Can you Help proofread my article - More Than One India - Racism

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   Colin Sydneyposted 6 years ago

   Hi,
   I tried to proofread my own article but as mostly everyone knows, it is not really all that helpful. So i was hoping that someone could help correct any grammar or spelling mistakes that i might have made. The link to the article is https://hubpages.com/politics/More-than … dia-Racism

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   1. 97

      theraggededgeposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Hi there,
      
      Interesting article.
      
      As well as the grammatical issues (get it proofread, they are fairly minor), you need to break up the text into more text capsules. This gives you the opportunity to use keywords in sub-headings.
      
      Also add one or two relevant and legal images.
      
      I would suggest not bracketing the LGBT community with cows. Separate them.
      
      Hope that helps.

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         Colin Sydneyposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you for the feedback. I really appreciate it.

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   pen promulgatesposted 6 years ago

   Hi
   
   Interesting article.
   
   Some suggestions:
   Remove this from the first line
   
   In the sentence, 'With the north mostly being populated by more fair skinned people and down south and even in the east, the skin tone is darker.' I don't think 'with'  is required. Secondly, the main verbs are not in the same tense, so the reading is difficult.
   What if you change to, 'The north mostly has people with fair skin tone whereas the south and the east have inhabitants with a dark skin color.
   
   In history, a sentence is ' They invaded the northern plains and they either killer or enslaved most of the Indus Valley people'
   Shouldn't the verb be 'killed?'
   
   In racism section, the sentence 'Unfortunately some of the attacks did happened in the South.' has wrong grammar. It should be did happen not did happened.
   
   In conclusion, 'People who travel to India thinks of it as a paradise' it should be People think nor thinks.
   
   Hope these help.
   
   P.S: your views must be right. But in cities like Mumbai, discrimination doesn't exist.

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3. 67

   Colin Sydneyposted 6 years ago

   Thank you! That was helpful.
   I am guessing that you are not a South Indian though. Because it doesn't matter how big a city is in India. The Indian mindset doesn't change. There might be less racism in a city like Mumbai but that doesn't mean that it doesn't exist.

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4. 83

   AshutoshJoshi06posted 6 years ago

   As mentioned in previous comment. You have used a single text capsule. You might want to seperate the major sub heads into seperate text capsules.
   Use some images with proper attributes.
   
   Read out the text and you'll be able to find more errors that you can rectify.
   "....the white useless white female", do correct that.
   
   All the best!!
   I do have my reservations for the content of this hub, I'll leave a comment.

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      Colin Sydneyposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for the help.
      I read your comment and for some reason i can't reply on your comment. It is weird, but i was able to reply to comments yesterday but today there is no link which says reply.
      Anyway, you should write a hub with your counter point.I am writing this as a south indian who has faced discrimination. Discrimination not just in India by but outside of India. It has gotten to a point where i stay away from the indian community like a plague.
      I did not tell anyone not to go to India. But i would rather the world really know what India is. It is a country where religious freedom doesn't exist anymore, it is a country where people are lynched in the street because of a whatsapp message, or men are killed in their homes for beef related crimes. I want the world to know what india truly is and not what bollywood shows them.
      Aryan theory is an either or. Even if that wasn't the case, many of the so called northern cultures came from the persian invasion. which includes the cuisines.

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   pen promulgatesposted 6 years ago

   I'm sorry that you have had discriminating encounters. Stay safe dude!

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      Colin Sydneyposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      You too bro!

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