How many times have you been married?

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   katiem2posted 14 years ago

   How many times have you been married and what's the best advice you could give to someone on the subject?
   
   Thanks and Peace

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      kimberlyslyricsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      four

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   ediggityposted 14 years ago

   Just once.  Wait for God to give you your soul mate.  Hope your foot feels better.

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      katiem2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks feeling much better... Peace

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   SomewayOuttaHereposted 14 years ago

   working on number 6.  it gets too expensive - so not sure if I'll go through with it this time.

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      katiem2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I don't think were all cut out for this marriage thing... Peace

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         SomewayOuttaHereposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         i'm just teasing.  only once...doubt i'll do it again though...maybe live together or maybe not, but not marriage.....legally it's the same thing anyway...

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            SomewayOuttaHereposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            oh yea advice - be best friends, lovers, all of those good things...and if you can make it through the bad times..most times it'll make you stronger together....my marriage didn't make it through the toughest time of my life...it's complicated.

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               katiem2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Whew you had me going there....

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                  SomewayOuttaHereposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  ........and never go to bed without resolving issues.....the small stuff that can become bigger the next day because you didn't get rid of it the night before......unless of course it is some major thing that can't be resolved over nite.
                  
                  (my def. of small stuff will vary from some others however)

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   Justine76posted 14 years ago

   once, I have no good advice right now. I guess....
   
   be realistic. make sure you truly know the person before you get married. be honest.

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      katiem2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Cool how long have you been married?

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         Rafiniposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I think the number of times and the length of time for marriage are irrelevent.  But I do agree with Justine - make sure you truly know the person before you get married, and be realistic enough to be honest with yourself and the person you think you want to marry.

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            katiem2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Thanks

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   Originposted 14 years ago

   I've never been married, so I guess I don't have any advice.

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      katiem2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Origin, that's advice, thanks...

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   Rishy Richposted 14 years ago

   I havent got married yet. Is there any single female here who wants to marry a sarcastic, skeptical but cute looser?

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      SomewayOuttaHereposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      depends...........wearing any yet?

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         Rishy Richposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Sorry, I forgot to mention that I can b dumb sometimes ...depends on wht?

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   Daniel Carterposted 14 years ago

   Twice for me. A total of 24 years. 23 the first time and 1 yr the second. I've learned you have to be the answer instead of looking into others to find it.When you become the answer, you attract someone like you. Then you can give each other the gift of self, without a lot of demands and drama.
   
   I'm still working on being the answer to my own happiness, problems, etc. But I feel better overall about most things. There are good people in my life. The toxic ones are disappearing. They've finally gotten tired of their demands falling on deaf ears.

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      katiem2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Daniel, so glad to hear it!  Oh the power of turn the other cheek...quietly!  Peace

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      ilmdamailyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I freaking love that answer Daniel.
      
      Good work.

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   itechposted 14 years ago

   Not a single time! But reached that stage!!!
   Offers are coming for me to my grandpa...

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      katiem2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Really ?  Cool. 

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   Ben Evansposted 14 years ago

   I think two people need to find happiness as opposed to differences.  Being able to say what we need and communicate it to each other helps keep differences from occuring.
   
   I am happy with my beautiful wife and encourage others to be happy also.

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      katiem2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Nice Thanks...

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    lxxyposted 14 years ago

    NONE!
    
    And I hope to keep it that way. Don't need a license to fall madly in love with my soul mate.

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       katiem2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I like it...

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    Cagsilposted 14 years ago

    Nope! Never been married.

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    Greek Oneposted 14 years ago

    Just once....
    
    and because it's been less than 2 years, not sure my advice would be useful....
    
    but I would say that people should get married only after they have experienced a little bit of the highs and lows of life as a single person...
    
    and that one should not get married because they assume all of their problems and challenges will simply go away.

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       katiem2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Very good Greek One! 

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    myownworldposted 14 years ago

    Once bitten.... and still married!
    
    My advice: One should not get married too young...or in a reckless moment. Though when you're in love and feelings run high, it all feels so 'right' then that there is just no stopping you!
    
