Marriage advice?

1. 63

   Greek Oneposted 12 years ago

   why are you unhappy?
   
   have you talked to your husband?
   
   Were you ever 'in love' with him, and why did that change?
   
   Marriage itself, the very act of getting married, can cause stress.

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   1. 0

      saymlizposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Deleted
      1. 63

         Greek Oneposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         you probably know the answer.. but have to make sure that you aren't just reacting due to nervousness or stress...
         
         the only way to figure that out is to take a deep breath and try to keep talking to him, with or with the help of a third party.
         
         If you can be honest with him about your feelings and fears, or try to be and he won't listen no matter how hard you try, then you know you have to take the next steps to show him the seriousness of you concerns.

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   2. 94

      incomeguruposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      If you have happy home, you'll strongly believe that with a good working marriage, it's not that stressful as most people thought.

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2. 84

   psycheskinnerposted 12 years ago

   Another person joining just to lament a romantic situation in the forums?  This is getting... odd.

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   1. 0

      saymlizposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      that was a little rude.
      I am new and don't actually know what this site is.
      
      I googled a question and this website came up with some other similar questions and it was forum based.... so I figured I'd ask my own.
      
      If you didn't like the question, you didn't have to answer.

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      1. 74

         WriteAngledposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         What is causing the confusion here is that this is a site for people who want to publish articles (hubs) about diverse topics. The question area of the site was set up, as far as I understand, to generate ideas for potential hubs.
         
         People who are active on the forum here are mainly people who create hubs. This is not a general forum.

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         1. 0

            saymlizposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            oh, see... I didn't know that....
            
            Sorry for my mistake.
            

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            1. 74

               WriteAngledposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               Heh, heh, since I have been through two toxic marriages and two other relationships, each lasting 10+ years, most people will reckon I am the wrong person to give advice.
               
               I spent decades of my life frightened about being alone, which is why I made the mistakes I did, mainly because I compromised too much. I have finally discovered, at a very late stage, that being alone is, for me, the most satisfying way to live my life.
               
               So I feel it is important to walk away from a toxic relationship. As I said, though, many would disagree. Also, you say you love this person, which means you are still feeling some confusion about the matter.

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   2. 73

      Richieb799posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I suppose it doesn't happen that often, although I know what your saying. Maybe it will encourage people to start writing at the same time?

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3. 60

   knolyourselfposted 12 years ago

   "But I am MORTIFIED and what people will say and think since we've only been married for a few months. Especially our parents who put a ton of money into the wedding."
   What other people think controls your life. Used to be called 'keeping up with the Joneses'. The question is: what do you think? But then that's the hard part.

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   1. 61

      Hollie Thomasposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I get this, the thing is, whatever you think will not go away. I've had two toxic marriages and been alone since 2002. I wouldn't change it for the world. I've come to understand my self very well, I'm fiercely independent and not willing to completely share my life with another, those marriages were doomed from the outset. For me, marriage is conformity. I love my single life.

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4. 60

   knolyourselfposted 12 years ago

   "I love my single life." is what you think. I am living alone for the first time in my life. 'Interference free' seems to be what I think. Still it is a bit lonely.

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   1. 61

      Hollie Thomasposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I don't know how long you have lived alone for, but, you kind of have to acclimatize to single life, too. Just like you have to learn to live with someone. Single life works well for me, but we're all individuals, it's not for everyone. I'd just say give it time.

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   2. 74

      WriteAngledposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Well, after more than 30 years of living in relationships, I am delighting in living alone!
      
      Interference-free - definitely! Freedom to be what I am and do what I want to do without having to consult anyone about whether this is acceptable.
      
      Lonely - not in the least.
      
      It depends on the individual. If someone feels too scared to live on their own, they will need to develop a relationship and make the necessary compromises. If another person makes personal freedom their main criterion, they will probably be happiest on their own.
      
      There is no point in pontificating about one's own situation, because different people will have different experiences.

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5. 60

   Disturbiaposted 12 years ago

   The only marriage advice I have is to not do it, and I've been married enough times to know what I'm talking about... LOL.

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6. 0

   Home Girlposted 12 years ago

   For every fruit there is a season...

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