where has the definition of a "lady" gone?

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  1. Control-It profile image58
    Control-Itposted 13 years ago

    I feel as if girls these days have different outlooks on how they're suppose to act. Girls now think it's okay to get pregnant, that having sex with numerous guys is okay and that (in layman's term) being "ghetto" is cute? That swearing in every sentence is "cool", that wearing less and less clothes is "what's in". I don't know what to say, but is it the parents fault for these teens acting like this? Because it seems to me that the younger the generation, the more they careless about education and the more they want to be in mischief. Who is to blame? Or what is the cause of this?

    1. FindMyTeenFashion profile image59
      FindMyTeenFashionposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Our society is so sexual now.  It is crazy what you can see on prime-time television now.  We live in a society where children have a lot less boundaries.  I have Written a hub, "Are Teen Celebs too Sexy."  I explore the influence that pop culture has had on our youth.  My hope is that parents will become the primary role models again.

  2. Cagsil profile image71
    Cagsilposted 13 years ago

    Welcome to HubPages! smile

    To answer your question, I have written several hubs on "character" traits of people, which are missing from society.

    The blame is placed on the parents and their lack of knowledge of being a parent. I am sure they did the best they could, considering what they had to work with. It simply shows you how much the parents know about parenting.

    I also wrote a hub on "moral values and family values", which also seem to be missing from society.

    It's sad. smile Just my thoughts. smile

    1. Control-It profile image58
      Control-Itposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I think that too, but sometimes kids disrespect their own parents, but my mother actually never let me go out and be with my friends until I was a sophomore, which probably helped me a lot. But thanks for your thought smile

    2. profile image0
      Brenda Durhamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Cagsil, I found that hub I assume.  Thought I might find some nuggets of moral decency and all that comin' from you, but was quite disappointed.
      It mostly talked about wife-beating being bad and how parents should have rights and how parents shouldn't beat their kids to discipline them.  It didn't even touch upon the moral issues of mischief and promiscuity that the OP was concerned about.

      Also saw one of your other hubs about "beautiful sexy women".....they're certainly beautiful, certainly under-dressed, and number 7 (the one by the Impala) looks awfully young.....
      just sayin'.

      1. Cagsil profile image71
        Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

        I have not written a hub on moral decency. I wrote a hub about the misconception of moral values and family values, as though society has forgotten how to teach either or both.

        I haven't written a hub on either of those either. I think the hub you are referring to is the one I described above, however, I think you missed the point of the hub(the overall message), but then again, I'm not surprised.
        It is interesting to see you went to any of those. Why? Who knows. They are simply women in swimsuits, nothing much more.

  3. Rafini profile image69
    Rafiniposted 13 years ago

    I think when looking for morals and values you need to consider the influence of the Media and Pop Culture.  What you see on TV, in Movies and worn on Musical Artists is what you're going to get within the younger generation because they want to fit it.

    1. Control-It profile image58
      Control-Itposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks probably a good one, I think it's these trends people make because in my opinion society has the tendency to blow things up bigger than what they really are.

      1. Rafini profile image69
        Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

        Definitely.  Shock Value brings 'respectability' & 'credibility' these days rather than discussion. Guess the discussions are over. hmm

  4. Shadesbreath profile image78
    Shadesbreathposted 13 years ago

    FIrst off, there have always been harlots and the like in society.  It's just more visible because it's televised now.  Secondly, the removal of discipline from parents by over-reactive if well-intended laws heavily contributes. 

    Spare the rod and raise a slut

    In addition, and perhaps primarily, the culture that insists on "respect" as a right and not something that is earned has been telling kids from pre-school onward that they are "special people" the whole time, that they "can do anything," instilling self-esteem based on nothing but empty, feel-good words.  Those kids grow up thinking they are empowered to do whatever they want in life, which might have been a good thing, except that that empowerment is unsupported as these people have no self-discipline.  So they feel they are important and deserve respect but they have no work ethic and no discipline to create actual respect (which they actually understand and feel down deep; they know they don't actually have any real value to society, which is important and well documented in psychology and sociology).  So they have to get "attention" which they willingly confuse with respect, by doing the "shock value" approach, being trampy and ultimately undermining their self-respect in a cycle that only goes down. 

    Add to that the perversion of femminism's core ideals and, well, there you have it.