    You are just not the same person in your 30s, that you are in your 20s...so it's wise to at least wait till your personality is slightly more mature....and you're surer of who you are - let alone the person you're about to marry!

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       charanjeet kaurposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Lol MOW, I wish my parents read this. lol I would never get married in my early twenties.
       
       Coming to the thread topic, married once and will stick with this guy till death do us apart.
       
       My piece of advice- Life is never a bed of roses, try not to search perfection and you will end up happy. Nobody is perfect, fill in for one anothers imperfections and you will have a smooth sailing all along.

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       katiem2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Great advice thanks,

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    SarahLambertposted 14 years ago

    Married 15 years and the only thing I can say is respect your spouse even when you don't agree, the beds not made and the kids are screaming...

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       katiem2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       good point.

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    USMCwifey09posted 14 years ago

    married once, but were really close friends for five years before hand. it's definitely helped our relationship. advice? how would you treat your best friend? if this is the person you plan on staying with til death do you part...then respect and communication will get you far.

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       katiem2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Ah very nice

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    wildernessposted 14 years ago

    Married once, for 34 years following a 45 day courtship.
    
    Advice - not much except a married couple is a COUPLE, not two married singles.  Hurting a spouse, through words or actions is like spanking a child - it hurts you more than the child.  The couple cannot he happy if one is unhappy with a decision - if you win an argument you just lost it.  A couple is one person with two bodies; if you don't want that don't get married.
    
    Not to say couples cannot have different likes.  I sit with my spouse and watch the dumb movies she likes; I enjoy the time with her.  She does the same for me.  We learned to compromise on everything - seldom indeed does one get everything they want.  Be willing to change, but never demand it of your spouse.
    
    Marriage is a learning experience; to survive both parties must learn to please the other more than themselves.  Having a soulmate for life is the most rewarding thing possible, but it does take effort.

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       katiem2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Thank YOU!

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    Fluffymetalposted 14 years ago

    once for 3 years

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       katiem2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       You go girl

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    LeanManposted 14 years ago

    Only once at a time, but done it more than once....
    
    If you feel that something is wrong, but you are sure that you can get the other person to change, forget it!!!! Don't do it.. It is almost impossible to change someone...

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       katiem2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Oh I know who ever came up with the plan of changing others?  WACKY!  Thanks

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    prettydarkhorseposted 14 years ago

    married once, lasted for 6 years  -- always give it your best -- love yourself more!

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    TLMinutposted 14 years ago

    Once for about 15 years. There are a lot of broken men out there, hideous things experienced by little boys will show up eventually. Make sure the guy can talk about his childhood and other life experiences that have impacted him. You have to really know someone well before you have children with them. If you can't have children, the story is different and it might still be okay, you can help someone when you love them.

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    Bill Manningposted 14 years ago

    Never have, never will.

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       katiem2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Exactly what I say...

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          EmpressFelicityposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          And me.  Two long-term live-in relationships, but I've never been married.
          
          I have a real problem with the whole idea of marriage.  It's a contract, but one with a lot of unwritten small-print - like a lot of social exchanges, but magnified a hundred times over.
          
          I think the only time I would ever think about tying the knot is if my husband-to-be was financially better off than me and I needed a legal safety net in case things went pear-shaped.  Sounds horrible and mercenary I know, but that's my take on it.

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       andromidaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Congrats!!!!!

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    andromidaposted 14 years ago

    Just once, no idea what happens in future.

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    Rochelle Frankposted 14 years ago

    Once. Going on 48 years. My parents were married for 60.

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       katiem2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Thats fantastic!  Congrats

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    torimariposted 14 years ago

    Zero

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       katiem2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       

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    TLMinutposted 14 years ago

    My parents have been married for 53 years - I think they only knew each other a short time before they married. They both have stories of how they went back to friends and family and said they met the one they were going to marry.

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       katiem2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Thats a nice story, thanks

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    LeanManposted 14 years ago

    Sounds strange, but be selfish! Think of your own health and mental well being first.. If the other cannot respect your beliefs and wants then you should not be together..

