Should spanking be an option?
As a parent of a 2 1/2 year old boy, should spanking be a form of punishment? My wife says in only extreme cases, such as if he runs out the door and into the parking lot. But I say pretty much any time he doesn't listen and ignores 1-2 warnings, then a smack on the hand or butt is in order. The other facet of this issue, should others who see a parent spanking their child intervene or mind their own business?
You should "speak softly and carry a big stick". It is the best strategy in my opinion.
Everyone is different in rearing their children & no one can/should tell you how to raise your kid and intervene. In my opinion spanking should be mandatory. Kids these days are babied to much to the point they are little divas. The future is looking bleak.
Spanking should be an option but only if really necessary, others should mind their own business it your child and you know what works best.
i dont think running in the parking lot is need for a spanking. seems like you could just explain the danger to them. people think kids are stupid, but i assure you a 2 yr old can comprehend more than you think. that being said, i see nothing wrong with a swat on the butt if the child refuses to listen. i personally would try other methods first though. i think its important for the child to realize why they are being punished, and sometimes just spanking lets them know THAT they shouldn't or should do something, but not really WHY. that kind of thing was very confusing to me as a kid. when i was punished in a way that showed me why what i was doing or not doing was wrong, my parents got much better results. however every child is an idividual and should be treated as such. there is no perfect parenting method for all. nobody knows your kid better than you, and i would use whatever method you feel gets the best results. without physical or verbal abuse of course.
As a mother of three children including a 2 1/2 year old I never see a good time to hit my child. I teach them not to hit others, why would I hit them? There are so many ways of teaching things why would hitting be the best option? Everyone screams about how we have people who do bad things because they weren't spanked. I would be willing to bet that the majority of these "bad" people WERE spanked. My husband and his siblings were never spanked, they all turned out just fine. My children aren't spanked and yet they are all respectful. Even my two year old says please, thank you, and Yes Ma'am or Sir. Swat, pop, discipline, spank, pat, people can call it what they want, but the fact of it is, it's just the easy way out when parents don't want to actually think a problem through to find a solution. There are always other options to hitting our children!!
I think the word "spanking" now carries a stigma thanks to those who don't care to mind their own business. Spanking to you and spanking to me seem to carry the same meaning but to others automatically creates a vision of abuse. Raising 3 sons, I've smacked a hand or buttock or 2 in my time but at a very young age and after trying to deter without doing so. I feel that once a child is old enough to be reasoned with, it isn't necessary anymore.
I think most people know where the line is. If I see "you" CLEARLY cross that line, I certainly would intervene. Children are defenseless and need help sometimes from an outsider. On the other hand, if I'm NOT crossing the line and you stick your nose in, you're likely to get an ear full.
Mandatory? No way. Spanking is a violent, humiliating act that robs a child of his personal power. Spanking teaches that hitting is the way to coerce someone into doing what you want. Spanking teaches the wrong message and does so through pain and fear. Of course, there is a difference between a light swat on the hand for shock and attention versus a spanking of repeated, hard swats as a punishment. Humans have evolved beyond the caveman days when the strongest clubber was in charge. There are better ways to teach children proper behavior.
Yes, kids can be overly babied and turn into divas. My culture teaches respect for elders but I have taught my kids to give due respect to everyone while not subjecting themselves to maltreatment just because someone is older or "in charge." They are adults now and we have a fantastic and close relationship with them, borne of mutual love and respect.
Spanking has become problematic because we, as a society, believe that negative consequences damage rather than instruct. I have raised three men to adulthood and, thus far, all are exemplary. I remember swats on the behind but no full spankings.
It is incumbent upon the adult to remain in control and remember that, from a child's perspective, we are giant and fearful creatures when in our wroth. We are to improve, preserve, encourage and grow them, not break them. The occasional swat or reward will likely grow their conscience and their awareness of consequences, both positive and negative.
Thank you all for the input. I agree Alpha, that is exactly how I feel, if you cant raise a kid then don't have them. I see a generation of parents, that don't want to raise their children, but just let them get away with everything.
Spanking does they y not promote violence, especially if you explain why they are getting spanked, it also shows that you care, and there will be consequences to their actions. If you do nothing what is that teaching your child?
Christian-kids aren't stupid, but when they don't listen on purpose, after a couple of times on shouting at them a smack to get their attention is in order, or when they are in danger, like running in the street, and they don't stop, time for a smack. Did that a few times and trust me he doesn't run in the street any more. Thank God no cars were coming, I am positive he'd prefer a smack on his behind, rather from a cars bumper.
First off all, I, personally, would say that -- as cliche as this sounds -- "in this day and age," intelligent adults should be able to come up with nonviolent ways to censure and correct their children. To my way of thinking, "in this day and age" (I must stress), to resort to spanking is, in its way, a concession: "I know of absolutely no other way to discipline my own children than hitting them. I am not smart enough to impress upon my children that which is right and wrong other than physically brutalizing them."
We know that we cannot get away with trying to solve problems in the wider society that way. We are required to think, communicate, negotiate, compromise, and the like. If you try "correcting" someone in a bar, you may find yourself facing criminal assault charges. In short, I would agree with the response given by peeples: "Its just the easy way out[.]"
I think punishments should be verbally given, and followed through with. There is not ever a reason to hurt a person. And, yeah, spanking, is hurting.
But should the government dictate how parents discipline? No wonder parents are afraid to discipline in public. and they feel its to late to do anything about it when they get home "because the child wont remember" why you are doing it.
bn….I was not talking about govt. I was saying I do not believe in spanking. I think children do as they are done to. If someone is violent with them, they think it is fine to be that way
I know what you were saying, I was adding another facet to my original question
I feel spanking is never an option. We always teach our children not to hit anyone, so why should we. More importantly, spanking never solves a problem. On a longer run, it only has bad implications.
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by mshunt 8 years ago
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by romper20 11 years ago
I don't have pre teen children, but I say spank away.
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