Should I punish my 5 year old son for hitting a boy back in self defense?

Jump to Last Post 1-10 of 10 discussions (10 posts)
  1. jennjenn519 profile image43
    jennjenn519posted 12 years ago

    Should I punish my 5 year old son for hitting a boy back in self defense?

    With bullying being so prevalent in the news now, many schools are adopting new rules for it. My problem is that my 38 pound 5 year old son has been hit twice in the last week. He hit back, defending himself, and got in trouble for it. I really don't want to punish him for defending himself, as he is a little guy and will probably have to learn how to defend himself. What would you do?

  2. chelseacharleston profile image60
    chelseacharlestonposted 12 years ago

    Heck no.  It's not ok for anyone to start fights, but if you have to finish them, you finish them.

  3. Marcy Goodfleisch profile image84
    Marcy Goodfleischposted 12 years ago

    That's a tough dilemma - you should let it go unaddressed, but punishment might add to the problem.  I'd go to school officials, and maybe even the other child's parents to see if you can keep the problem betwwen the two from escalating.

    Teach him some effective self-defense strategies. Maybe get him into karate, not for sled-defense, but for self-confidence and as a waybto help him know about responsible use of force.

  4. lburmaster profile image71
    lburmasterposted 12 years ago

    Try to let him understand when it is okay when to fight back. But you should get him in a self defense area so he learns the right side of defense. He should not have gotten in trouble and you should let him know that if it is in defense he is good for doing so. Make sure he knows right from wrong. But also tell him that it is important to try to not to fight. That physically fighting is his last resort.
    Since he has already been bullied, he will definately be bullied again. Bullies focus on a personality type to attack, and he has a common one that bullies focus on. So no matter what you do (put him in another school, talk to the teachers, talk with the other childs parents, etc), he will be bullied again. Try to get him in Judo or Thai Boxing.
    Do not put him in martial arts that will not be used in common fighting, like Taekwondo. When students are put in Taekwondo they focus more on the belts and who is better than them instead of defense against others.

  5. xethonxq profile image68
    xethonxqposted 12 years ago

    I would talk to my son, but not punish him AND i would definitely call the other kid's parents.

  6. nishlaverz profile image61
    nishlaverzposted 12 years ago

    He needs to learn that what the other child did is wrong and that you should not hit others. However if he hits back in self defence then in a short time he may not have to do it again as the other children will realize that he will not take it lying down.

    Don't punish him for defending himself. Especially not with a smack as that would make him think it is OK to hit people. You should try and talk things through with him even though he is only 5 you will be able to get him to understand that hitting is wrong but that he should not let others hit or bully him.

  7. lorenmurcia profile image84
    lorenmurciaposted 12 years ago

    As a teacher, I have seen many cases in which bullies hit their victims for no reason at all. Many times, especially in the primary levels, a boy/girl will approach the teacher saying he/she has been hit by a classmate. I observed that most of the victims are those that come across as weak and shy. What your 5-year-old son did is right. He has to learn to fight back and show to everyone in class that no one can or has the right to bully him. Never, ever punish him if he hits back because it will undermine his self-confidence.

  8. Tams R profile image82
    Tams Rposted 12 years ago

    I agree with xethonxq. Talking to him about fighting and when it's ok to defend himself is important, but in today's world we have to worry about perception. He could be completely justified in knocking the other kid out, IF, another credible person saw it. If not, it is his word against the other kid and he could get in trouble anyway. Maybe even juvenile. A few years ago, the school threatened to suspend and press charges against my son after another child choked him. He punched the kid, but no adult saw it from the beginning and the other kid was bleeding. My son didn't have a mark on him, so it made it difficult to defend.

  9. profile image0
    Emily Sparksposted 12 years ago

    I wouldn't punish him for defending himself.  I believe more people should stand up to bullies. I would however, make sure I explain to him that in a matter of self-defense it's ok to hit back if necessary, but make sure he knows that just hitting people for no reason is not acceptable.  He must know where to draw the line in situations:)  And I would certainly contact the other child's parents and explain the situation and try to work it out between the two.

  10. Maggi Summerhill profile image61
    Maggi Summerhillposted 12 years ago

    I had the same problem a few years back. My son and this other boy in his class just didn't get on and they were forever fighting; each saying the other one started it. There didn't seem to be a solution because neither I nor the parents were there when it happened. The staff at the school however were there and knew what was going on.
    The only solution I could see was to make the staff at school responsible for keeping the boys apart in lessons and activities - it was only a question not sititng them side by side in lessons (should be easy with 29 other kids) and when doing group activities keeping each of them in sperate groups.
    I mentioned this to the other childs parents and together we went to the head of the school with our plan. He agreed and we had a trouble free few moths untill the staff started putting the boys together again. Again the other childs parents and I went to the head of the school and insisted they were seperated. we havent had any trouble since. ;-)

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)