I've found an ex on facebook, advice needed

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  1. sheri1012 profile image58
    sheri1012posted 14 years ago

    Hi Guys

    Seven years ago I met a really great guy. Without going into detail it was lust at 1st sight! However over the weeks, for me, It went from lust to love. I soon realised he didn't feel the same.

    He kept on blowing hot and cold and I became really confused by it. you know, one minute he wants me the next nothing.

    I found out from my neice that he was in trouble and I came to the conclusion he was purposely pushing me away out of fear or whatever.
    So it ended and after a period of heartbreak hell, i moved away and moved on.

    So, i'me browsing facebook on sunday and I found him, sent a message and friends request and he accepted and we've been chatting all week.

    I now need some good advice (No time wasters please).
    I get the impression that he regrets us splitting by the way he's talking, (Could be wrong!)

    There a quite a distance in miles but i think if he was to ask I wouldn't hessitate to visit him. so what should i do, how can i tell if he is interested or just wants to be friends, and most importantly, how should i go about getting him back without looking too keen?

    Truth is, I still love him and never stopped. He dosen't know this!!

    Thanx Guys

    1. profile image0
      cosetteposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      this guy blew hot and cold, was uncommunicative and a source of heartbreak and you want him back because....?

      if a guy wants you nothing will stop him from getting to you. men are funny that way...when they want something, they move mountains to get it. lay low...make him prove he wants you. (my 2 cents)

    2. whispers of faith profile image60
      whispers of faithposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      hey im hoping this helps hubpages.com/hub/another-chance. it sounds like you are in the same situation i was in and this is my story. it also continues in http://hubpages.com/hub/In-love09, http://hubpages.com/hub/1-pie-2-pie-three-pies-4, http://hubpages.com/hub/is-this-real-or … agination, http://hubpages.com/hub/my-mind-is-racing, http://hubpages.com/hub/he-has-2-sides- … the-other. mainy of these are just journal entries about what im going through with him. i ended up giving him my virginity in http://hubpages.com/hub/sex2009. i hope by reading my hubs it will help you come up with your decision. smile
      ~whispers of faith

  2. profile image53
    sharewareposted 14 years ago


    first of all it is very great that u met him in facebook. and it is very good that u have feelings towards him. But this is the main problem, that it is kinda game on one side.

    i know u love him, but don't U wanna be loved either. Do you wanna run after him all the time? and girl u sound really crazy that u wanna visit him. What happened to the world after all, isn't it the guy who should visit you? isn't it the guy who should pay for anytime , anywhere?

    if u wanna something out of it, my advice is just keep talkin` to him, BUT don't disclose ur feelings. Don't open them, step by step. If he regrets that we guys broke up, then he is not the man. In first place , he should never ever let this happen, if he let this happen, he DOES NOT have same feelings as u do. So, do u really wanna this? don't u wanna be REALLY LOVED and APPRECIATED?
    so, at the moment, just keep talkin` with him, but keep a distance. Show him that u r not that kind of easy girls, whom you can break up with , then again , be back and talk and get love.

    so, u have to talk to him as if he is ur friend and that't it. This time, it is HIS turn , for God sake, to step up to big scene. He has to take actions, he HAS to ask you for out , HE has to visit u. But not U.

    and u r judge at the moment. So, if he will be nice, he will treat u nice, he will treat u as u r the one for him , then it is up to u , whether to accept it or not.

    take care and remember, there are a lot of stuff to do out there in the world, rather than just love, or .......(u know what i;m talkin` about)

    so, don;t loose ur mind , be cool.

    u deserve better.

  3. Julie-Ann Amos profile image67
    Julie-Ann Amosposted 14 years ago

    I'll keep it short and sweet.  If YOU found him on facebook, HE could have found YOU - but he didn't.


    1. he didn't bother to look (not a good sign)
    2. he found you and didn't bother to get in contact (not a good sign)
    3. he found you and was afraid to get in contact (not a good sign, although it doesn't mean he has no feelings, just that he is a wimp).

    Only you know how strong your feelings are, but making all the running only leads to a one sided relationship as a rule.  Pushing water uphill has a nasty habit of being pointless in the long rn.

    1. RelSol1 profile image61
      RelSol1posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I think you hit some major points, there.  One way to find out is to keep him wondering.  Now that you've made contact, ignore him for a week or two.  If he doesn't try to get your attention, he's not interested.  If he does, he may be missing you, too.

