My mother in law is not supportive of me breastfeeding my 3 week old. How can I

1. 64

   Dreamer08posted 10 years ago

   My mother in law is not supportive of me breastfeeding my 3 week old. How can I cope with this?

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2. 61

   FatFreddysCatposted 10 years ago

   Tell your mother in law to mind her own damn business. There, that was easy.

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3. 96

   LongTimeMotherposted 10 years ago

   Hello, Dreamer08. Congratulations! A new baby is very exciting.
   
   Let me remind you that it is your decision to breastfeed your baby, not your mother-in-law's. The only reason why you might need her support is if she is babysitting and feeding expressed milk, but obviously you have control over your baby and your own body, particularly in these early weeks.
   
   I suggest you tell your grandmother that you want to do the very best for your baby / her grandchild - and breastfeeding is widely acknowledged as the best source of nutrients for a baby. Focus on looking after "her grandchild" but don't lose ownership of your role as "mother".
   
   If she is telling you that she bottle fed your husband and he turned out okay, agree with her ... but make clear that was her decision. Now it is your turn to make your decision. Tell her how you will breastfeed your baby for as long as you can, and you would really appreciate her support because when the child grows up, you want to be able to tell stories about how helpful their grandmother was.
   
   Gently remind your mother-in-law of her role and say, "Nobody wants their baby to be in a family where there is conflict. Please, it is my turn to be the mother now, so please support me."
   
   The time might come when you choose to bottle feed, but I think you've made a wise decision to breastfeed.
   
   Good luck, Dreamer08. 

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   1. 61

      FatFreddysCatposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Pretty much what I said, but LongTimeMother was much nicer about it.

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4. 83

   Jayne Lancerposted 10 years ago

   I absolutely agree with FatFreddysCat - tell her to mind her own business! But what puzzles me is why she disappoves. Breast feeding is the best thing you can do for a child under normal circumstances. I breast fed both of mine.

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   wmhoward4posted 10 years ago

   Mess with her head. Ask her what she has against her grandchild. Nursing your baby has massive benefits to the child and to you as well. It helps the child's brain development and overall nutrition. There is a very good link between long-term nursing and positive mental health of children. Did you also know that breastfeeding reduces incidents of breast cancers?
   
   Also, your husband needs to get her off your back. You should NOT have to deal with a negative on what should be a very positive and precious part of your lives.

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   sheilamyersposted 10 years ago

   I agree with everyone else. I don't think you need to give her any long, drawn out explanations. A nicely as possible, tell her it's your baby and your decision. If she still keeps bothering you about it, get more firm. Unfortunately, by the third or fourth time, you may have to just put your foot down and to tell her in exactly the way FatFredy put it.

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   krillcoposted 10 years ago

   Yup. Ignore her. It's none of her business.

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   Daniella Lopezposted 10 years ago

   Everyone that's responded has had great answers. I would like to address why is it she is against breastfeeding?
   
   You are doing the best thing you possibly can for your little one by giving it the natural nourishment that human beings are meant to intake.
   
   Le Leche League has a plethora of information on the benefits of breast milk. You can contact your local chapter and try to go about getting some reading material for your mother-in-law.
   
   Sorry you're having to go through this. I had this same issue, except that it was my parents who were causing the problem.
   
   Just focus on you and your baby. Bonding and breastfeeding are so important early on, so focus on that, and focus on positive thinking.
   
   Congratulations on the birth of your baby and blessed be!

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   baybpnkposted 10 years ago

   It doesn't matter why she is against it. The problem is not that she is against it, the problem is that she is apparently pushing her opinions on you and making you feel bad for thinking otherwise. You can be respectful of her opinion because she is your mother-in-law, but you can also remind her that baby is not her child and will be raised how you and your husband see fit.
   Isn't breastfeeding like a bonding experience for mother and child? Don't let her make you feel bad for wanting that time with your baby and choosing to breastfeed, it really is none of her business. I think some grandparents over-extend their opinions when it comes to their grandchildren because that's not the way they raised their children (and you are or married their children). They just need a gentle reminder that they are not the parent anymore.

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    Erin Trefzposted 10 years ago

    You have chosen a very wonderful choice for you and your baby! I actually wrote a Hub about nursing in public! I am on my second child & have nursed them both until just after their 2nd birth day.  Believe me, I have gotten a lot of advice, though I don't recall asking for it! 
    
    Breastfeeding is so great for health and bonding reasons, just to start.  How is she not being supportive?  If she is saying something about it, I would say, "This is the choice I have made after much research and I know you will help support me."  I also wrote a Hub about dealing with your MIL, in general & some of those tips may help. 
    
    Above all, remember this is YOUR choice and a great one at that. You do not need her permission to do this.  Your body is made to do it.  Maybe she had a difficult time, and is resentful.  I hope your husband supports you, and tells your MIL how this makes you feel.  Not her place.  She needs to support you or back away.
    
    After all, if you are not comfortable, maybe you won't be able to make it for the next holiday!

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