  5. UniqueBeauty profile image60
    UniqueBeautyposted 13 years ago

    I think I must be of a dying race. I am an eighteen year old *lady* who proudly carries that title. My life reflects my faith and values, and it is due to the upbringing I had from my mother. She always has taught me that I worth more than anything and to not lower myself or my standards. I teach a teen sunday school class and all the girls in it seem to have a low value system. Yes, I partially blame it on society because of what they try to force onto these young girls. Look at our role-models now days. I am not an old person- I'm only eighteen! but I hate to see what the media has pushed on this generation, me including. I can be made to feel archaic in my values, stiff in my standards and downright unacceptable as a normal teenager. I have defied hormones that many adult tv talk shows say can't be, and I am not pregnant nor have done anything to become pregnant. The guys I'm around, no matter how hardcore their view on life is, treat me different and with more respect than they treat many, and close to all, the other girls they are around.

    Parents and their standards and mainly VIEWS on how to raise their children play the biggest part in this fairytale. Many parents think that they shouldn't tell their daughters to not party, not date, not have sex. They think that it is unrealistic or that it is normal actions for a teen girl. The girls nowadays, 13-16 year olds are more mature sexually than they are mentally. Because they have given their hearts and bodies away to guys that now mean nothing.

    From a teens perspective- raise the standards. We teens are waiting and wanting to do something big and be someone important, and for someone to raise the bar and tell us we can do it. If the standard for how we act is barely existent, and people expect us to act like jerks, morons and ho's then that is how we will act. I am proof of that. My mom expects me to act like a lady. I can have fun and play pranks, but keep my respect a level up. Come on people, raise the bar. you may be surprised.


  6. Jerami profile image59
    Jeramiposted 13 years ago

    I remember way back when...  When women was burning their braws and the boys was burning their draft cards...  Grand paw said that they didn't know what kind of pandoras box that they was a opening up.
        Looking back ...
       Maybe Grand Paw knew what he was a talking about????

    1. profile image0
      china manposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I agree with the sentiment of this.  And some of the other posts that point at different aspects of raising kids etc. 

      But, in my view, these are just the symptoms of a declining society. The Religious right trying to drag us backward to the moral values and behaviours of the past are reacting to this decline by trying to impose sets of rules and get them enforced.

      The underlying causes of it all are not being addressed while we all look at the causes and argue about sticking plaster remedies for something that is broken.

      Society since the middle ages has been separated and divided again and again, first by the forcible removal of people from their villages to make way for sheep, profit, and the weight of this mass of people helped start the Industrial Revolution. Then these people, who had lost their basic ability to survive on their own by agriculture were further split by emmigration, and in America dozens of different disparate races were forced together but remained divided in many ways. The end of slavery divided the people into black and white and so on.  Modern society with feminism, racism, terrorism, splintered religious groups, vicious economic cycles that leave the older population holding onto their money at the expense of the young, and the rich moving their wealth and wealth creating businesses out of the country - leaving the mass of people poorer. The separation of love and sex in the 60's separated one generation from the next. Now - debt, war and the media are dividing the people further every day.  In my opinion it is time to wake up and take back control of government to the people, make the current joke of democracy into a real democracy where people run countries for their people and business is put back in its place in the machine of society where it makes the wheels go round but is not in the driving seat and bankers return to handling the money not stealing it.

  7. rebekahELLE profile image87
    rebekahELLEposted 13 years ago

    I think every generation asks this question. it's the environment in which children are raised, what they are exposed to in the media/pop culture. all society plays a part. look at the answers you have received so far, everyone is different in how we view life so parenting is going to differ also. some parents simply don't parent, they let their kids exist with no boundaries, instruction... etc. then you have the opposite extreme who enforce their beliefs and control their children, many of them turn away.

    on the other hand, I've seen and met some amazing young girls and young adults. I guess the difference that is most evident is caring parents or a caring caregiver. teachers and community leaders also play a part in giving support and direction. good parenting is not for the faint of heart.

  8. donotfear profile image82
    donotfearposted 13 years ago

    How do you define "lady"?

    1. Cagsil profile image71
      Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      lol lol

    2. profile image0
      china manposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Lady is synonymous with gentleman and refers to perceived behaviours in society.  Normally this is translated as moral behaviour and etiquette.  The title of Lady assumes that the woman in question is born that way and must be given the respect of society automatically.

      This idea arises in the Romantic era and is now outdated and not really applicable to modern society except as the opposite of 'slut' and any other of the degrading names given to women today.

      On the one hand it is an attribute of hierarchical power and domination that is not useful in a modern society - on the other hand it represents positive values in some respects.

    3. Control-It profile image58
      Control-Itposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Well I guess what I mean by "lady" is having self-respect for yourself and not leaning on superficial things. The young generations love following trends, real quickly. Like those "silly bands" bracelets, everyone and teen started wearing it. When skinny jeans came out, everyone wanted one and then flannel shirts shirt come out everyone started wearing it. What I mean is that most teens are easily influenced. I went to go say hi to my cousin in high school and drop her something, walking down the halls girls talking "ghetto", swearing everything 5 seconds and sayingg, "Oh my god, I got some last night, he was so good." We know teens can't be angels, we were all teens and did our few bad deeds, but the moral values of some teens aren't even there anymore. It is getting out of hand a little bit.

