Detailed feedback sought.

1. 77

   TFScientistposted 12 years ago

   I have been here for 8 days and am really enjoying myself thus far. I am keen to make my hubs the very best possible and as such I would like some specific feedback on how to improve my writing, topics or content, or how I can modulate advertisements.
   
   Let me know what you think:
   http://tfscientist.hubpages.com/hub/Wha … Cell-Death
   
   I anticipate your responses, Happy New Year!

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   1. 89

      Judi Beeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Welcome to HubPages.  I am new myself, so bear in mind that I am not writing my response from a position of great authority.  Here goes anyway:
      
      Your hub is well-written and reasonably understandable to a lay person.  It sits well with your other hubs and you have provided links to the series.  The layout is fine, to my eyes anyway.
      
      What I wonder about is whether it will get traffic.  I don't know, I haven't researched the keywords in this area, perhaps you did and they are words that get good traffic and don't have a lot of competition.
      
      Make sure that your capsule headings use your keywords - yours is "Cells Gone WIld!" which is catchy, but sadly the Search Engines don't get catchy, they like keywords in titles.  I used to do the same thing myself - I have stopped!  SImilarly, for "Where Next?" I would amend it to "Where Next for (Keywords)?" and same for "Knowledge is Power" and "Some Background". 
      
      This may seem repetitive and possibly even jarring, but from what I have gathered, the Search Engines like it.
      
      Your "Background" capsule is good with the link put in, but you could replace it with an RSS capsule which would update any relevant hubs you have.  So, if you label all your associated hubs with a "cancer" tag, copy your RSS feed and put  /cancer/ into the feed.  Automatic updates to your hubs. 
      
      Also, don't forget to promote your hubs - put links in Twitter etc.
      
      Hope that helps.

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      1. 77

         TFScientistposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         That is some excellent advice - just of the vein I was looking for. I will go back and edit some section headings and play about with RSS. Thanks for your input!

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2. 60

   JBBlackposted 12 years ago

   I hope you're asking me to be very picky!  I can't help with the traffic of the tags or advertising, but I can bully you a bit about the way you are writing.  Know that, unless you asked for it, I would have read right past some of the things I am going to complain about.
   
   I noticed that you going back and forth between personal and impersonal pronouns (? possessive and personal).  I get the sense of academic impersonality and the injection of self into it when you refer to your previous hubs and your studies.
   
   The third paragraph says we shall, we shall, we will.  Dangerously bordering repetition as a rhetorical device and expressive simplicity.  (God that sounds rude.)
   
   The fourth paragraph, when introducing the quote, instead of we must, perhaps you could say one must, or it is centrally important or some such stuff.
   
   The next part about key stages flows very well and I have no complaints about it.  Would add a couple periods here and there.
   
   Try to find alternate ways of making sentences without pronouns to avoid sounding repetitive.  (Edited from: I would try to find a way to say the same thing without pronouns.)
   
   Maybe even pull out all the about the author stuff, although it does tend to give your words authority.  Just give pure information and add an about the offer blurb at the end.

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3. 77

   TFScientistposted 12 years ago

   Hi JBBlack,
   
   Thanks for your specific feedback. I have looked carefully through the post and see what you mean. I have changed a few things thanks to your suggestions, and am going to go back through my previous posts to make similar improvements.
   
   Thanks again!

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