Need help for my son...

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  1. vietnamtips profile image60
    vietnamtipsposted 8 years ago

    My son has gone to the nursery school for a week. For few first days, he had liked to go to the school. But, now, when he gets up and his morther prepares his clothes to go to school, he cries. He said that he did not want to go to school. Who met this thing and got experiences for help? Thank you very much

    1. Bel Marshall profile image61
      Bel Marshallposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      You may want to talk with him and ask him why he is so distressed about going.
      Often children don't know how to verbalize problems at school, especially one in nursery school.  Is he having trouble with other children?  Also talk with the teacher and find out if he is having any issues during the day.
      He may simply be feeling anxiety about being away from home and his parents.  Talk to him, assure him that you or his mother will always be there at the end of the day to pick him up and you are always very happy when he comes home.
      My daughter loved her preschool but often cried when I left the school.  She loved playing with her friends and all the activities but the truth was, I was working too many hours and wasn't able to be with her very much, she felt my absence and cried when I would leave.  Luckily, I was able to reduce my work hours and spend more time at home.  As soon as I did that, she quit crying when I took her to school.

      1. profile image53
        nomorerackposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        i completely agree with this one, you need to talk to your child and found out what is the root cause why suddenly he don't want to go to school anymore, from there you will know what to do to convince him to go back,..

    2. profile image0
      cookingdivaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      There might be simple or complex issues with day care! You can ask your child, but at this age they may or may not be able to verbalize their real or rational fears.

      If you, or someone in family can watch a child while he is hysterical might be helpful, I know it is not always choice we can pick. Good luck.

  2. 2uesday profile image82
    2uesdayposted 8 years ago

    It is difficult when this happens, it needs lots of tact and understanding. It is highly likely that many children would prefer to be a home than at nursery so what he is feeling is not unusual.

    It would probably be a good idea to have a quite word with the nursery but not mention it to the child. Once the nursery know they should keep an eye on the situation that he is not being left out by the other children.

    If the situation turns out that he just prefers being a home it sometimes works to give a child a chart and put a sticker or smiley face on the days when they leave for nursery/school without a fuss. Then they get a reward at the end of the week if they have got smileys/stickers for most days.

    Hope this helps, try to remember that some children who do not like nursery or school can still end up being bright enough to be the ones who go to college/university one day. smile

  3. Autumn Lynn profile image65
    Autumn Lynnposted 8 years ago

    I have always tried to cover all my bases when it comes to problems with my kids. I think you should explore the idea that he misses you and make sure the time you have together is focused time. Just being in the same house or the same room is not giving him attention. If you have less hours together try to make sure the time you are home together is active. I even plan what I will do with each of my kids in the afternoon evening to ensure I actually spend active time with each one. It can even be having him actively help you with your chores like dinner or laundry. He can set the table or help you mix and cook, etc. He can walk along with you and be your 'big helper'.

    I would also explore the possibility that something at school is bothering him and have a quiet word with the teacher. I agree with the comment that suggested you do this without your son knowing.

    I read a lot of books with my girls before they went to school for the first time. My oldest was really able to get a lot of fears out when reading stories about going to school. My second daughter is not as verbal but she always requested the books about going to school so I knew she was getting something from them. I think my girls liked the Kissing Hand the best but any picture book dealing with school and seperation is helpful in my experience. There are tons.

    If you explore all the various possibilities and your son is still teary I would give him some time to adjust and let him know that you understand this is a hard time and a big change but you are there for him. As much as we want to smooth out all the bumps for kids sometimes all we can do is let them know we are there to support them as they manage the bumps.

    Sorry if I sound preachy. I really do not consider myself an expert I just passed along my own thought processes. My girls have changed schools and had ups and downs and I still go through this same process each time they seem to be having a hard time adjusting.

  4. Polly C profile image95
    Polly Cposted 8 years ago

    It's actually fairly common for children to be very enthusiastic the first time they go to nursery, and then seem to take a backwards stance.  My first son was exactly like that - he really loved the first day and then the next two or three weeks were really hard. In fact, one time I even had to go and collect him early because he was so upset.

    I think it is because the reality dawns on the child that they are going to be left for quite a while, and this is something that will be happening on a regular basis. For my son, it was a definite separation issue but it didn't apear on the first day because the reality of the routine had not hit home.  It took my son about three weeks of hating going to nursery before he began to enjoy it again. Hopefully your son will be the same.

  5. Lisa HW profile image63
    Lisa HWposted 8 years ago

    Besides his mother's asking him if there's something that happened that he doesn't like, or if there's something about the teacher or the school he doesn't like; maybe he just needs to go to bed a little earlier or otherwise given a little more time in the morning. If little kids are tired, or if some of them feel hurried in having to get dressed, they'll often just whine or cry.  Then, if someone asks what's wrong they'll either say they don't know or else even make up something (because they don't really know what's wrong with them).

  6. matherese profile image60
    mathereseposted 8 years ago

    I agree with what nomorerack said, i remember when that happenned to me when i was 4years old my mother sat me down and asked what my reason was, it was just because i did not want to be in a school were i had no siblings, also i was used to mingling with older people because all my sibling were older than me and i did not like the new crowd of people i had around me

  7. profile image49
    Bangaloreanposted 8 years ago

    I have two children and I have had the same experience with both of them. For kids who have stayed home with their moms till the school age and have heard about about schools and have watched other kids going to school, it is exciting on the first day of school. Because it is a novelty and is thrilling. Anything new gives them a rush, but only initially.

    My daughter who is seven years old now, loved her first day of kindergarten. She chose her clothes, her backpack and packed all her stuff herself and waved goodbye to me as she rushed into the classroom. I was relieved and it was I who cried after I saw her off. She was fine for a couple of days after that and then the crying started. I talked to her, reasoned with her but to no avail. And I found out that nothing unusual had happened at the school. It is a learning process for the kids. Initial excitement wears off and they started missing home. My advise is to give it sometime, cajole the kid gently using positive reinforcements and believe me, eventually they will love school!
    The important thing to remember is to not get frustrated and yell at them or show your disappointment somehow. Kids can pick up on negative emotions and it will add to their own separation anxiety. All will be well in the end. Good luck!

  8. Purple Perl profile image56
    Purple Perlposted 7 years ago

    Quite normal! All kids go thru' this.Just act normal yourself, but just talk to your child about the various activities at school -likes and dislikes. Also meet the teacher to see if you can pinpoint what your kid does not like in school. Kids soon outgrow this stage.And enjoy school because of friends.


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