  9. CYBERSUPE profile image61
    CYBERSUPEposted 13 years ago

    Without a doubt the fault lies with the Parents, who have lost control or never had control over their children. It seems what was wrong when I was growing up is now right and what was right back then is now wrong. How did this happen? Respect for family is gone. Cheating and lying has become common place. No one will take responsibility for their actions. So, I guess since today is the Fourth of July---the answer might be "Let Freedom Ring"

    1. profile image0
      china manposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      This is almost exactly what Plato ( I think it was) said sometime long before the year nought big_smile

      1. Dave Barnett profile image57
        Dave Barnettposted 13 years agoin reply to this

        student of Plato, oh great and wonderful, God couldn't even control his own brats in the GardenLLOL

        1. profile image0
          china manposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          But I have to take issue with your post - parents have a relatively small affect on childrens behaviour, most of their time they are at school, watching TV, playing computer games and with each other.  The problems are with society not just the parents.

          1. Sab Oh profile image56
            Sab Ohposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            "parents have a relatively small effect on children's behavior"

            NO, they have a huge effect.

            1. Dave Barnett profile image57
              Dave Barnettposted 13 years agoin reply to this

              Public schools are a problem, because they take a lot of the influence that parents should have and intersperse their own veiws. Parents can influence more, but their are a lot of contradictory ideas out there

          2. Cagsil profile image71
            Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            And, I will take issue with your post, as well.

            Parents are the reason for the way children grow up. The impact of what they do or do not do, is HUGE in making a difference as to whether the child grows up responsible or not.

  10. Shadesbreath profile image78
    Shadesbreathposted 13 years ago

    The information age accelerated the death of religion by introducing people to just how many there truly are, and how absurd they all manifest in practice, driving the final nail into God's coffin, and burying with him any reason for morality beyond social contract.

    WHile that is enough to prevent murder and rape to a degree, it is certainly not enough to prevent the pleasures of the flesh, which bring Sodom and Gomorrah images to mind, thus making the obvious social trajectory anticipated by the writers of that particular story prophetic, but too late.  The absurdity of the supernatural part ruining the message in an ironic twist that makes for the want of the supernatural something we actually could use.  Where's the big guy when you need him?

    Sitting back waiting to condemn all these souls to Hell rather than showing up?

    In the meantime, without fear of God and eternal damnation or some other magical consequence, culture will continue to enjoy it's pleasures of the flesh etc., and "ladies" will be treasured only by a few.

    The question is, will that undermine society or merely change it?  Can technology and science do what religion has grossly failed to accomplish and finally bring peace, even if it doesn't look like the peace envisioned by the religious that came out of the Mediterranean rim etc.?

    1. Sab Oh profile image56
      Sab Ohposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      "The information age accelerated the death of religion"

      Well, it didn't do a very good job of it, considering that the vast majority of human beings on this planet still subscribe to some religion.

      Maybe it just 'accelerated' the growth of arrogant self-obsession among the tiny minority of atheists in the world (present company excepted, of course).

  11. Sally's Trove profile image79
    Sally's Troveposted 13 years ago

    A lady is one who is wise. She sees the suggestive approaches made to her by the opposite sex for what they are...flirtation and sex. She knows how to deflect those approaches when she has to and knows how to accept them when they are honest, even though awkwardly delivered.

    She also knows to let others' problems be theirs, and never invites them to be hers. At the same time, she has compassion for those who do and makes them feel at ease.

    A lady seeks not to diminish but to encourage.

    Training in being a lady starts in childhood. If a girl doesn't have a teacher about this by the time she's three years old, then she may never be one.

    A lady is all about having confidence in herself as well as having compassion for others while also understanding that others may try to use her as they can.

    What a great topic! And what burden to young women.

  12. wildorangeflower profile image61
    wildorangeflowerposted 13 years ago

    I think that the determinants of behavior of the youth is partly due to mass media influences, parental supervisions, peer pressure and their own psychological make up.

    Among the influences, peer pressure and conformity and being "in"or "cool" so as to belong -- are the most important factor in the behavioral patterns of the youth, plus the prevailing culture.
    Usually the youth are facing difficult challenges like identity crisis.
    being a "lady" is a far concept though in some culture, the way you defined it.
    The Victorian era is the best era when it comes to being a "Lady"

  13. profile image0
    bluetiger1520posted 13 years ago

    I think Hollywood has blinded our youth about how we are suppose to look these days. Everyone wants a reality show; so they act out like self respect no longer assist.


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