It doesn't take a very smart person to realize when someone is being bullied! It doesn't take a strong person to push someone down on the playground or laugh at the kid sitting next to him. It isn't always the "princess" or the "football star" that leads everyone to the edge. Sometimes the quiet ones are the LOUDEST! Take hede to this blog...listen, read, and understand..bullying is not a joke, not a verb used so lightly by children and teens, not even a fad....IT'S SO VERY REAL...
WATCH, LISTEN, LEARN, UNDERSTAND...
I wasn't a bully but was bullied growing up. It didn't last very long but for the short time I was going through it, I learned these things along the way...IF SOMETHING DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT, LOOK RIGHT, SOUND RIGHT....HUNNY, IT JUST ISN'T RIGHT!
Do not ever second guess yourself. Turn and go the other way and when you cannot do that. Try this:
1st. Let's understand WHY PEOPLE BULLY:
THEY ARE LONELY
NEED ATTENTION
NOT CONFIDENT
TRYING 2 FIT IN
IS HURTING
IS ANGRY
USED TO DOING IT
JEALOUSY OR ENVY
AFRAID OF NOT BEING LIKED
how about this: BEING BULLIED AT HOME
GETS AWAY WITH IT
OTHERS THINK IT'S FUNNY
Do you see the pattern here? Look carefully at the top of the list of reasons people bully. ATTENTION, LONELY, ANGRY, HURT, TRYING TO FIT IN...They just want to normal! They want to be okay with life as you are. They want to know that you don't have to be perfect or not so perfect to just be a kid, live a normal life, and grow up to be what they dream of being!
2nd on the list of DEALING WITH BULLIES:
UNDERSTAND THAT IT ISN'T ALWAYS ABOUT THE WORDS USED, BUT THE
WAY THEY ARE SAID AND THE BODY LANGUAGE OF THE BULLY.
If someone says to you, "Move over!" or "MOVE" and just pushes you out of the way, instead of politely saying "hey, would you mind if I sit there?" or "is that seat saved for anyone?" WHEN COMPLIMENTING. MEAN WHAT YOU SAY: Don't say, "love your dress" and then roll your eyes. KNOW WHERE YOUR WORDS ARE COMING FROM AND WHAT THEY WOULD MEAN TO YOU IF SOMEONE SAID THEM. BODY LANGUAGE AND YOUR ATTITUDE CAN MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD! IT'S NOT HARD TO BE KIND, JUST DO IT!
3RD THING TO UNDERSTAND AND PROTECT YOURSELF FROM BULLYING:
IS THE PERSON GOING BACK AND FORTH FROM BEING NICE TO
BULLYING OR IS THIS A CONSTANT THING BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU OR HOWEVER MANY THERE MAY BE? If every single day you go to school and the same jerk pushes you, makes fun of you, talks ugly about you, calls you names, and teases you BUT DOESN'T PHYSICALLY TOUCH YOU AND KEEPS WALKING. LET IT GO!! If they are literally in your face or next to you calling you names, laughing at you, talking ugly about you and you actually see or hear them. DO THIS....STAND UP TO THEM, WHAT ARE THEY REALLY GOING TO DO THAT YOU ALSO CANNOT DO TO PROTECT YOURSELF AND STAND UP FOR THE PERSON THAT GOD MADE YOU TO BE?!?! THIS IS THE SCARIEST AND HARDEST PART OF BULLYING. When my older brother told me I had to stand up for myself against these "girls" that constantly picked on me, pulled my hair, teased me about anything they could and EVEN CAME TO MY HOME AND SPRAY PAINTED IT RED...
I KNEW I HAD TO STAND UP FOR MYSELF....IT WASN'T GOING AWAY AND I WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT COULD DO IT!
4TH THING TO UNDERSTAND WITH BULLIES IS THAT WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU HAVE TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF, BE PREPARED. DO NOT EVER GO INTO A BULLYING SITUATION WITHOUT TOTAL REINFORCEMENTS!!!
