I have a neighbor who is very watchful of all those who live around her, including us.  We do find her a little bit nosy at times, but then she has spotted some potential threats for us as well.  I am guessing that this neighbor of yours is lonely and feels unwanted at her home.  Sorry you have to deal with her, maybe try to give her some attention and see what happens... just a little though.

    1. alphagirl profile image78
      alphagirlposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Initially when we first moved in I did and was friendly, but then her friendliness started to intrude on my family!
      She has also alienated other neighbors because she is so nosey! I think there is a fine! I also have nothing in common. Thanks.

    2. teaches12345 profile image79
      teaches12345posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Alphagirl, you have done your part for sure!  I suggest building a brick wall about 10 feet high. smile

  4. Mazzy Bolero profile image68
    Mazzy Boleroposted 11 years ago

    We had a neighbor like this when I was a kid. She lived across the street and used to peek out from behind the curtains.  One day my mother saw her doing this and stuck her tongue out at her. That stopped it for a while, but I thought it was cruel, because the woman was obviously very lonely. 

    Your neighbor is leading an empty life. She wants to be part of your life because she can see all the things she lacks and craves for - life, fun, affection, a happy family.  She seems to have no job and probably no real interests and purpose to fill her day.

    I would suggest that when she asks you about your family and what you have been doing, ask her the same thing, since the curiosity at the moment is going only in one direction.  I realize you don't actually care what she's doing, but you might learn something that helps, as well as making her realize she's just not doing anything herself.

    If you do this every time, she will hopefully realize that your conversations have to be two-way exchanges. Possibly she will 1) take some action to do something that she could talk about, making her less dependent on spying on you or 2) stop bothering you to avoid the embarrassment of having to admit that she has nothing in her life worth mentioning.

    You could suggest things. If you see jobs advertised that she might get, pretend you are thinking about getting a part-time job and mention that this company is hiring.  Or mention voluntary work. 

    If you know activities that might suit her, talk to her about them, or speak in confidence to someone running them so that they could  ask her to join.

    If all else fails,  be absolutely open with her and tell her that you like her (OK, but it's a white lie) but at the same time you need your privacy. 

    You could claim to have a migraine every time she speaks to you, or be in a great hurry and have no time to speak, say you are expecting a phone call; you have something burning on the stove, etc. She should eventually get the message that you don't want to talk. But she will probably realize this is a snub.

    Solving this will take some doing, so I wish you success and a lot of luck.

    1. alphagirl profile image78
      alphagirlposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I like your suggestions ! She has a job and husband. She has hobbies! I just do not want her to be a part of our lives! With two kids and work of my own I do not have time to entertain my neighbor!

    2. alphagirl profile image78
      alphagirlposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      we have 8 ft wide by 7 foot high trellis panels with vine growing to block their views. A perfect solution that is civil. Best part, I get to see flowers bloom off it.

  5. Sue St. Clair profile image68
    Sue St. Clairposted 11 years ago

    Some tips for dealing with the challenges of nosy neighbors and the hassles they bring into your life. read more

  6. Kevin Peter profile image59
    Kevin Peterposted 11 years ago

    It’s better not to give much attention to that side. If we stop reacting to what ever they do, they will feel bored and stop every thing by themselves

  7. lupine profile image67
    lupineposted 11 years ago

    If you have a nosey or noisy neighbor, and want it to stop. Try "Feng Shui" it's the art of placement of objects, shapes, colors, etc., that affect you and your surroundings. You will need a "bagua" mirror, place it outside of your home, on the wall facing your neighbor's home, it can be hung or glued.Hang it with good intentions that you get your peace and bad thoughts or bad intentions toward the neighbor. This will deflect any negative energy. therefore giving you more peace in your home. You may have a local store that sells feng shui products or go online to purchase. Look it up onlne or in books if you need to know more about it...but put the mirror up asap! You may be surprised.

    1. alphagirl profile image78
      alphagirlposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I have a baqgua mirror facing them. It isn't strong enough.

  8. profile image0
    Marntzuposted 10 years ago

    Lets see... Plant something thick on that side of the yard that will block her view of your house (grapes, raspberries, blackberries, magnolias, roses etc) preferably something nasty to try to push out of the way (that's where raspberries or roses work wonders they are natures barbed wire). For blocking her from listening in you could put a water feature on that side of the yard (loud but not so loud it bothers you) if done right it will generate enough "white noise" to prevent her from hearing anything said on the other side of the water feature. Also a large Dog can be pretty discouraging for eaves dropping.

    1. alphagirl profile image78
      alphagirlposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      fpherj48 , thanks for stopping by. It is beyond nosy. She was scoping my kids and asking too many questions about our incomes. It is none of their business. I found it bizarre that she went to my kids. She crossed the line.

  9. fpherj48 profile image60
    fpherj48posted 10 years ago

    The "Nosy neighbor."  Oh, what a pain.  I feel for you, alphagirl, believe me.  One rarely knows how to handle this delicate situation.  It's not wise to seriously upset someone who lives so close to your own home, especially since they clearly seem to have too much "interest" in you and your life & plenty of idle time.
    Your trellis was an excellent "silent" hint and I'm sure the flowers are a nice addition, but it sounds like your "Gladys Kravitz" didn't take the hint. 
    I tend to agree with some of the comments here that suggest this woman is lonely and/or fairly friendless.  While this is sad, it is not for you to assume any responsibility. 
    My advice stems from what I KNOW, I would do in this case.   To let her know I am "aware" of her presence, I would smile & wave, w/o any verbal exchange...and just keep walking &/or focused on what I am doing.  I would ask my family & friends to speak in lower she cannot hear all of your conversations.  You CAN avoid her and basically ignore her, w/o being blatantly rude.  Should she ask "nosy" questions, use very vague, one-word responses, & do not contribute more to the conversation.  She will begin to back off, when she realizes there's not much of "interest" for her to learn!
    It's a shame you have to deal with this, but in the "neighbor dept," people have dealt with MUCH worse.   Count your blessings and remain vigilante!  Good luck.

  10. Oztinato profile image74
    Oztinatoposted 9 years ago

    You need to log everything in detail with the local police. Eventually you have to take out litigation either through the police or privately. Without the detailed log you can't win.
    Neighbors like that know they are a huge problem and they love it.

  11. vignesh118 profile image60
    vignesh118posted 9 years ago

    Kinda reminds me of marie from the television sitcom "everybody loves raymond" If thats the case, then just be out with it. dont beat around the bush.

  12. peachpurple profile image82
    peachpurpleposted 9 years ago

    wow, your neighbor sure is a busy body. Maybe she is lonely. Try talking to her and maybe she will stop

  13. Pam Ryan profile image60
    Pam Ryanposted 9 years ago

    Nail her head to a barn door. This will shut her up in no time.

  14. profile image50
    Sandy Priceposted 8 years ago

    Here is an idea for backyard privacy. … ide-shades


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