If your child has been involved in and commited to an activity but suddenly wants to quit, do you let them?
My daughter has decided she wants to quit dance. She takes 3 classes a week (her choice) and all of her recital costumes are already paid for. She has about 10 classes to go to finish the season and perform, but she doesn't want to continue. I have been dragging her to class for about a month now, and I am not sure it is worth torturing her, just to make her follow through.
I'm not a parent but I am a dancer and I have seen a lot of kids getting into dance. I am guessing from your description that you are talking about ballet or jazz or some similar style. You're saying she has 3 weeks to go (10 classes)? Is she terrified of performing in the show? Having fun in class is not the same as wanting to do it front of people . Coincidentally I took my first jazz class last night - it was hilarious - I couldn't do the splits when I was 16 - now I am (today) 46! I had fun in the class and I think it will be useful cross training for my passion - ballroom dancing - but my partner (he did it too so I wasn't the oldest in the class) we agreed that we would do it but that we would NEVER be involved in any demonstations - we love performing but we know that we will always look fat, slow and inflexible compared to the others! For a kid the expectation is often to do the show but she may believe that she isn't good enough for the show - why don't you ask her? That way she finishes off the the term and hopefully doesnt loose her joy of dance - remember there is a whole lot of different types of dance - I always wanted to dance as a kid but thought that meant ballet -which fortunately my mother couldnt afford - I say fortunately because was physically ill-suited to it and it probably would have broken my heart being bad at it! Try her on some other types of dance (tap, jazz, ballroom, latin american, flaminco, irish, scottish, round dancing, line dancing, rock & roll, aerobics, martial arts , ice dancing )
The other option of course is that the kids are just picking on her - there is nothing meaner than some ballet kids - they become hypercritical of themselves and everyone else around them.
I would just let her quit a month ago - but talked to the guys over there to try and secure her place if she decided to return shortly... There were good chances she just needed a break.
After a month of forceful attendance it is much more complicated I think. I still would let her have her way, but the chances she returns are slim now...
Thanks Misha, I agree with you! I did let her take a break for a week in there somewhere. I kept hoping she would change her mind, because she has put in so much time. I would like to let her quit now, but my husband doesn't want quiting to become a habit for her. And then there is they money issue - quite costly...
I too, like too let her have her way as much as possible and don't think activities like this should be forced upon a child. She begged to take these classes 6months ago, and loved them for awhile.
Well, reaching an agreement with your husband is altogether different issue I personally don't agree to his approach - but frankly I'm one of the least authoritative persons in relation to your family internal matters. Whatever works for your family is fine I think
And money - yeah, kids are expensive - but after all they are the only worthwhile reason to earn and spend
I think you have to challenge your kids and their abilities otherwise they just get comfortable in the fun of it all. Kids are born great, instinctively loving, generous, trusting, but it's our job to give them discipline, and an ache/desire to grow.
Misha, are you a fan of John Holt? If not, I think you would appreciate his work!
I agree that children should have lots of freedom and love to fuel their natural desire to learn. But I have also learned that some children need some rules or guidelines to help them learn to control themselves.
Obviously, I am not strict parent
As you can guess I'm not a strict parent either
While I read quite a few books on parenting, both Russian and English, I don't remember anything by John Holt. I might give it a try some time, but I already have a long list of required reading from Mark, so it can take a while
Thank you, Lissie. You were right! It is actually a combination of reasons - some of the girls in the classes are less than kind to her and she is convinced that the teacher picks on her. Her teacher this year has very little teaching experience and a good amount of attitude, so I am not surprised. I don't think she should have to put up with that.
She really loves to perform, so I hope that this one bad experience doesn't ruin it for her forever. She would have to get through 9 more weeks of classes and she doesn't want to even try one more class, so I should let it go. She takes ballet, jazz and tap. Ballet is her favorite.
I completely agree with what you said - ballet girls (and teachers) can be really nasty! I had a teacher when I was about 10 that would walk around and "tap" our muscles (with her cane!) to see if they were properly flexed at the barre. That was the end of my ballet career
Although, I do think that once you develop a love of dance, it never really goes away. I dance around the house on my toes quite often. Someday, my husband will take ballroom dancing lessons with me!
Well, I have 4 kids and it's tough deciding when something is right or wrong. I think it's ok to let it go. Kids don't always know if something will be their "thing" until they've tried it, however, I would not let them make a habit of it. For example, my 13 year old daughter hated her new junior high school and wanted to change. I let her make that decision, however, 3/4 of the way through, she wanted to switch again. This time I did not let her decide, because she was just running away from the same problems she had before. I told her she had to accept the choice she made and find a way to work with it and she did.
I am a strong believer of "change what you don't like and stop making excuses". If she really hates it, it's a good thing to recognize it and move on and concentrate on bigger and better things. I don't think it will adversely affect being responsible. i would rather my child quit want she hates and finds something she is happy with. As long as you talk to her and support her, she will be responsible. As far as the money goes, it's frustrating for sure, but they say, you can;t buy happiness.
by luvintkandtj 11 years ago
What would be a proper age to enroll my kids in ballroom dancing?My son and daughter are 5 and 6. They are always attempting to waltz around the house. They both love dance of all sorts. What would be a proper age to enroll my kids in ballroom dancing? any tips on hunting for a teacher?What would...
by talfonso 8 years ago
I was formerly a dancer at a dance studio, whose owner died when I was a freshman. During my first years of ballet/tap combo classes, I wore really colorful leotards while others wore black, unadorned ones. I was pretty much the class clown, but I smartened up and wore the same black leotards as...
by Answered 2 years ago
Just wondering how much you would be willing to pay for your child's art classes - and say the cost included supplies. What reasons might you be willing to pay more? Also, for the amount you say you are willing to pay, how long do you expect each class to be and how many classes? Please be...
by Susan Reid 10 years ago
Here's my example. My husband left this morning on a five-day fishing trip with his buddies. I honestly am happy for him going. But I was annoyed that he spent the last week packing, buying a new fishing rod, really getting into the whole thing (basically extending the time "away" well...
by AustralianNappies 8 years ago
Is 3 years old too young for dance classes?
by Amanda Alexander 7 years ago
What is/ was your favorite Mommy & Me class with your toddler?I'm taking my 16 month old to classes at the local Creative Discovery Museum, The Little Gym, and we'll start dance when she's 2. What are your favorites? Why or why not?
Copyright © 2021 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of Maven Coalition, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|