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       katiem2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Oh I like that, a lot of people bend over backwards in the beginning and once married realize they can't live that way then all ... h e double tooth picks breaks loose...

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    ilmdamailyposted 14 years ago

    Married once, for a year. It was more than enough.
    
    We only saw each other 3 times before we married, and it was 11 weeks from the day we met til the wedding day, so it was the ultimate crap shoot.
    
    That's the thing with gambling though - you lose more than you win.
    
    I don't regret it though. There was the odd good time in there...and I still totally heart myself that I had the guts to marry someone I hardly knew. Yay me.
    
    Advice? If you want to make it work, then MAKE IT WORK - do whatever it takes. If you don't, then don't f**k around - do what's got to be done and get on with healing. Don't carry the other person's negativity around with you.
    
    ...and lighten up - none of this stuff *actually* matters;-)

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    wrenfrost56posted 14 years ago

    None, I'm a very difficult person to be with.

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       katiem2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Join the ranks.

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    NightEmpressposted 14 years ago

    I'm single.

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    dinkan53posted 14 years ago

    My advice on this subject is "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ( By Mignon McLaughlin). It's not the matter how many times you are married but the one you do must be a successful one.

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       katiem2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Nice

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    Pcunixposted 14 years ago

    Once.  It will be 43 years on July 11th.
    
    She is my best friend and my most honest wish is that we die together so neither of us has to suffer losing the other.
    
    We have our fights and disagreements but I would be lost without her.  She has made me a better person, she has raised two wonderful children, I love her cooking and she is the cutest thing I ever laid eyes on.

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    Mutiny92posted 14 years ago

    just once.  I can barely afford one wife.  I have no idea how I would afford more than one!

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       katiem2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       lol, sorry I feel ya

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    jondavposted 14 years ago

    once - never again !

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       katiem2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I heard that....

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    pisean282311posted 14 years ago

    not married yet..advice ..do get married atleast once..hey but let me put into practice b4 i preach

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    ralwusposted 14 years ago

    3 times and Marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.

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       pisean282311posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       

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       Jeramiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Yep   What you said....
       Me ..four times ..  one divorce
       
         When they end they are very expensive either financially or emotionally or both.

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    Disturbiaposted 14 years ago

    I've been married 5 times and the best advice I could give anyone is don't do it, unless of course, it's for the money... then go ahead, knock yourself out... and make sure you get a good pre-nup. LOL!
    
    But if you're getting married for love, lust, looks, or whatever else besides the big bucks... don't do it, don't do it, don't do it. 
    
    Stay single, play the field, date, enjoy, and don't tie yourself down to anyone... fly free little bird.
    
    Doesn't matter how charming, how beautiful, how wonderful you think they are... they are never really what they seem and neither are you, and nothing ever turns out like you thought it would, and there you are stuck with Mr./Mrs. Not-So-Wonderful.
    
    Of course, there are some couples who were just made for each other and are true soul mates. But I don't know any of those people.

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    Instgtrposted 14 years ago

    1st Marriage - 5 years
    2nd Marriage - 6 months
    3rd Marriage - 17 years
    4th Marriage - 7 years (actually the first girl I ever dated back in high school...)
    
    Advice - Seperate bathrooms!!!
    
    Real Advice - Before you get married, make SURE you can accept the person EXACTLY the way they are...  (because you will NEVER be able to change them, or get them to change - which isn't to say they won't change, it's just something YOU will have absolutely no control over...)

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       Mishaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Decent advice, I agree. Second marriage here

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    WaffleCheeseposted 14 years ago

    I've been married once. Recently too.
    
    My advice is to keep your problems between yourselves and bring no one into your relationship.
    
    It's work and it's work that's worth it.
    
    Do not give 50% and expect 50% return. Both need to put 100% into it.
    
    Always kiss goodnight and say I love you.
    
    COMMUNICATION!
    
    You have to be open to your best friend and not be afraid of consequences. Selfishness and Apathy are ways to Lawyers and Alimony.

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