Stalking on Facebook

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   Cardisaposted 12 years ago

   Has anyone here on Hubpages experienced being stalked on Facebook or anywhere else on the net? How serious was it? What did you do? Are you scared to use FB now?
   
   Currently I am experienced a bit of a stalking situation. Usually it's males that tend to stalk me but now it's a female. I have no problem with lesbians but she is freaking me out. Please do not use this thread to bash or discriminate gays or I will have you reported to the moderators. This thread is for friendly discussion about stalking.
   
   This is the situation. I play Zynga poker everyday. That game has taken me through a rough patch and I play it to relax and not having to think about my grief. I have had many men hit on em in the poker rooms. When she started hitting on me I didn't take it seriously but recently I began to feel really weird as she would follow me to every table, even when I am playing in the tournaments. She even tries to talk to me even when she is not sitting at a table. Her conversations are consistently sexual even though I made it clear that I am not interested in women.
   
   Please feel free to leave a comment, and please be nice.

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2. 60

   LindaSmith1posted 12 years ago

   For one thing, reporting her to FB probably is useless. The next step is to change your privacy settings where you control who can do what where you are concerned. I don't play those games, so i don't have problems.  Also, if you can,, block her.

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      Cardisaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Linda. The thing is that she is not a Facebook friend. We met in the game room.

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      1. 0

         Motown2Chitownposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         You know, Cardisa, even though she isn't your FB friend, you may still find relief through blocking her.  If she has a FB page, block her.  That should keep her from being able to find you or to see you in a game that's sponsored on FB.
         
         Good luck.
         
         

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            Cardisaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Thanks Mowtown, I will do that. I have blocked other people but didn't do anything about this one. The worse case was yesterday so I had to sign out.

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3. 85

   Faith Reaperposted 12 years ago

   Yes, I have, and have had to learn the hard way.  Thankfully, a woman's intuitiion will kick in eventually, as you say, and you will begin to feel "weird."  I have had to change my own personal e-mail to not have my own real name appear for those to see, and just tell my closet friends, "it's me."  Once you realize something is a litle strange, and attempt to cut-off the conversation, it has been my experience really bad things all of a sudden begin to happen . . . It starts out as if that person may just be a great encourager . . . then your home computer gets hacked into, someone is searching your background, your credit has been compromised, and you start receiving unknown cell phone calls that do no identify the caller and where you are not able to return the call.  So, I can understand why a lot do not use their true photo on FB or elsewhere on the net.

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   1. 90

      Cardisaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I started using my real photo in order to gain some sort of place as a writer but I see I will have to change that. I change my FB photo yesterday since it seems to always start with "how beautiful you are". I am thinking of changing the Google+ one as well. I may even change the HP avatar if I continue to feel this way.

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      1. 85

         Faith Reaperposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Yes, I have all my settings private or just friends, but when one goes out into those games or wherever, then that can open up a can of worms no doubt. I do not play any games, just do not have time.  But it can happen in a lot of areas where you really just don't think about it.  I really don't want to say where, for fear of . . . but you would be very surprised where all this can begin to happen. And it does start out just as you say here.

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4. 60

   LindaSmith1posted 12 years ago

   Motown says it. Try to find her FB page and block her. She does not have to be a friend for you to block her.

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5. 68

   Pearldiverposted 12 years ago

   Consider that it may well be Male using a Female entity to help break down the initial barriers!
   Get their IP address if you can or get them to contact you via another venue that records IP addresses - all websites do but you may need to approach management to collect it for you if you don't have your own site....
   When you have their IP address you have their location, even though they may use a proxy... good luck.. kick his butt! 

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   1. 90

      Cardisaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Pearldiver, I did ask her jokingly if she was a guy and she was offended...lol...based on things she says I think she is a girl but I did consider her pic a disguise.
      
      If this continues, I can report it to the FBI. During my research I found out that they have an avenue for making such reports, I did write a hub about it yesterday.

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6. 78

   psycheskinnerposted 12 years ago

   I would suggest reporting this to Facebook. I had a non-sexual (hostile) harassment situation and they closed the users account. I haven't heard from that person since.

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   1. 90

      Cardisaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I will block the person and see if that prevents them from seeing me. I think there is a way to block someone in the games room as well.

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7. 83

   rebekahELLEposted 12 years ago

   Once you step out of your private settings, you're fair game to stalking.  And they are everywhere.

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   1. 90

      Cardisaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I am going to adjust those settings as well.

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8. 90

   Cardisaposted 12 years ago

   I took all the suggestions and did something. I hope they work because I love playing poker and don't want to stop. It's the only game I really like playing and it helps me relax and get my mind of stuff. I have friends in the poker room as well I hope me blocking her will be enough.

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9. 56

   Dame Scribeposted 12 years ago

   Yes, I had a stalker who friended all my friends and sent out nasty emails had the police locate him and give the 'cease and desist' order or else. It is annoying The police do get access to FB once a report is made. Not sure how it works but a cool service from FB I think

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   1. 90

      Cardisaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      DS, I am sure glad that was resolved. I redid all my settings. I don't think I will be bothered by that person again. I am also wary of the people who I befriend on FB. I have decided that only people whom I know from HP, friends and family will I accept so have been ignoring strangers lately.

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10. 28

    muzammilo42posted 12 years ago

    Don't you like you are special and people stalking you ? they can't harm you so enjoy it .

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    1. 90

       Cardisaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       That is a ridiculous response. There are other ways to harm someone than being physical. Stalking is an unwanted, excessive and obsessive interest in someone. How can I enjoy something that is having a negative emotional and mental impact on me?
       
       I will be asking staff to close this forum thread. This response has upset me.

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11. 60

    LindaSmith1posted 12 years ago

    I would like to reply to muzammilo
    
    Do you know how dangerous stalking is.  Let me make it easy for you.  I watched a news cast from reputable show who showed a mom, after they showed up  at her door, with personal information about her teen daughter, including the address which is where the family lived. They never called mom in advance, They showed up using the information they found. It took them 5 minutes to find all information they needed. Kids are committing suicide from the bully/stalking on Facebook. 
    The  news crew wanted to show this family how important it was to monitor computer use, and how easy it was for a total stranger to find out where you live, and other personal information about you. Stalking, bullying, harrassment through the use of a computer is not a game and is to be taken seriously.

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12. 90

    Cardisaposted 12 years ago

    Thanks Linda! Really appreciate the response. I was upset at the naivety of the person.

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    LindaSmith1posted 12 years ago

    I watched a crime show, where a 14 year old, was lured to Greece from the USA by someone who was in his 30's on the same social network. She had no passport, I.D. but the perp had a chain of people who picked her up and got her on a plane to Greece. Fortunately, some are in prison now, and mom has her daughter home.  The girl was abused. This was part of his human trafficking business to use these girls to make money for him. Yes, it is very serious. Yes we have kids who get on and do stupid things, make stupid comments, but then what if it is a nut case doing it and not a prankster.

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