How to stay relaxed in most difficult situations

You can not avoid difficulties and complications in life. Many times life becomes complicated and you get stuck. Sometimes the pressure of the situation is too much. Sometimes it is not your fault but you simply become a victim. You have all the reasons which can prove that you are innocent but still you are a victim. And there is no way out. Your mind start moving in circle. This can go on for months and years. This kind of situations arises in life. We don't know what to do. People commit crime like violence and murder. We often read in newspapers, for example recently I read that there was a man who's brother raped his wife. So this man became very angry and shoot his brother. Latter he was imprisoned and few years latter he died of intracerebral hemorrhage. Are you getting my point?

In this kind of situations anger is uncontrollable and you become mad. Then you have all the reason to punish other people who have ruined your life. But in the process of revenge you also ruin your own life. It happens time to time in life. Every person goes through this kind of situations in life at some point.

We have no training about how to deal with this kind of situations. We react to this kind of situations like movies or drama. So the question is how to control overwhelming emotions quickly before they destroy our life?

I have discussed with one of my friend who gone through the same kind of situation and came out successfully. He shared some valuable tips to me which you may also find useful in dealing with stressful situations.

1. Immediately Find a calm and quit place. Switch off your cell phone and sit quietly.
2. Do not analyze the situation because you will get more panic or angry
3. Take few deep breaths
4. Move your body, shake your body. If the emotions are overwhelming then you can run for few miles until your mind gets totally calm
5. You should get really tired. Our emotions are very powerful. In uncontrollable anger you can destroy yourself or others so you have to throw this energy out.
6. If the emotions of anger, hatred and rage are too much powerful and overwhelming then you can jump or roll on the floor.
7. Don't move from that place until you get totally tired and exhaust. This is very, very important if you feel that you can commit a crime like attacking or killing someone for their mistake.
8. Perhaps you will be able to control your anger, rage and violent feelings first day but next day those feelings and emotions will attack you again. In this case you have to repeat the cycle again. It is better to make a schedule of exercise like running or jogging for miles until your mind stop thinking. In another words you have to throw that toxic emotions via exercise.
9. Shadow boxing or kick boxing is extremely useful in this kind of situation. In this way you build your power and also throw your anger and rage in the air.
10. You should never suppress the anger otherwise suppressed anger is harmful for you and you should not throw this anger on the other person otherwise you may break the laws and find yourself in more difficulties.
11. Remember I'm not telling you to forgive the criminal but to control the uncontrollable anger. Once you get rid of the overflowing energy you can think in a proper way and take a proper action. That action may be legal action or it may be having conversation or you may even forgive that person.
12. If you know meditation then do not do it when you are totally blind with anger and hatred. Instead do any physical exercise until you get tired. Otherwise when you close your eyes you will get more focused on negative emotions and the result of meditation will be extremely bad.
13. If you try to meditate in this kind of situation then your mind will not become relaxed and you will get even more frustrated and depressed and it will only fuel your anger. I'm not telling you to entirely stop the meditation but you should throw out your surplus energy which is created by anger.
14. Talking to other people about this problem before you find self-control may create more complications because everyone will suggest different solution. To find the clarity you should first calm down your own mind and find peace. Once you find peaceful state and a proper attitude only then move forward. You should take further action from a proper state of mind to avoid your own destruction.
15. As long as you feel uncomfortable sensation in your body you are in a dangerous zone. Fear, panic, anxiety and anger create uncomfortable sensations in your body. Your body constantly gives you signals. Be alert and note these signals. The more you understand those signals more you will be in control.
16. Sometimes you have to be prepared to face these uncontrollable emotions of anger and violence for months.
17. Try your best to stay in the present moment. You can pay attention to your breathing to stay in the present moment. If your mind goes back again and again to the past memories then it will be difficult for you to stay in control.
18. Look at other people who are more unfortunate than you. Remind your mind again and again that if you stay in control in this situation then you can remain in control even in death.
19. Watch comedy show. This works better. You look at the event through a new perspective. You can easily break the toxic chain of thoughts and emotions by watching a comedy show. Laughter releases some chemicals in your brain which helps to reduce toxic negative emotions.
20. Remember life is meaningless and empty. You can give any meaning to the life. It is not what happened to you but how you define the situation is what helps you to stay in control
21. You may find 30 Second meditation very useful in this kind of situation. In this meditation you don't sit in meditation and fight with your thoughts for hours and hours. You just detach yourself from violent emotions for only 30 seconds. Yes you can not become completely free from overwhelming emotions but you can become free for 30 seconds and who know you may prolong these 30 seconds to months and years!