What’s your favourite bad joke?

1. 61

   mrfluffyposted 13 years ago

   The one I love is 
   A white horse go’s in to a pub, the barman says we have a whisky names after you?
   The horse replies they named a whisky Eric?
   Dire I know your turn!

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2. 88

   WryLiltposted 13 years ago

   What did one casket say to the other casket?
   
   Is that you coffin'?
   
   What's yellow and can't swim?
   
   A bulldozer...

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   1. 60

      saleheensblogposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      fuuuuuuuuuuu

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3. 60

   couturepopcafeposted 13 years ago

   

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4. 60

   paradigmsearchposted 13 years ago

   .
   Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:

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5. 60

   paradigmsearchposted 13 years ago

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   1.  The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

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6. 60

   paradigmsearchposted 13 years ago

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   2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

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7. 60

   paradigmsearchposted 13 years ago

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   3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

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8. 60

   paradigmsearchposted 13 years ago

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   4. A dog's parents never visit.

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9. 60

   paradigmsearchposted 13 years ago

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   5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

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10. 60

    paradigmsearchposted 13 years ago

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    6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

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11. 60

    paradigmsearchposted 13 years ago

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    7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

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12. 60

    paradigmsearchposted 13 years ago

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    8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

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13. 60

    paradigmsearchposted 13 years ago

    9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"

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14. 60

    paradigmsearchposted 13 years ago

    10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

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15. 60

    paradigmsearchposted 13 years ago

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    11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

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16. 60

    paradigmsearchposted 13 years ago

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    12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

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17. 60

    paradigmsearchposted 13 years ago

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    13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

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18. 60

    paradigmsearchposted 13 years ago

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    14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

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19. 60

    paradigmsearchposted 13 years ago

    .
    The end.

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20. 58

    Alien invasionposted 13 years ago

    Some country hick walks into Harvard and asks a professor, "Yall know where the library's at?"
    
    The professor replies, "Here at Harvard we do not end our sentences in prepositions."
    
    The hick says, "Ok, Yall know where the library's at, A** Hole?"

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21. 61

    mrfluffyposted 13 years ago

    Excellent every one lol

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22. 61

    mrfluffyposted 13 years ago

    A man walks in to a bar
    Ouch!!!

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23. 60

    paradigmsearchposted 13 years ago

    I was thinking of bumping this one for the dog lovers, but you beat me to it.

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24. 80

    timorousposted 13 years ago

    A horse ambles into a bar.  Bartender says "Hey buddy, why such a long face?"

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    1. 61

       mrfluffyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Two lions are walking down Oxford Street in London. One looks to the other and says “it’s quiet here isn’t it”.

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25. 68

    Bill Manningposted 13 years ago

    Did you hear about the pony with a sore throat? Yeah, he was a little hoarse,,,,,

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26. 68

    Bill Manningposted 13 years ago

    A friend told me he has 3 wife's. Really I said? That must take a lot to do that. Yeah he said, it's awful big-of-me,,,

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27. 75

    Hugh Williamsonposted 13 years ago

    A guy walks into the doctor's office...
    
    Patient: "Doc, every time I drink coffee, I get a pain in my eye.
    
    Doctor: "Don't leave the spoon in the cup."

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28. 60

    Extinct Soulposted 13 years ago

    (just before christmas, apple and orange was on the fridge)
    
    apple: yiiiiii..iiiit's coooold in herrrre...
    
    orange: ohmagosh..the apple is talking!!
    
    

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29. 0

    jerrylposted 13 years ago

    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    
    To show the raccoons it could be done.

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30. 68

    Bill Manningposted 13 years ago

    My friend who works at the funeral home was telling me it's a tough job. Do those caskets weigh a lot I asked?
    
    Yeah they do he said,,, you know,,, all that dead weight,,,

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31. 90

    Urbane Chaosposted 13 years ago

    Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.
    
    It's horrible, I know.. after almost two weeks thinking about it I finally got it, and couldn't stop laughing.
    
    I know, I'm strange.

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    1. 66

       Ivorwenposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       I love that one.  My brother use to tell it all the time, and it was always funny watching peoples reactions. 

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    2. 80

       timorousposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       The first two men were talking on cellphones, the third guy wasn't.

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32. 66

    Ivorwenposted 13 years ago

    Where do you find a dog with no legs?
    
    
    
    Where ever you left him.

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33. 80

    timorousposted 13 years ago

    A sign in a funeral home reads:
    
    "Remains to be seen..."

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    1. 77

       Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Just funny bad joke coming from this one kid
       
       Why do women were perfume and make up
       
       Because they are ugly and smell bad

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34. 76

    brimancandyposted 13 years ago

    Two guys are walking down the side of the road and they see a German Sheppard licking itself. The one guy looks at the other and says "I wish I could do that." And the other guy says. "maybe if you are real nice and pet him first, he might let you."
    
    Next!
    
    A blonde is walking down the road and she sees another blonde in the middle of a cornfield in a rowboat. And, she stops and yells at her. "What the hell are you doing!" The other blonde replies. "I am trying to get to shore!"
    
    The blonde in the road says. "Oh you stupid bitch! You are giving all of us blondes a bad name! And, if I could swim I would come out there and kick your ass!"

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35. 0

    jerrylposted 13 years ago

    Ad in a newspaper
    
    Bulldog for sale.  House trained, good watch dog, cuddly,
    eats anything, especially fond of children.

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36. 0

    Toby Hansenposted 13 years ago

    A blonde phoned roadside assistance.
    The operator asked her what the problem was with her car.
    Well, she said, the indicators aren't working... now they are... now they aren't...

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37. 0

    jerrylposted 13 years ago

    Sign on a radiator repair shop.
    
    Best place in town to take a leak.

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