Who is more important to you? Your real parents or foster parents?

Jump to Last Post 1-5 of 5 discussions (7 posts)
  1. romari profile image59
    romariposted 7 years ago

    I am an adoptee and I discovered my real family (parents and siblings) on the Facebook. They searched for me.

    I know my parents get jealous because I knew the reality and they are afraid if I turn my back to them.

    1. A la carte profile image56
      A la carteposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      It's the people that loved you going up

    2. Cagsil profile image81
      Cagsilposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      There should be a happy medium, where both sets of parents can be an active part of your life. Selfishness on either part will only cause a division. wink

  2. Lisa HW profile image65
    Lisa HWposted 7 years ago

    romari, if the "jealous" parents you're referring to are your adoptive parents, there's at least the chance you're incorrect in thinking they "get jealous" if they don't seem "all happy" at the idea you're in touch with your birth family.  I'm a mom of 3 kids, and one is adopted from infancy. I know it's different when kids are adopted older than infancy.

    In any case, my concern with my son's meeting his birth family (and I was the one who encouraged him to respond when his birth mother contacted an agency to try to meet him) was that the family who hurt him as an infant would hurt him again (in one way or another, not physically but emotionally; mostly because they obviously weren't the most nurturing people in the world, and I didn't think they'd necessarily know the best way to share whatever had to be shared with him, without causing him to "go through some kind of thing" associated with having to digest whatever they did, said, or shared.

    I don't know you or your parents, but I'd hope (for the sake of your relationship with the parents who probably love you more than you can know) that you leave room for the possibility that your parents aren't jealous of your birth family at all.  Maybe they're just worried about how that family will impact you and your emotions.  Most adoptive parents know their child will meet and talk with the birth parents/family one day.  It's just part of the deal.  Sometimes the reunion is a happy one that adds great things to the life of the adoptee.  Sometimes, even if it starts out seeming great, things go bad; and it is the adoptive parents who will be there, trying to help their child deal with having been hurt by the birth family yet again.  Maybe none of this applies in your situation, but it definitely is how things can work sometimes.

  3. CARIBQUEEN profile image72
    CARIBQUEENposted 7 years ago

    My foster parents got dibs where importance is concerned. They show love and affection beyond all measure. The love they show, if all parents were like that, this world would be a better place. Love and appreciation to all foster parents.

  4. profile image0
    Home Girlposted 7 years ago

    As a grown up person, romari, you can establish healthy relationship with all your parents, it's up to you to set up boundaries and make it pleasant and useful experience for all of you. Easy said than done though.

  5. BobbiRant profile image61
    BobbiRantposted 7 years ago

    I was adopted as well and met my biological mother years ago.  But the one who was there for me (adopted mom) was the one who got my love.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)