    2. Ronaldos profile image60
      Ronaldosposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Very True and well said ! Don't waist your time. They are pastfor a reason. And besides, that is why it is called past. Not past-future or new/old next ex or whatever. move on to spare yourself the crap of going through any of this again.

  4. JuJu Nanstiel profile image61
    JuJu Nanstielposted 14 years ago

    I would say let him know exactly how you feel, and his reaction will tell you everything you need to know. why beat around the bush looking for some sort of technique, there's no special approach to love, it just happens, honesty will get you further with it than any technique.

  5. Lifebydesign profile image63
    Lifebydesignposted 14 years ago

    I agree with the honesty. For yourself as well. Are you <i>sure</i> that's what you want to do? Are you going in there for the right reasons? Has he changed? Have you?

    Just checking, and all the best :-)

  6. profile image0
    SirDentposted 14 years ago

    How did this one get by you Misha? RelSol's hubs are about dating and getting your ex back. This sure sounds like a lot of spam to me and it is two months old!!!!!!!!  lol

  7. lizkalemera profile image60
    lizkalemeraposted 14 years ago

    My dear,
    its about two people [a two way traffic]
    do you want to hurt again?
    let him be

  8. profile image49
    getyourgirlfbackposted 13 years ago

    Stay away.

    Your desperation will come out, you'll do something you regret while you visit him, and you'll be mad at yourself.

    If you moved on, move out. 

    Avoid the pain, cut ALL ties, and forget him.

  9. profile image52
    Jack3posted 13 years ago

    I think you should follow your heart and give the guy another chance. As we all know, love is not something you can shutoff. The first time you met him, he could have been confused about what he wanted in life and now he might be seriously willing to give it another shot with you.

    The fact that he didn't take the initiative to contact you, may have something to do with the way he deals with things, such as a personality quirk, which can easily be misinterpreted.

    But what do I know, I'm just the new guy..

  10. profile image49
    louisa1975posted 13 years ago

    follow your hart huni but play it cool you don't want to be the one doing the running its much nicer some one running after you just drop a few hint and see what come back you get hope your dreams come true x

    1. profile image49
      louisa1975posted 13 years agoin reply to this
  11. Lady_E profile image65
    Lady_Eposted 13 years ago


    You posted this 10 months ago - give us an update whenever your back on HP. 

    Should we (in HP) be buying wedding hats to attend your Wedding?

  12. R P Chapman profile image60
    R P Chapmanposted 13 years ago

    All we can do is speculate, only you can decide. Might be an idea to let him make the moves though. If he's interested, he'll let you know. We're pretty simple creatures like that. smile

  13. lrohner profile image69
    lrohnerposted 13 years ago

    RUN....LIKE THE WIND!!!!!! Julie Ann hit it right on the head. You found him. He didn't find you. My Dad always told me -- first time shame on them. Second time, shame on you.

  14. privateye2500 profile image40
    privateye2500posted 13 years ago

    Being a P.I. One sentence or *clue* generally jumps right off the page at me - this one was.

      You said "I found out from my neice that he was in trouble..."

       You didn't elaborate on this at all.  There are allllll kinds of trouble to be in; so to answer this question properly, for me, that would be key to know.

      Also, you said you were "browsing facebook" - Last time I checked, you don't find people on facebook by *browsing* - ya kinda have to type their name in, don't you?

  15. rmcrayne profile image93
    rmcrayneposted 13 years ago

    This thread was posted 10 MONTHS AGO by Sheri, 0 hubs, 0 fans, 1 post (this one) and has been dead for 9 months, until someone dug it up 4 hours ago.  I’m guessing Sheri definitely pursued her Mr. Not Right Then and Not Right Now.  So she’s either having her Happily Ever After or wallowing in I’m So Needy Hell.

    1. Daniel Carter profile image65
      Daniel Carterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      LOL you are so on the money on this one!! Love it.

      1. privateye2500 profile image40
        privateye2500posted 13 years agoin reply to this

        Yep, I didn't look at the date - the funny thing was that the question popped up on the site of my hubpage, so I just *assumed* it was new.  That's what I get for *assuming* - and I KNOW better!  LOL

    2. profile image0
      Aquaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, Rose Mary you call them like you see them - I like that about you! smile

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