How do you define stability in a marriage nowadays?
Oftentimes when people ask about "Stability" they're actually thinking in terms of being able to "relax". You see this in other areas of life as well whether it's right after someone completes their 90 day probation period on a new job or a college professor becomes tenured. Subconsciously they look forward to a time where they can "slack off" or put in less effort (without the fear of losing) their job or whatever.
Some people view marriage in the same light. They believe once someone exchanges vows with them they are free to gradually STOP doing all the things that won their mate's heart! It's almost a cliché to hear someone say: "He/she is not the same person I fell in love with."
There is no such thing as a "neutral gear" in marriage.
As a couple you're either "growing together" or "growing apart". Communication is the GPS that lets you know which direction you're headed. The real "work" in marriage is to never stop putting in the effort to maintain the marriage! Marriage is like a garden in that if you neglect it then it will die. When we change our circumstances change.
I believe the number one cause for divorce is choosing the wrong mate for oneself! The goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the marriage that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things and last but not least there is a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.
Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys!
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