What do you do when you feel stifled or bored despite being busy?

1. 39

   ChristinSposted 10 years ago

   What do you do when you feel stifled or bored despite being busy?
   
   Perhaps it's a bit of a midlife thing coming on - but lately I feel so "been there done that" about everything in my life.  I'm tired of writing - a first for me because it's always been my passion.  I'm dreading winter.  Household chores are overwhelmingly mind numbing now when I didn't mind it before. I'm busy, too many clients, too much house and never a break. I need something new to stimulate my brain or something.  I'm just tired/bored all the time. How do you get through it? I was excited to turn 40, now I'm thinking another 40 years of the same stuff isn't going to do it for me.

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2. 44

   Ericdierkerposted 10 years ago

   ChristinS, more people should write about this and share it with others. The very worst scenario for you is to think you are alone. Did you know that some people feel like this for years. True. Many people just go on medications to relieve it -- prozac anyone? Some folks call it depression and supposedly about a quarter of US adults suffer from it. I get it from time to time. Believe it or not I do not dread it anymore. I have learned to just go with it, but that might not be for everyone.
   If you are not overburdened with such matters as Obamacare --- go get a full physical. Really. Let them poke and prod and stick you with needles. And I am sorry to tell you it is time to start with something akin to yoga. You have got to get your juices flowing. What was just happening at 30 now requires some effort.
   
   Here is a fun thing to do: Set your mind very clearly on bummers and write the most low down depressing hub you can write. Make a list of your bummers and get way into them. If you stay there go see a shrink. But if this is just transitory I promise you -- by half way through you will start laughing at yourself. There is something in polar opposites that makes us see the other side when we get way into the opposite side. Sounds whacko and most folks will tell you to count your blessings. But they do not really get it.
   
   As a platitude aside. I really like your writing. I think you shine. And I would bet there are many like me. So do us all a big favor and just write for us. Not for yourself. I would like that.  Thanks for being you.

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   1. 39

      ChristinSposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you very much you're words are much appreciated. I do practice meditation, but I think Yoga is an excellent idea. I'm quite sure it's transitory because I laugh at myself even as I feel these things I hope I don't feel this way for years!

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3. 0

   JThomp42posted 10 years ago

   Do you think you could be going through the "change?" All of the things you have mentioned seem to be symptoms. Just wondering? Or it could just be the "blues" or a mild form of depression that you are experiencing. Hope it passes soon!

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   1. 39

      ChristinSposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Perimenopause for sure contributes. Not sure if it's the sole cause - I think it is some of that though along with the milestone birthday perhaps.. thank you for your concern truly.

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      JThomp42posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      You are very welcome Christin.

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4. 96

   FlourishAnywayposted 10 years ago

   When I feel that way I give myself permission to slack off a bit on priorities that matter less in the grand scheme of things (e.g., housework) so that I can relax then reinvigorate myself and my interests -- however long that requires. 
   
   There's been a time or two when I've been pretty burned out from work.  I needed a few months to regroup and breathe some fresh air into my spirit.  During those times, I have tried to focus on the basics by getting plenty of sleep, exercising, eating right, socializing some.  Mostly, I enjoyed trying new hobbies or new twists on old ones.  I read new books, tried to visit local places of interest that I'd always wanted to go but never quite found the time to visit, and I volunteered a few hours for some fascinating charities I never knew existed before.  (You can even volunteer on-line!). 
   
   With my writing, if I feel less inspired, I try to write on a totally different subject, something that is unusual for me, or a style that is unusual for me.  You may just find that you're really good at something or have a hidden passion.  Once I allowed myself to be much more spontaneous, I found out these happy surprises.  I hope you have the opportunity to discover them as well.  I hope this helped.

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      ChristinSposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      All great suggestions - thank you. It's finding time to make oneself a priority that seems to always be the struggle though.

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5. 61

   IDONOposted 10 years ago

   I 've heard many people talk about focus this and focus that. Maybe that;s part of the problem. We focus too much. Sometimes, to a point, that you may be describing, that everything we do, seems to be routine. Maybe that's because it is routine. Where spontaneity in our life no longer exists. We just don't realize it . When this happens, we lose the ability to get out of ourselves and give ourselves a break. We are our own worst enemies. Totally focusing on what to do to get out of the doldrums can actually just be more of the same thing.
        Try keeping it simple. Don't write today, even if you feel like it. Don't do the dishes today, even if you hate looking at them. Be late to work; purposely. Make yourself not do the next right thing, as long as it doesn't hurt others. Feel guilty. You'll get over it.
        If you don't want to live on the proverbial edge, go rake the neighbors leaves while they aren't home and don't tell them. Go to a hospital and ask them to see a patient that hasn't had any visitors for some time. Just stop in and say "Hi". There are a million ways to get out of yourself and you just have to find one that works for you. I'm not referring to selfishness. Not at all. But as humans, we are harder on ourselves than anyone else. We all need to give ourselves a break and experience a world other than the one we have  built around ourselves.
        Meditation, prayer and all those things are good. But maybe you just need a little more to break that trend of mediocrity.

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6. 40

   Borsiaposted 10 years ago

   Personally I go for some sort of change.
   If you are feeling burnt out on writing either give it a break or put in some time writing about things that don't matter but make you happy.
   It makes no difference if they will never go anywhere beyond your hard drive.
   I write things that are pure nonsense but amuse me. I recently wrote about the history of the Asstidon an ancient but intelligent predecessor of the mastodon and all of the other dons. They had multiple trunks with fingers and spent most of their time writing poetry. They became extinct after they discovered sitting, which was great for poetry but left them vulnerable to attack.
   Now I'm working, playing, with a quest to find the West Pole.
   I also take up new hobbies. I explore on my motorcycle, the first I've had in 40 years, and am about to start a search for all the best snorkeling places in my area of Southern Luzon.
   I feel for you going into winter. We are just emerging from the Monsoon season, 4 months of almost endless rain. I'm guessing we had about 10' since the end of July and will have 12' for the year. Needles to say I'm more than a little stir crazy.
   Maybe a motorcycle isn't your cup of tea and if you're not in a sun state not practical in winter. But consider taking up something that interests you and will be new.
   When I lived in the states, CA, I took classes at the local community college often ones that were simply fun. I studied special effects make up for 2 years as well as make up for photography. I studied photography for close to 4 years taking every class from 101 to commercial view camera. I took airbrush classes though I'm no artist.
   The thing I liked about taking classes was that even though I had a full schedule it forced me to take the break to make it to class at least once a week usually more. Somehow I was always able to fit it in and always returned home feeling relieved and with less stress.
   I also took badminton playing twice a week, I've played since I was a kid. There is nothing like a sport to give yourself a stress break. If not a sport the gym is a good second choice, just make sure you actually go on a set schedule.

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