My bf's mom passed 15 yrs ago and he has yet to let go it is damaging our relati

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   Quabblesposted 14 years ago

   My bf's mom passed 15 yrs ago and he has yet to let go it is damaging our relationship, what do i do
   
   He was very close to her, she was his go to person. He has already acknowledged that he put a wall up and is basically numb to a lot of common emotions. It is extremely tough for me because I am a very intuitive, emotional person, but he seems fine with his behavior. I don't want to break up with him but it is difficult to differentiate what is his 'lack of emotion' or 'lack of interest'. His behavior has hindered relationships in the past and I don't want to see that repeat. I basically need help figuring out whether or not I'm barking up the wrong tree, please help

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2. 61

   Lady_Eposted 14 years ago

   Maybe he still needs some sort of closure. A counsellor might also be of help. Take Care.

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3. 84

   C.S.Alexisposted 14 years ago

   Hey Quabbles,
   I am thinking that you never really let go of a loved one who has passed. That is not to say that life does not go on because let's face it, it does. You say that it has been 15 years and you ARE talking about someone's Mother. So that being considered you or anyone else could not expect for someone to just forget about their Mother.
   I am also thinking that there is probably way more to what you are feeling than you could ever express in just a few sentences and a single question. You say you are intuitive and emotional. Looks like you probably already have the answer to your question about his lack of interest and or lack of emotion. I think the true question here is more about you.
   Are you willing to spend your time with someone who does not fulfill your inner child? Maybe you should consider finding someone who is more on  your level of emotional needs. That does not mean you have to break it off with this BF. You are not married, I am assuming so the field is open without a commitment from him.
   Take care of the child within and be true to yourself. Everything else should follow suit. Best of luck to you.

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4. 84

   stricktlydatingposted 14 years ago

   At least you know it's not you that's the problem, and you know what the problem is.   But this may be one problem you're not able to solve.  He may not be ready to let go of all the feelings yet and if his emotions are 'numbed' you may need to accept this as being just what he's like. It's probably his way of trying to live with his loss. You can either encourage him to seek help with it, or accept it, or decide to find a more emotionally available man.  It's a sad situation, and I wish you all the best.

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   All_is_wellposted 13 years ago

   OOOOOOOO, i could tell you how you can do this but i just don't know if i should because for those who don't understand this subject, they are very hostile towards it..... I'm not trying to sell you anything, just have a look ok, i cured my mom's 3rd stage OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorderness) with this and my Insomnia. It just works so just read atleast ok.
   
   http://hubpages.com/hub/HYPNOTIZE-YOURSELF-AND-OTHERS

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