Okay – my first experience expressing my thoughts publicly outside my comfort zone.
I am not going to have an ongoing theme, like health or the environment but will write about whatever idea I would like to move forward.
Today – Medicine and Spirit
I am not a spiritual person but I believe we all have our own spirit – I don’t know what defines our individual spirit but we all have one –our own sense of self - our living energy. Please don’t confuse me with someone who is overly earthy (I wish) – I wear make-up, willing to spend 10 bucks to see a movie on the giant screen (though I don’t usually buy the horrible movie food at outrageous prices) and like computer games and listen to books on CDs.
But I am someone who seriously believes in spirit. I am agnostic so not that kind of spirit. We all have our own essence that is exemplifies, to all who meet us, telling them who we are. Of course we have some parts we save for just ourselves or those we love but we all make impressions on or a determination about a person based on every single social encounters we have. It could be someone who holds the door open for you as you pass or someone who doesn’t but we all have immediate impressions about that person - by the spirit of their decision. Whether it is right or wrong we do it. Unconsciously maybe – but regardless
Spirit, in my humble opinion, is what we use to make all our decisions – we all have help with decision-making: education, environment, happy memories, bad sad or horrific memories, information, etc, etc. But who you are, your spirit (I believe) is what guides the way you behave, think and the decisions you make. I am not a doctor, shrink or anyone who is really in a position to make such statements. I am just insightful and feel thoughtful. This is my belief and understanding.
So what is this all about – as long as you are not hurting yourself or someone else – you should embrace who you are - right. You may be the person who “dresses down”, uses foul language (remember only if you are not hurting someone), cheats on your spouse, spends money foolishly, hates dogs, self centered - sacrifices for the benefit of others, refuses to be tipped by old people, keeps and cares about world peace and so on. It really is okay to accept yourself for who you are – isn’t it? Maybe it is more okay if you are completely honest about who you are to those who are affected the most by the choices you make. But is that really enough? I don’t think so. I watched an interview with a writer on some television station some time ago and he gave his feeling about political correctness. It went something like this - political correctness is the result of lack of …basic manners. Thus – if people were more considerate, better mannered – political correctness would be non-existent. I think this is true. We are a society of bad manners, very bad manners. I work at a community college and I can assure this is true. Thus the unfortunate need has arisen to have indecent behavior be “officially corrected”.
We live in a society where our spirit is influenced by much – including but not limited to the media, needs of others and government ideology (don’t get me wrong – I am a serious liberal). We are so confused by what is right and wrong we don’t know how we are suppose to behave so we look to the very things that are bad for us to decide how to be good. We are in a serious cultural lag!
I think our individuality is being sucked into a giant vacuum and deposited into massive cookie cutter that spits out status quo. We would rather complain about than embrace difference. It is a lot harder to complain about something than embrace it. We get “Peed” off when we bump against it. I don’t mean individuality as in race or ethnicity – fortunately that continues to be embraced slowly but decisively. Many growing pains but the growing is taking place.
We are often offended or in many cases offensive when we encounter different personalities and/or off behaviors. Why can’t we be miserable if that is what our spirit indicates? Now for those of you –not unlike myself- who immediately think about the abusers and tormentors across the globe – I am not referring to “them”.
Let me clarify - I am only talking about those of us - who feel they are part of main society and are contributing to the advancement of that society as is. We work, play, and fail - by some acknowledge rule – whatever that is. We make little changes here and there to claim our spot in the big picture - we want to be accepted and engaged. We often compare ourselves to others - you know - like to gauge if we are doing it right. Am I - as good a parent as “them”? Do my children think I am cool – do my co-workers talk about me or complain/compare the way I do things? Should I spend just a little bit more or less money on something because it will be noticed if I do and make a statement “about” me? My question for the last bit of that sentence is - why do we care about that? I know you don’t care - not a bit. If that were the case why are we not all driving around in safe, unadorned, efficient and cheap cars? We are individuals and want to express who we are by the things we buy.
