Why is it that people insist on taking over someone else's question, or hub, for

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   jlparkposted 12 years ago

   Why is it that people insist on taking over someone else's question, or hub, for their own soapbox?
   
   Lately I've noticed several questions, and even the occasional hub, where several people answer the question, and one person (not the author either) take over and tell people they are wrong and why, and continue to do this on each answer, and if people defend themselves or the person who answered, they continue to 'preach' (if you will).
   
   To me it seems like it's a "I'm RIGHT and you're wrong, and if you don't listen, I'll tell Daddy." hissy-fit.  Any other thoughts?

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   Gina145posted 12 years ago

   I can't provide an answer to your question, but I've noticed this and was actually tempted to delete one of my questions because this happened. In the end I left it alone and now I just read any discussion that comes up but don't respond any more.
   If I can earn Adsense money out of other people's arguments, I'll take it, but I don't feel like it's my question any more.

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   Laura Schneiderposted 12 years ago

   Maybe it's selfishness, ignorance, or lack of people skills. (I only hope I haven't done this.) Sometimes I imagine it would happen naturally, though, the way a conversation just changes directions and suddenly you're on a different topic altogether.
   
   If I'm guilty, I definitely meant no offense, fellow Hubbers! (I know I've got a big mouth at inappropriate times sometimes. Working on it...)

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   Wesman Todd Shawposted 12 years ago

   Well it has to do with having a bit too much ego - but what you are really seeing in such cases is someone afraid of being wrong, someone who feels threatened by another's view.

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      Laura Schneiderposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Why would they bother commenting, in those cases, thereby taking the chance of being "wrong" or "threatened"?

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      SidKempposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Laura - perhaps don't assume self-awareness. They do not know they are afraid. They only know they have to be right. It's a defensive mechanism, a verbal form of bullying.

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      Laura Schneiderposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Ah! I'm sure you're right. That makes a lot of sense.

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      jlparkposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      True true. Thanks for your answer Wesman

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   LongTimeMotherposted 12 years ago

   I guess some people just can't help themselves.
   I lose interest and move away when that happens.

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      jlparkposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      AS do I on occasion...or when my BP advises me it's time to wander away! Thanks for your answer

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   LaWandaDeniseposted 12 years ago

   I think it is great when someone else adds a new and interesting perspective on the way different situations are comprehended and perceived. Isn't that what literature all about?  The sharing of information and ideas in an effort to create a deeper understanding of the world, people, and situations around us.  It's all about producing a higher quality of life, humaniity, and environment.

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      Laura Schneiderposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I agree--it seems like there are the positive diversions and the negative diversions on a subject. I like the positive diversions and new perspectives, too.

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      LongTimeMotherposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I also agree. However if that fresh perspective is not picked up by others, it would be rude to keep pushing it. I tend to think it is better to start a new hub or question.
      I enjoy fresh input from others into my hubs.

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      jlparkposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I also agree.  I disagree with someone coming in and taking it over though, being aggressive towards other commentors who disagree with them..  That was what sparked the question

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      LongTimeMotherposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, jlpark. It was a good question. I wonder how many people will see it and make a conscious decision to change their ways. :They may never have noticed how they 'take over' before.
      I think you've done HP a service by raising the issue.

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   JThomp42posted 12 years ago

   I have noticed this, and it seems that it is their ego that drives them. They just have to be heard and make sure everyone knows there is only one right answer, "Their's."

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      Laura Schneiderposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I agree, but it seems to me that that should be a dominant trait in our species, shouldn't it? Shouldn't people think for themselves and believe in what they say, considering other (even contrary) evidence along the way?

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      SidKempposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      The "ego" arises when we operate from the survival function of the primitive reptilian brain. It cuts off rational and creative functions. Only a world with less fear, created  people willing to be loving and courageous, will change this.

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      JThomp42posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Sid... Do you think that is possible?

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      jlparkposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks JThomp for your answer

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   vrdmposted 12 years ago

   Isn't this human nature?  Even when we were sitting in the mouths of caves around open fires, weren't there always individuals inclined, presumably for socio-evolutionary reasons, to dominate the conversation?

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      LongTimeMotherposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      You're right, vrdm. But this forum is predominantly for writers. Shouldn't writers be able to choose their words carefully enough to make their point clearly the first time ... with no need to repeat themselves in someone else's hub or question?

