The faith of a wicked stepmom

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   DeeSposted 16 years ago

   Hi all,
   
   I just started my first Hubpage entitled wicked stepmom: (http://hubpages.com/hub/wickedstepmom).
   
   I was previously married for six years and after that a single mother for two years before I met my husband and we became a blended family. He has two daughters (11 and 2) I have one (6), I am now experiencing the dilemmas that a blended family faces everyday.
   How you go from living life as “the best mom in the world…EVER” to the “wicked stepmom”; am I not the same person?
   
   I hope that by sharing my experiences with other we can all find we are not alone, share ideas and most of all have the ability to laugh at some of the situations and survive them!

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      Lisa Petrarcaposted 16 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Dee,
      
      I have been married for eight years now and know very well the "wicked stepmom" issue, especially when there's a daughter involved.  We have 6 kids together (5 boys and 1 girl), I have three boys and he has a daughter and two boys)- the Brady Bunch family.  I wrote a Hub on this topic because I went through some very difficult times.  We have survived and we all have a great relationship now...but I definitely had some learning and growing to do throughout the whole process.  In my Hub I have listed some tried and true steps that will definitely help make things a little easier.
      
      Good Luck,
      
      Lisa
      
      

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   chrissy86posted 16 years ago

   hi--i'm not in that situate now but was-   I got along great with the 2 kids did everything with them and was really startring to bond  but then the daughter  started to not listen and well was a terror she was 9 did everything she could to make things bad  .  then i found out her mom was a little jelous and turned her against me--i really thought that was sad and also very selfish. she was the one who wanted a divorse from the guy i was dating but then i came along and  she couldnt handle that even though she was living with someone else   go figure!!
   but good luck!!

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3. 60

   DeeSposted 16 years ago

   Hi Crissy,
   
   It sounds very familiar... his oldest daughter will be 11 end o April, a difficult age in itself but indeed mom doesn't make things easier.
   She feels the pressure between her wish to like me and the pressure of being loyal to her mom.
   To me what amazed me the most at first was the fact that this 9/10 year old kid can actually have the power to break my wedding.
   At the end of the day, she will be a kid and do what kids do, her mom will do and say whatever she wants, I can't change them. How me and my husband deal with the issues is truly what will make or break our relationship.
   
   Hope you have found a better relationship now!

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4. 59

   mohinishposted 16 years ago

   hi, i won't be able to tell you anything on "wiked step mom", (culture difference-we don't see any here).
   All i can say is what budha said "jealousy can be won by love" &  it's true i've personel experience in it.

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   DeeSposted 16 years ago

   That's good advice, one that I already try to follow! Thanx

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6. 40

   privateye2500posted 16 years ago

   How you go from living life as “the best mom in the world…EVER” to the “wicked stepmom”; am I not the same person?
   
   ==============
   
   Hon - yep, you sure are mainly the same person.  The thing is the other children have *issues*...usually a lot of them and they are magnified by the fact they are *at that age* - sigh.
   
   There could be 100 reasons why they are *viewing you this way* - my *guess* - from lack of info on your specific situation is this and it's pretty generic.
   
   They want their mom to be with their dad - not you.
   
   They learn fast how to *play both ends agains the middle* and that works very very well for kids whos divorced parents don't get along - don't parent the same or down right hate each other.
   
   Fear - kids have piles of it and it leaks out in strange ways - they don't feel safe anymore (if they ever did) ...
   
   There are so many - like I said these are GENERIC reasons as I know NOTHING about your situation.
   
   I DO know however that children, especially tweens and teenagers will pull every string they can to see how far it will stretch before it breaks -- and I also know how HARD it is not to take it personally!
   
   For sure...you are NOT alone!  :}
   
   Best of all - Melanie

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