Why are we nice to people we don't like?

1. 93

   davidlivermoreposted 9 years ago

   Why are we nice to people we don't like?
   
   There are people I know, work with, etc., that I am nice to, but I don't like them at all.  Why?  Why can't I just say I don't like them so I don't have to make small talk?  There are people I don't respect, so why must I act like I respect them?  Why is it forced on society that we have to be nice to everyone just because we work with them?  Why can't I say I don't like someone so I don't have to talk to them unless I am required to do so?

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2. 85

   Edward J. Palumboposted 9 years ago

   If you expressed your dislike, would you improve anything? Would you educate or alienate them? We are nice to those we don't particularly like because it's the civilized way to interact. While not a personal connection or extension, it's a product of human respect and (difficult though it may be at times) it's the better choice to make, the more polished approach. You may not respect that individual but, if you express that distaste or rejection, you will accomplish nothing praiseworthy. Ever wonder how health care personnel often seem to manage great patience with obnoxious or very demanding patients?
   These people are but a passing storm or bump in your road. Don't let them take the joy out of your life. If you must, make a game out of countering their unpleasantness with patience and kindness. As you move past them, they may marvel at your professionalism or polish without really knowing that you really don't like them at all!
   A work environment is (or should be) a collaborative effort, a team. If you express your dislike, you will erode the fabric of that teamwork and the possibility of productive cooperation. At day's end, you can take some satisfaction in your self-discipline.

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3. 61

   fpherj48posted 9 years ago

   Yes...BRAVO, Edward.....I would parrot your very words.  I suppose David, we don't HAVE to do anything we don't want to just because it is more socially acceptable, but then it will be you who appears to be the unlikable one.  Why do that to yourself? 
   It doesn't hurt to say Hello and use simple courtesies to everyone....even those we tend to dislike.  You don't have to smile real wide or hug them or go overboard, for heaven's sake.
   Realize that most people who are paying attention, probably know that they aren't the most popular person in the office or that people tend to be adverse to their personality.  Guess what?  There are people who couldn't care less who likes them and who doesn't.  Thus, it would do nothing to add to the general overall situation to actually tell them...."Hey! I don't like you."......LOL.  I don't think I could even say that to someone.  It sounds so KINDERGARTEN.
   Just play nice David......you needn't be blood brothers with everyone!  LOL..........Good question......I think.  LOL

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4. 82

   peachpurpleposted 9 years ago

   If you are working in a company, you have to act falsely even though you hate them. Otherwise you will become the black sheep instead

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5. 81

   dashingscorpioposted 9 years ago

   Actually no one can "force you be nice to others.
   For the most part it comes down to whether or not (you) as an individual (benefits) by being rude or disrespectful towards your fellow colleagues. You can always keep conversations polite and brief.
   It's usually the person who has proven they can work with people of various personality types and accomplish a task that gets promoted.
   No matter what line of work you're in there is a certain amount of political decorum required to navigate your way to the top. Unless one is content with being at or near the bottom they're going to have to learn to make lemonade out of lemons from time to time.
   Generally speaking no matter how much we dislike someone they usually have at least one redeeming quality or something that we don't find completely offensive. You want to focus on the positives as much as you can. Focusing on negatives just leads to frustration and unhappiness. View it as a strategic game of chess. Play to win!

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