why can't I let her go? Its been a year since we have broken up, and I still cry myself to sleep...
why can't I let her go? Its been a year since we have broken up, and I still cry myself to sleep three times a week. I've tried dating other people, and it just makes me feel worse. She's moved on and found another guy, and I'm still crying over her. Why?
Perhaps, your feelings have deep roots within you. The greater it has in you the longer you can assuage the feeling.
But time really heal. Except that in many of us, it's longer.
You feel rejected and nobody likes that.
Time will eventually heal you but it will really take finding someone new. Try to tell yourself that it was meant to be.
New adventures will come and in the most unexpected way.
Just hang in there. Don't keep objects or memories around. Put them away. You don't need to be reminded. It's really helpful if you can take a trip away for a while.
Generally speaking, an ex is an ex for a reason and it's usually a very good reason.
You haven't moved on because you don't want to.
Somewhere in the back of your mind you're still holding out for the possibility that you will get back together.
You view dating other women as nothing more than occupying
your time until you are reunited with your ex. Basically you are "sleep walking" through life.
Some people believe if they stop feeling pain it means the love they had wasn't real. They feel guilty if they find themselves laughing and having a good time.
Maybe you would do well to cut off all ties with your ex and not discuss her with any of your friends and family. You may even want to have a symbolic funeral for the relationship by burying a few items (photos, letters,...etc), have one last major cry and then go meet your friends for dinner, drinks, or a comedy movie.
At some point having a happy life is a choice you will have to make as well as giving yourself permission to experience again.
You haven't said whether she broke up with you are not? If she did, then maybe you're suffering from a lack of closure in the relationship.
Also, a fact that I've been told many times is that it can take you half your relationships length to get over a person, to process it fully.
I myself I have been in love with a person who I couldn't let go, but I did have a turning point where it felt like a rock was lifted off my chest. I hope this happens for you soon.
Acceptance is the key. Maybe you still don't accept the fact that you to are not really meant for each other. Just accept then move on.
It's always strange when you break up with someone, but you gotta push through it and move on. Being with someone new doesn't always feel right at first, but give it time, and you'll adjust.
As we don't know your situation of how you two broke up in the first place. I would say that it probably was never explained why you two split and your crying because you are confused over that. Or you feel guilty about something perhaps not trying to persue her further. If none of these ring true then the ony other thing I can think of is that you just miss the banter of the relationship and my suggestion for that is...put that relationship in a box pack it away and go on a quest of finding the same banter with some one else that will appreciate you more than she did. Plenty more fish in the sea you just have dangle the right bait in that don't show people that you are still heartbroken. Really give it a shot.
Do you have unanswered questions about why you split? Or do you feel a deep sense of rejection because she ended it?
Why don't you write down your thoughts and feelings as if you were writing her a letter. But you have to write exactly how you feel ie angry, depressed.. etc
Read through it a few times.
Then throw it away. Or burn it. This step is very important in finding the closure that you need.
Give it a try...
You need to find the things in life that can make you happy. Pick up a new hobby, keep your self busy, retrain you mind to the reality of life. You mind is set on the way things were not of what it is, that is why you can not move on. You need to look forward and make changes in order to move on. I do not recommend dating at this time. Simply start with getting a puppy you will become so distracted with taking care of a puppy your mind will slowly start to concentrate on other things that are of importance at that time. Basically you need to change you way of life in order to change the way your mind sees it. But you always must remember healing of the mind comes in time, do not rush things take it slow and start simple.
i just saw lately older movie called "High-fidelity". check it out it might give you some ideas!
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