THIS INCLUDES THE FOLLOWING:
GET YOUR CONFIDENCE IN ORDER AND GET READY TO SET SAIL INTO THE SEA OF BULLIES: THE WAVES ARE HIGH AND FIERCE AND WINDS WILL THROW YOU AROUND, BUT HOLD ON TIGHT AND DON'T GIVE UP! YOU CAN DO THIS AND YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT..IT'S OKAY TO CRY, IT'T OKAY TO BE HURT, AND IT'S OKAY TO WANT IT TO END, BUT DON'T GIVE UP NO MATTER WHAT! TAKE A DEEP BREATH, LOOK AROUND YOU, FIND YOUR INNER STRENGTH. GO FOR IT!
5TH IMPORTANT STEP IN DEALING WITH BULLIES: MAKE SURE YOU
UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING AND THAT YOU ARE NOT MAKING
ANY SITUATION WORSE WITH YOUR HURT AND FEAR. YOU CAN
OVERCOME THE FEAR, JUST THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK. Examples: You are being pushed on the playground and you know as soon as you get back up, the same jerk is going to try to push you again. JUST SIT DOWN AND LET HIM TRY! When the same jerk that pu shed you yesterday, approaches you today, SIT DOWN AND SHOW HIM YOU DON'T CARE THAT HE WANTS TO PUSH YOU, BUT THAT YOU ARE SMARTER THAN HE IS AND CAN SIT DOWN ALL BY YOURSELF! YOU DON'T NEED PERMISSION TO DEFEND YOURSELF AND PUT HUMOR INTO THE SITUATION. WORDS SUCH AS: "whatever", Wow!", "Seriously?" are normal and rational ways for you to give your bully a chance to STOP BULLYING! IF THEY DON'T TAKE IT, THAT'S NOT YOUR PROBLEM!! OKAY? IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!! NO SECOND GUESSES, NOT TURNING BACK! IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY!
6TH RULE OF THUMB DEALING WITH BULLIES:
ADULTS NEED AND HAVE TO BE TOLD, NO MATTER WHO THE
BULLY IS!
NO MATTER WHO THE TARGET IS. IF THE ADULTS DON'T KNOW,
HOW CAN WE HELP YOU? HOW CAN WE MAKE IT BETTER IF YOU ARE HIDING IT FROM US? IT'S OKAY THAT YOU ARE AFRAID, AND IT'S OKAY TO BE A LITTLE WORRIED WE MAY FREAK OUT, BUT PLEASE TELL SOMEONE YOU KNOW WILL HELP YOU AND YOU CAN TRUST! IF YOUR TEACHER AT SCHOOL DOESN'T HELP YOU, SIMPLY GO TO THE OFFICE AND CALL YOUR PARENTS OR SOMEONE YOU TRUST! DO NOT GO WITH ANYONE THAT YOU DO NOT TRUST OR KNOW HAS YOUR BACK!
7TH AND FINAL...!!!!!!!!!!!!LISTEN, SPEAK, STAND, AND SHINE AWAY!!1
KNOW YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. KNOW YOU ARE ONE OF A KIND! GOD
MADE YOU EXACTLY HOW YOU ARE AND NOBODY CAN OR SHOULD
EVER TRY TO TAKE THAT FROM YOU! YOU CAN OVERCOME THIS
AND YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE! Leave yourself reminders of words that make you smile and tell you that life is amazing and we need
to live it with peace, laughter, love, and kindness! Anger and violence only
lead to one or two places. PRISON OR DEATH!!! DON'T CHOOSE
THE WRONG PATH JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT TO BE COOL
AND HAVE OTHERS THINK YOUR ARE "COOL"
IT'S JUST A WORD, IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING!!! YOU ARE
STRONG AND YOU CAN SURVIVE!!!
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW MY PERSONAL STORY OF THE NIGHT I DEALT
WITH MY BULLIES....BE HAPPY TO SHARE!!!
HAVE KINDNESS IN YOUR HEART FOR OTHERS!