Back to spirit – Lets just talk about me – I am a good example of a “spirit abuser”. I want my kids to be happy – happy, happy, happy – granted I had a miserable childhood but I seriously want my kids to be happy. The problem is happiness is not instantaneous but I think it is. This is going to be a very long entry. I am using parenthood but will not focus on it – as a parent - gauging your parenting skills on by whether your children are happy is a very bad idea. Your children will be happy if they are happy children not because you made them happy and the happiness you do make for them will not be instantaneous. It comes when they are adults and can lead healthy, productive, and interesting lives. Not normal because the word normal is code for what the favor of the day is. Normal should be a word used only to describe innate objects like paper or airplanes. Not people – if someone tells you they are religious nothing else just that – what does that tell you about their beliefs. You will not be able to define a person's beliefs by that one word! Just that they have a belief in something. I mean what does the word normal tell us – Zippo!
Okay back to spirit – I have a very quirky personality/spirit – a difficult one to say the least. I am what you call a quick responder – quick to get mad, quick to be happy, quick to be sad, quick to argue, quick to be proud, quick to laugh, quick to take responsibility, quick to blame– just about anything a person can be – I am quick at it. Not just moods or feelings – I am hyper physically as well –annoying to the greatest degree.
I believe everything should be done to the best it can be – complete – nothing left undone. It is bad enough that I have to deal with myself but so do those who love me, work with me, interact with me – you get my point - which is the point. I am to be dealt with. This is my entire point of this writing. I have a spirit that annoys people – not everyone and not always but you know the type I am talking about. That would be me.
Yet – I feel an urgent need to suppress it as much as possible because, in today’s society I am incredibly annoying – thus comes the medication part of the title. I have this obsessive need to do everything the best it can be – no dust ball left un collected or dish left unwashed - which we all know is humanly impossible unless you only have a few things to do – ever! I have succeeded in letting things go and allowing the joys of life to enter – but only with the use of drugs. The joys however are muted.
I have medicated my spirit with prescription drugs. Now my spirit is still there – you can’t remove who you are even with a scalpel but it is dulled and diluted. This really makes my life soooo much easier – allowing me to accomplish those “things” that need a more dilute me. My family especially. - Imagine my household – off medication. Lets take my dog – I love my dog – my dog is family. Off medication – my dog brings her dirty and I mean dirty balls, bones, stuffed animals, neighbor’s garbage and smells into the house, on the couch –and (if my husband allowed) in our bed. She is smart in many ways but - well she would be dead by car if we didn’t have her very securely gated in. The worse manners of any dog I have ever met and most people who come to my house avoid her. I have not been off my meds since we got her. But – I can tell you it would be a very different story for my dog if I weren’t popping a pill everyday since she came into existence. I have had dogs in the past - off the meds. I would never hit a dog (person or any animal intentionally) – or even be cruel or mean – but she would have a very different home life. No more toys in house, getting on furniture, going through garbage, eating people food– she would not be dragging me down the sidewalk when we walk – she literally makes me run. But my responses are not that quick and my caring about her bad habits is not that strong.
Thus I return to the instantaneous happiness regarding parenting and kids – I mentioned earlier. I am not so quick to say no to junk food (even though I cook good food), I am not so quick to turn the telly off even though I know that it is not good for kids to watch too much. I am not so quick to make them clean their rooms or organize their stuff or exercise or do volunteer work or experience new and different things or make them walk or ride their bikes or all the things I am fairly adamant about when I am off the drugs. I wouldn’t say I am a mean person (except when I am on the meds – I do feel mean that’s why I take them) I am just more comprehensive. I speak firmly but I don’t yell or call my kids’ names or anything – I just insist on things being done right that is right by my standards off the meds.
So – I am back to the title of this incredibly long “hub”.
Medicine and Spirit
Should a person be true to their spirit - the essence of who they are - good, bad, and ugly and with warts - be accepted by those who are willing to take you as is and criticized by those who won’t. Should one fret over how we are perceived by others, if we are as “good” as their contemporaries – lets face it we are not in the same company as our parents (maybe better) – or should you find solace and acceptance and ease by succumbing to the medical lobotomy that has become an accepted and encouraged behavior/alternative that will undoubtedly to be an influencing factor in your spirit. Is this why we are all so docile? I wasn’t “engaged” in the 60’s but would there have been a 60’s had the drugs been different – like what we have now.
I have no idea but I have decided yet again to try it without the drugs – just let it all hang out – if you can believe it my husband prefers it.
bye
but....forums are for discussions. This post should be applied to a Hub and you can invite people thru the Extreme Makeover forum, to visit and suggest improvements. 