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      bn9900posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      LTM-That is a good thought, but when you clearly state your position and someone else attacks your character, what do you expect?

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      LongTimeMotherposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Hi bn9900. I was responding to vrdm's concept of people trying to dominate a conversation by continuously repeating themselves. If they've made their point and have nothing new to add, I think they should sit back and give readers room to think.

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      jlparkposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Interesting way to look at things - thanks for this.  I see a lot of truth in what you say

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   johnwindbellposted 12 years ago

   I love the ones that write a hub about the same subject you did. There will always be dip-shits, get on with your work and just change how you respond to them.

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      Laura Schneiderposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I never thought to look to see if someone else had written on the same topic I wanted to write about before. Is there a rule against that on HP, or something wrong with it? "They" say there's nothing new under the sun. Therefore, it seems inevitable.

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      SidKempposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I read hubs on the same topic as my own. If they are good, I link to them, & ask for a link back. I almost always get it. Example: I wrote on how to get certified as a Project Management Professional. An engineer from India did the same & we

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      jlparkposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Not quite what I meant - more that they get into a question, comment on EVERYONE and then can't let it be, MUST be right.  But I agree - just get on with things

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    SidKempposted 12 years ago

    I see that many answers have *categorized* people who do this as selfishness, egotism, and even them being dipshits (now that's a word that I haven't heard in a long while!). But no one has been able to answer the question "why?"
    
    There's good reason for that. The people who are doing it probably don't know that they are doing it, and almost certainly don't know why. (Egotistical people are rarely self-aware in that way.) The reason is inside them, and if they don't know, nobody knows.
    
    Have you thought of sending a private email to one saying, "I noticed you took over this hub for your own soapbox. Why did you do it?" If you do ask one, please post the answer - I'd be interested.
    
    I see two elements of this event that might be relevant. First of all, sometimes the Q&A or even the hub comments move off on a tangent that includes two or more people, and brings up really interesting stuff. The structure of Q&A and of hub comments allows this - and that's really cool. Unfortunately, allowing expanded discussions also allows takeovers. So we have to live with the bad to get the good.
    
    Second, some people are running scared and feel a need to be noticed. They may feel a pressure to try anything to get attention (either for emotional reasons, or out of a hope that they will get more page views and more money). In these tight times, such fear reactions are inevitable.
    
    I, for one, haven't seen much of what you are talking about. Feel free to reply with the name of a hub that got hit with a takeover. If it happened on my hub, I would probably not allow the writer's replies to appear as comments.

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       Billie Kelpinposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Sid, I agree with you re: the deeper causes of this, if it exists.  As an egotistical person, I don't see it. (Ha!)  But to clarify - as a narcissistic, egotistical, selfish person, I'm VERY self-aware.  (So I disagree with your statement abt us:)

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       SidKempposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Billie - you are a rara avis - the exception that proves the rule!

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       Windtravellerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Actually it's probably not so much self-awareness that is lacking in such people, but rather the awareness of the other people in the space. Being VERY self-aware leaves little room for others it seems.

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       Billie Kelpinposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Sid and Wind, I do like rara avis - it's kind   This is what I love about being this age.  I'm too old to change and old enough not to care. My daughter says that sometimes our Achilles Heel  can be our super strength. I'm going with that!

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    pagesvoiceposted 12 years ago

    The person who attempts to take over a hub or a question is similar to the guy I ran into in the grocery store today. They have no conception of personal space. You can feel them almost walking on your heels and you can literally feel their hot breath, as they reach over or around you. In other words, these people are just rude and self centered.
    
    I find political and opinion hubs and questions attract those you have mentioned. After listening, reading or watching the constant drumbeat of pundits, without exploring other points of view, some find they have almost been drawn into a cult of thinking and believing only one way. So, their goal is to convert the nonbelievers. Sometimes I answer them...sometimes I don't...and then there are those rare occasions I simply delete them.

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       Laura Schneiderposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Deleting them sounds best in such cases, I agree. Converting people's thoughts who are set in their ways rarely happens. People were never taught to think for themselves, political extremists are like sheep following their assigned herd, unthinking.

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       pagesvoiceposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Laura, I say it all the time...the sheep go baa, baa, baa all they way to the slaughterhouse of narrow minded and rigid thinking.

