How to handle racisum towards my child?
My little ones bilogical father is black while I am not. His father is not in the picture, so when I go out in public I am asked what nationality is my son. And the question always comes up "is he black?"
I can't believe that we still live in a world of racisum. I find it rude and hurtful when I am asked these questions. But when my sons adopted father is not with us (he is white) not one person questions me.
Does it really matter to these strangers what nationality my son is? Are they going to loose sleep over this? How can I handle this without freaking out at the person?
Maybe they are just curious. Asking if one is black is not being racist. I think you're overreacting.
Say "nah, he's purple."
I'm not sure if it's racist if the person is just asking if he's black, but it is rather forward and a weird thing to just randomly bring up with a stranger.
don't take it too hard. Because people judge by the color of the skin.
It happens to me too.
People were asking whether I am a filipino , vietnamese or thailand lady because of the skin color.
Actually, I am a Chinese, Malaysian.
If I were too anger by the word racism, I would had jumped over the river
As someone else said, it may not necessarily be racist; but I think if I were in that situation I'd reply to such a question with something like, "Is there some reason you're asking that question?" Chances are the person might "blah blah" something like, "Oh, he's so cute I was just wondering..." (or some version of that kind of thing) (and maybe it really is a case of someone's just thinking he's particularly good looking, but it's inappropriate...).
Anyway, I'd either then not answer the question or else say, "Thanks" - and not answer the question.
If he's too young to know the thing about his biological father he's probably also too young (I'd think) to think much about a question that a) you don't answer and/or b) someone adds to their question that he's so beautiful they were wondering what his nationality is. I'd think, too, that people may be more inclined to ask that kind of thing (or say any kind of thing about a child, for that matter) in the presence of the child when the child is very little. Sometimes it's just because they find the child appealing and just think they're making some chit-chat. They're often either people who just like children. Sometimes, too, if someone finds your child/children appealing for some reason (well behaved, cute, whatever....) they're more likely to feel a little more chit-chatty (friendly) toward the parent too.
Either way, I wouldn't necessarily assume it's racism (or even rudeness or ignorance), but I wouldn't answer a question like that either. I wouldn't be rude to the person, but there are ways to not answer a question without being too out-and-out rude.
I've got three grown kids. They're all over thirty. In the course of all those years it can be kind of amazing what kind of not-their-business questions/comments people come up with and don't think are a problem.
People aren't always good at truly putting themselves in someone else's place (especially if they're not a mother, themselves). If you don't answer them chances are they won't ask you that, or maybe anything else that's personal, again. You're right. Your child should come before anyone or anything else in this world. If you do have to seem a little "borderline rude" so be it. Teaching him to be someone who automatically assumes the worst of (often innocent) others (like racism) isn't a good thing either.
He must be awfully young if he doesn't know about the bio father. Maybe he doesn't even understand such questions.
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