How can someone help their friend exercise/eat healthy without seeming rude?

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   Vieenroseposted 13 years ago

   How can someone help their friend exercise/eat healthy without seeming rude?
   
   I have a severely overweight friend who completely denies the issue..how can I help her become healthy? Note: I'm not trying to act better than her or seem mean. It's become an issue where she can't do activities she loves..i just want to help her.

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2. 58

   mio cidposted 13 years ago

   Well in my opinion  it's time for some tough love,I would confront her with reality as  tenderly as possible not to hurt her feelings but also in a firm and unwavering manner so she will see you are serious about it and this is a real health issue that will not be solved by ignoring it.

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3. 61

   Vieenroseposted 13 years ago

   Thank you for your response..yes i think it's time to approach her. I will be sure to focus on wording/body language to ensure that she won't be offended.

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4. 80

   Georgie Loweryposted 13 years ago

   I was in your friend's position not so long ago. It will basically come down to her needing to accept her situation. She is likely not in denial but is feeling very insecure about her weight. At least that's how I was. Any friends that suggested weight loss or offered tips to me then made me feel even more horrible about myself. With me, it was just like an addiction. I couldn't turn it around until I was ready to do it. If you've never been seriously overweight, there's no way you can know what it's like or what's going on in her head. Just let her know you love her.

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      Vieenroseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for your response! Yeah, i understand that it's complex & me telling her won't change anything unless she herself accepts it. I plan on giving her constant encouragement/support..just showing that I'm here for her.

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      Georgie Loweryposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      You can always make suggestions, like going on a hike or something that requires physical activity or inviting her to a healthy restaurant. Just don't tell her it's because she needs to lose weight. You'll risk her alienating you if you do.

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   Cara.Rposted 13 years ago

   You could invite her to do things with you that involve exercise. Ask her to go to the mall and walk around. Invite her over for dinner and you cook her a meal she likes but prepare it in a healthy way. But if she is not ready to admit that her weight is stopping her from doing things she once loved; then there is not much you can do until she is ready to face it. You can only be supportive and encouraging to a degree and the rest is up to her.

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      Vieenroseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks! I actually had a idea similar to yours (going shopping then inviting her over for dinner w/friends). I see what you're saying, even if i try to help, if she can't admit/accept then there really is nothing more to do...i will for sure support

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   duffsmomposted 13 years ago

   You can't.  You think she is in denial, but believe me she knows, she really does.  Nothing is more horrible than being told, in the name of love, that your body isn't what it should be.  If she is a living breathing person she already knows her weight is becoming a stumbling block.
   
   Be there for her, listen to her, support her and if she mentions wanting to lose weight or make changes, simply ask what you can do to help--let her know you will help her any way she will allow you to.
   
   Believe me, with obesity, she is mired in something that is dark and scary, but until she is ready to fight her way out of this pit--all you can do is love her for who she is and support any positive decisions she makes.

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      Georgie Loweryposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      This right here is the honest truth.

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      duffsmomposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, written from deep in the pit I mentioned above :-)

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      Georgie Loweryposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      It's damn hard to get out of that hole, but once you start climbing up it's worth it.

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      Vieenroseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Wow great answer..i never thought of it that way..that she might know but chooses to ignore. Yeah i'm gonna use some of suggestions listed above & just roll w/ it. The worst thing is, she gained weight suddenly, before she was so adventurous/live

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   5. 59

      duffsmomposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I'm sure giving it a try Georgie!  I am so thrilled that you have worked so hard and had success.  Inspiring.

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