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       Laura Schneiderposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       pagesvoice--I laughed a long time at your comment; I couldn't agree more!

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    LilaDaleyposted 12 years ago

    My dad is that way as is my mom.  They have an opinion and no one else can have a differing one.  They cannot believe that anyone else can believe a different way and must fight til you believe the same way you do.  It drives me nuts.  If I have a different view from you I tell you mine and leave it at that.  It is not a big deal if people believe differently than me.  We all have grown up and experienced different things to shape our opinions.  That is what makes a society.

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       jlparkposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Thank you for your answer.  Interesting that you can have what one would probably term a 'more grown-up' way of viewing the world, than your parents.

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    krillcoposted 12 years ago

    Maybe a mix between basic rudeness and the lost art of conversation. Many people seem to make a hobby about taking entrenched positions and feel the need to attack anyone who does not agree with them. There are, I think, people who are addicted to reactivity; they just cannot stop.

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    d.williamposted 12 years ago

    When people ask silly or inappropriate questions and only want to hear responses that agree with their point of view, they must expect to be challenged by other readers with different points of view.  This has nothing to do with ego, fear, or any other negative connotations.  I was told point blank by one hubber who asks many silly questions that they only want to hear from those who are fellow "believers" - if that isn't egotistical i don't know what is. Or perhaps the questioner is fearful that his/her point of view might be in question as being the only true opinion.  So when someone dares to offer a different perspective they are attacked as egotistical, or 'afraid of hearing the truth', or perhaps they (the one asking the question) are afraid that they just might be wrong themselves.
    so, if anyone asks a question, expect to be challenged when those questions are narrow minded, biased, hate filled, or pointless.

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       jlparkposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Very true - take the risk to ask the question, deal with the answers

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    Brett Winnposted 12 years ago

    It couldn't be a lack of common human decency, or manners, could it?

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    bn9900posted 12 years ago

    I don't think they mean to, There was A Hub recently where I voiced my opinion and this other hubber laid into me and it was a back and forth, we both had strong opinions.  I felt bad, but I couldn't let go, this hubber was literally attacking my character. We both quit after a few days and really it was only like 5 posts each but it was a back and forth.  It really depends on the subject really.

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       jlparkposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       True true, and I seem to rfrequent the same ones they do! Thanks for your answer

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    Billie Kelpinposted 12 years ago

    I don't think people do things like that intentionally.  It just all comes from our needs deep within to express ourselves, to have some meaning in this world.  (And there I go confirming your premise with what sounds like preaching (ugh) - sorry

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       jlparkposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Not what I meant re: preaching - you're all good!.  I know what you mean though - they can't seem to help themselves.  Thanks for your answer Billie

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    ib radmastersposted 12 years ago

    It seems to me that is why the author posted the question, to get feedback.
    If the author knew the answer, the it is pointless to ask it.

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       jlparkposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Not sure what you mean by this. I'm enjoying the answers - they give good insight into these people.
       If you meant I knew the answer - nope, it's why I asked.
       If you meant why any asks - that's true, but it's rude to take over a question still

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       ib radmastersposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       I was talking in general, and not you specifically.
       It seems like it should be up to the author to call time out.

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       jlparkposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Makes sense now! Sorry.

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    Seeker7posted 12 years ago

    I think there are people whose egos are so big that firstly they get a kick out of shouting to the world about how dum we all are! Secondly, I agree with you, they think they know it all, when in fact, most people like this haven't enough insight or real intelligence to see they are usually wrong. They also come across as needing to be the center of attention, so hogging a hub or answer, is there way of ensuring that people take notice of them! I don't think it matters that they p------- other folks off. The important thing for them is to get across just how wrong the rest of us dummies are and how right they are in what they say. It's sad really, because in reality they're actually just silly wee people with no manners and usually not much real intelligence.

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    Mike Marksposted 12 years ago

    a person's reality can be like a house of cards... if a piece of information doesn't fit into its logic circle, so that every point on the circle says "therefore this next point be true" until the final point says "therefore the first assumption that started this circle be true"... then the house of cards may crumble and the person may fear having no anchor to reality... the more copies of his belief system he makes in other people's heads, with convincing argument  info presentation, the more grounded he may feel at least, the more immortal he may feel at most...

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       jlparkposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Thinking about the people I'm thinking of - this answer makes the most sense.

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