What are your thoughts on punishing your children?

1. 60

   Lupozeeposted 14 years ago

   Was watching a programme this morning regarding extreme parenting, where this woman would punish her children if they didnt get grades above B, and wouldn't let her children go out with their friends, she even punished her daughter because she didn't put effort in her mums birthday card!!! so she made her daughter do it properly....etc....
   
   What do think is the right way to punish your children? and should you put so much pressure on your children for them to get high grades?

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   1. 60

      Dave Mathewsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I definitely believe in punishing ones child. I believe the old addage; "Spare the rod spoil the child" is more than appropriate as well as any other punishment a parent might give so long as it is done in such a manner so as not to be done in anger, but out of love.
      Society today is far to permissive when it comes to child rearing. It is ludicrous that a child can charge a parent with abuse for a spanking. Children are being permitted to get away with far to much, simply because some bleeding heart who does'nt care care what their child does or how it acts, so long as they are not bothered, permits their child to get away with anything.
      As a child just the threat of a spanking was a deterent enough to prevent my doing a lot of things, and being made to do things right is helping a child to learn not to try and cut corners.
      My mom would cook oatmeal for me at breakfast in the morning. If I refused to eat it then, I got it for my lunch. If I still wouldn't eat it I got it for supper, till I ate it or I went hungry, and for a child to go hungry for a day is not harmful, but it teaches them to respect food.

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   2. 61

      Dr. Wendyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I think there is a difference between discipline and punishment, and when possible, discipline should be the method of choice.  We don't want to just coerce our children into behaving a certain way, but to teach them.  When punishment is needed, it should suit the crime, and never be abusive.

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   3. 77

      rocketjsquposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Punishment/discipline is a necessary consequence of inappropriate behavior.   Defining inappropriate behavior and the consequences for that behavior is the responsibility of every parent.  Once the expectations are clearly defined and understood, then it is the parents responsibility  to see that those consequences are carried out. 
      
      Having high expectations for your children to get high grades is a worthwhile standard to set.  However, I think it would be in the best interest of the child to understand the benefits and rewards of why you want them to have high grades.  Helping them to understand how good grades will benefit them in the future will work better to motivate them than just a "Because I said so" approach, or instilling fear of punishment if they don't.

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2. 69

   Vicki.Pierceposted 14 years ago

   I don't believe that the correct word would be 'punishment'.  I raised my kids by the fact that there are natural consequences to the choices they make.
   
   For example, if you don't get good grades in school you won't be getting into the college of your choice.
   
   I think that 'punishment' should be reserved for the things that truly would put a child at risk; such as running out into the road.

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3. 60

   sincerely25posted 14 years ago

   I believe in punishing a child. It teaches them right from wrong and later they will continue to punish their children.

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4. 71

   Ultimate Hubberposted 14 years ago

   If you punish them often then 'punishing' will lose its worth. The child will get used to it. One may only rarely punish their child.

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5. 60

   Lupozeeposted 14 years ago

   http://thismorning.itv.com/thismorning/ … ger-mother
   
   this is the programme that I was watching with an interview with the mother who punishes her children.
   
   she has a boo published called "battle hymn tiger mother" and its about how she used to punish her children and the methods she used.  she stresses that its not a parenting book but just a book about her experience.
   
   I agree there is a difference between punishment and discipline and as growing up we had both.  My punishment would be not being allowed out with my friends but I would get told off as they say if I spoke out of line or upset my little bro or sis.
   
   I have a 7 month old baby and my husband and I are starting to discuss discipline because I dont want him to rule the roost at the end of the day we are the parents.

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6. 55

   Dame Scribeposted 14 years ago

   I am fortunate to have happy children. I don't agree with imposing one's will on a child. A child should be allowed freedom to express themself whether thru play, art, etc. I am more the gentle parent. My children learned early to respect mom. I sent them to their room or made them write lines, apologize, please and thank you. There are different styles of parenting with different outcomes.

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