As a new wife and "new" step mother, what rules are best to set at the beginning with three young men?
I am anticipating and wanting stayovers from the "teenagers" but what boundaries do I set? Scraping the dishes before the dishwater is one I am adamant about along with no cells or texting at the table during meals.
I was 1 of three boys and we were all within 3 years apart!
MY recommendations is never boss them around, or make enemies of them. If you would like them to do something, ask nicely. "Hey can you guys do me a big favor? I would really appriciate it." My dad was good at it, my mom SUCKS still. She just yells and expects us to help her.
Give them their space. Just tell them that they should take care of the dishes, loading and unloading. It is a simple task, between the three of them, they will easily see why it is important to clean them off before they go in the dishwasher.If they are getting out of hand, just have their dad yell at them!
Letting them have people over: as long as your 3 are trustworthy and honest, let them do what they want. My parents were the least strict out of any friends or family. Never had curfews or anything, and because of that we never had to revolt. And we ended up being the most well-behaved and were the least likely to get in trouble , in school an dout of school. As to where, when we had a babysitter come over and try to tell us to do something, they would usually end up crying and never coming back.
When you try to correct us or tell us what to do, we will ALWAYS fight it and do it our own way. This rings true for most boys. And I still try to fight stubbornness, I think it is instinct and sometimes being stubborn is us just proving a point to you. So if you tell someone to do something, and they don't like it, this WILL happen.
My suggestion is, don't boss them around until you are comfortable with eachother.
I don't know, I have a bunch more thoughts in my head, but I don't know your exact situation, so it is hard to say. If you do take one thing from this. Be their friends, not their boss. If you see resistance, it is not time.
My opinion, now I am an only child but have two girls and a step son. I am divorced from my oldest daughter's father. My honey has a teenage boy with his ex and we have a daughter together. My experience is that you don't want to change the rules too much from what they were. If all of a sudden the house gets strict, they will probably rebel against you. Lay down any rules right away tho so there is no confusion and everybody can discuss them right away. As for dishes, just tell them the rules of the dishes. Talk to them nicely about it and ask them if they can follow the simple rule. Definitely let them know that rules are rules or they will walk over you thinking you are easy to push over. It can be hard as a step parent as you don't know how kids will react to a new parent figure but I am sure you will do great!
by pb3131 7 years ago
What should be the "house rules" when a 15 y.o. boy has his 14 year old girl friend over to hang outThey aren't GF-BF but there is definitely some sexual tension here. Should the doors stay open? Should I respect their privacy? Should I put out a bowl of assorted condoms? Help
by nanadolls 6 years ago
Vinegar or hot sauce? Good or Bad discipline of a younger naughty child ?The punishment for being saucy, telling a lie, swearing, just being really bad and nasty child is vinegar or Hot sauce. My son & daughter-in-law give their children a small drop of vinegar or hot sauce, as...
by Eric Graudins 9 years ago
I reckon that most families play monopoly at some time or other, and have little rules of their own to make the game easier or more interesting.In our family, we do the following:1. Put a note of the highest value in the centre, and put all the fines, taxes, etc on top of it.When someone ...
by Jesusjohn78 9 years ago
I would like everyone to give an idea of their "house rules" of beer pong. I learned of a new rule earlier and would like to see if I can find more.
by christy scalia 8 years ago
I have a 10 yr old and 5 year old sons. I have no problem from my 5 yr old until the 10 yr old comes home for weekends. I don't understand. My 10 year old lashes out so bad and hates to mind. I have tried almost everything in the book. Any suggestions for me? It's bad. Bagging the doors, his head...
by Grace Marguerite Williams 5 years ago
raising and instilling parameters in their children? Why? Why not?
Copyright © 2019 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|