Do you ever feel you're the only one going to the stepparent circus?

  1. KM Scullion profile image59
    KM Scullionposted 8 months ago

    As a step-parent, do you ever feel like enough is enough? Why can't your husband and his ex just get a long? If nothing else for the benefit of the children? Ok, so maybe not be best friends by any means, but literally be able to just stand next to each other at this weeks baseball game. Why after years is there so much hostility? I mean come on, you had to have loved each other at some point to have 3 kids together. It's the he did, she did excuse. Well it's time to put your big kid pants on and get over it. At one point in your relationship you clearly thought the other parent was a good one in order to have not one kid but multiple? Why do kids start to be thought of as possessions instead of little people with big emotions? I have so many questions, and I've been at this for nearly four years.

    1. IslandBites profile image86
      IslandBitesposted 8 months agoin reply to this

      Oftentimes, people say that a stepparent should have no business in the relation his/her partner and ex have and their children. Not true. As a stepparent, you're part of those kids lives. If you think their relation is not healthy, especially for the kids, you must act. Maybe you can't do anything about the ex, but you can help your partner. Make him/her work his/her issues. If there's really a toxic environment, give him/her an ultimatum.

      If you want to go further, maybe get close to the ex, offer to listen to his/her issues as a way to help them figure out their relation.

      I know is not the same, but I did something similar with my now husband (and his father) when we were dating. They had no relationship because my husband was hurt and angry (child issues/abandonment). I gave him an ultimatum. He had to work that relation if he wanted ours to grow and last. I asked him to go talk to his dad, even if it was to recriminate him. He did. They talked. Long story short, they now have a healthy relation. He's happy he did it. They both thanked me for forcing them to talk.

  2. Live to Learn profile image82
    Live to Learnposted 8 months ago

    I hated it and it never ended. The ex wife did everything she could to cause trouble with his relationship with his child. It's over.  The child is finally grown. He (the child) may never work through all of the issues created by her emotional games but at least we no longer have to deal with it.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)