Have you ever sensed that your children wanted firmer boundaries than you were g

1. 80

   Collisaposted 11 years ago

   Have you ever sensed that your children wanted firmer boundaries than you were giving them?

   replyreport
2. 59

   Jeff Gambleposted 11 years ago

   I can't say mine have ever dropped any hints that they would like to be controlled more. While we're not strict parents by today's definition, we have made the rules, regulations, stipulations and boundaries very clear, and have not left them wanting more.

   replyreport
   1. 80

      Collisaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Good job! I find that my kids are happiest when they know their boundaries. It helps them feel secure.

      replyreport
3. 61

   AJ Flaniganposted 11 years ago

   In my opinion, digesting your child psychologically is the best way to go.  Judge their personality, get a sense of what they need to progress forward in life, and make a decision on what to do based on ho sensitive they are.  If you see signs of natural leadersip and good decision-making skills, give them looser boundaries, allowing them to choose the right path, and judge how to live their life on their own.  If your child struggles with decision making, or just needs structure in his/her life, give it to them, it just makes their life easier by allowing them to use ther talents and abilities in a more effective way.  But hey, it's your decision, and only you know you kids, so whatever you decide to do, its probably going to pay off.

   replyreport
   1. 80

      Collisaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks! Right on, it's a delicate balance as kids transition into adulthood. They become self-managed though a series of tests, some of which the parent and child fail, some of which they pass.

      replyreport
4. 39

   securityproducts3posted 11 years ago

   As a student in college, my answer is a firm No.

   replyreport
   1. 80

      Collisaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      lol! Sounds like my son! ; ) Once they are in college, boundaries from parents are a thing of the past. Except of course the usual boundaries one would apply to anyone else.

      replyreport
5. 60

   Bethalegposted 11 years ago

   Not really. I have always believed in being firm and consistent, as well as showing my kids how much I love them. I usually feel like I am more strict than the other moms around me but my kids are well behaved (most of the time) and happy. Rules andd boundaries are definitely important! Of course I have given in when I shouldn't have...but I know ill never be perfect.

   replyreport
   1. 80

      Collisaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      It sounds like you are a great mom! I often felt pretty strict when my kids were little, but I found it really made everyone happier.

      replyreport
6. 80

   Collisaposted 11 years ago

   Thanks for these great comments!
   I sensed my son asking for boundaries on two occasions, on both of which I was distracted from my discipline by outside stresses. He seemed really relieved when I established and enforced the boundaries.
   Of course, kids can't outright ask for boundaries, because what they're really asking for is proof they are loved. Love has to be given freely, without prompting, or it doesn't really count.
   I'm really grateful for my kids, and God's help with raising them!

   replyreport