Checking my progress...

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   Cre8torposted 12 years ago

   The last time (first time) I asked for help, I received some very good feedback. I've now been here a month and would like to see if I'm improving. Please review this hub and let me know what you think. This one is close to my heart so pull no punches. I also will not be making a habit of this so would like this to be a strong critique...no "newbie" sympathy, K? Thank you.
   
   
   http://cre8tor.hubpages.com/hub/Wags-4- … est-Friend
   
   PS - Please ignore my hubber score. I don't want this to mislead and the last time I came to a forum, the only thing that was spoken about was the score and NO helpful information was given on the suggestion I'd made. Thank you in advance for this courtesy.

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      Website Examinerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      In fact, I did respond pointedly to your suggestion that day, and you thanked me for it. I am sorry if, upon further reflection, you have decided that you did not find my feedback helpful. Alas, let me leave the stage to my fellow Hubbers.
      
      http://hubpages.com/forum/post/1981252
      
      http://hubpages.com/forum/post/1981413

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      1. 93

         Cre8torposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         I'm sorry I'd forgotten about you WE. As you know, you were I believe the only one. At least without prompting. My sincere apologies. I hope you'll accept and offer me your opinion as I've come to value it.

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   Website Examinerposted 12 years ago

   I accept. It was a very confusing thread for sure. The hub has a good length, and interesting formatting with images and side-by-side capsules. It does appear to be thoughtfully written and in a clear language, for the most part. I did notice some spelling and punctuation errors. Also, it is my sense that the hub can become more polished - especially if you find ways to smoothen some of the transitions.

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      Cre8torposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for taking  a look and forgiving my oversight. Not to be further trouble but if you would offer me one example of the transitions you speak of, I would be eternally greatful.

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         Website Examinerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         You are welcome. Here is one rough transition that I noticed: "...This is warmly welcomed by the vets as many of the medications are strong and can cause extreme lethargia. Why is canine therapy so successful? Perhaps it would help to understand what the service dogs can be trained to do."
         
         Can you see how you are talking about two different topics within the same paragraph? The last two sentences are part of a new issue, but preceded by a lengthy paragraph. Putting them in their own, new paragraph - possibly expanding them to give a bit more context - would help smoothen the transition, thereby better preparing the reader for what comes next.

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            Cre8torposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Yes. I see. Especially when going back and reading it in context. Thank you again WE. This one is a bit more than a hub to me.

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               Cre8torposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               This is warmly welcomed by the vets as many of the medications are strong and can cause extreme lethargia.
               
               Why is canine therapy so successful? To the individuals involved, the reasons would vary by personal experience and need. It would be difficult to argue that unconditional affection doesn't play its part in them all. On a more practical note, perhaps it would help to understand what the service dogs can be trained to do.
               
               Better?

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                  Website Examinerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  Yes, better, but let us not make things more complicated than necessary. If I were your editor, I would write:
                  
                  "Why is canine therapy so successful? To the individuals involved, the reasons will vary by personal experience and need. There is no point in arguing that unconditional affection doesn't play its part in them all. In practical terms, perhaps it would be helpful to understand exactly what the service dogs can be trained to do."
                  
                  Feel free to use it, or not, as you wish.

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                     Cre8torposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                     Okay. I can see your points. Would you like to be my editor? :-)
                     
                     Well, I'm being pulled away but thank you once more for your help. It is much appreciated.

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