Self Help and Perfection - Looking for Acceptance from Others (Life Coaching Courses)
The Fear of Making Mistakes
Life Coaching Courses: Self Help and Perfection - Looking for Acceptance from Others
We use up a lot of energy trying to be perfect. We fear making mistakes, appearing incompetent, and we don’t want to be criticized. It is actually liberating to accept our imperfections and shortcomings. We want to do things the way they should be done. Trying to be perfect causes us to be burdened. It comes from not truly accepting ourselves. We suffer from our own failures. We search for acceptance and approval. We are looking for validity. It is a natural desire to fit in with others, we are social creatures after all. But our perfection actually causes anxiety. We work hard to prove to others who we have elevated in a position of approval, that we need their acceptance.
Seeking Perfection Can Cause Us To:
- to work towards the impossible
- create unnecessary anxiety and stress
- create uncomfortable feelings when we make a mistake
- waste valuable time and enrgy
- interfere with important relationships
- make us resentful if we have not gotten approval from the people we sought it from
- create physical and emotional strain on our bodies
- never feel satisfyied
- feel inadequate and blame ourselves for things we may not necessariy be able to control
- be dictated by others, and letting them run our lives
- not considering your own needs
- think irrationally
- being consumed with too high of a social image
- setting unrealistic standards for ourselves
- denying yourself
- suppressing your own self growth
- being too much of a people pleaser
- not having the pleasure of self satisfaction
- feeling you are not good enough
- compormising you own values
What Are the Costs of Your Perfection?
When you impose other people’s standards as your own, or you set too high of standards for yourself, you are setting yourself up for failure.
Ask yourself what are the costs of trying to do things perfect? How much are you willing to spend in time and energy. What are the effects if you don’t do things perfectly? How do you think you will deal with these feelings? What is the worst thing if you don’t do it perfectly? Let logic prevail. Talk yourself through each of the feelings to see if it truly is worth the wasted energy trying to do it perfectly. This is an exercise in taking charge of your decisions. Comfort yourself if you make mistakes. What would you objectively think if it was someone else who proved they were human and showed their imperfections. Let things go. Don’t take it too seriously, most likely others are not either.
You Are Only Human and Mistakes Are Natural
In life coaching courses you don’t need to impress anyone else but yourself. If you make a mistake, be easy on yourself. You will get beyond it, we all do. There is not a person on this planet who has not made mistakes. If you find them, please let me know. Even if you disappoint someone else, you will ge tover it, and probably learn something from it. This is called self growth and if you seek perfection and never make mistakes you are probably depriving yourself of self growth. So they logic here is that there are mistakes in seeking perfection too.
By the same reasoning, criticism is not as terrible as you might think. It can be liberating to learn about doing something better. If you have people in your life who constantly criticize you, they may very well be trying to control and manipulate you. They may be trying to keep you down, to force you to please them, to give you conditional love and acceptance. Doing your best is good enough. Perfection is an enemy that can keep you uncomfortable and dissatisfied forever.
Perfectionism is Self Defeating
Trying to stop the habit of perfectionism starts with the choices you make. Your own thoughts can be your wonworst emnemty. Perfectionisim is self defeating. Striving to please others is giving up the essence of who you are. If you find yourself enslaved by old messages and by being stuck and being dictated by your own theories then it may be time to do an attitude check and make some changes. In order to give up the thoughts and beliefs of perfectionism, you need to substitute different thoughts and rewards.
This comes from understanding how to gain personal freedom. Personal freedom comes from realixing that perfectionsidm and striving to do things error free and to the highest standards is really enslaving yourself. Look at what your best interests are. Give yourself the freedom to choosewhen it is approporiate to seek perfection and when doing your best is just good enough. Balancing this with the idea that it is okay not to please others or look for their approval in everything we do.
We Believe These Self Truths and They Hold Us Back
Change your thoughts and you will change your life. Swap thoughts of perfectionism with the truths that reflect who you really are. Free yourself from the compulsive thinking that you must please others.
The ideas you hold as self truths make a tremendous impact on how you live and the decisions you make for yourself. Your thoughts matter! Claim your freedom, nuture your inner self, encourage to do your best, and protect yourself from the demands of others. Look to serve your own interests. Life coaching courses can help you see that your own self approval can come from within too.
Trying to be perfect downplays your own independence and interferes with your own sense of power. When you become subordinate to the demands and interests of other people, you give up your own power, your own emotional and psychological health to everyone else.
Now where does that leave you? Honor yourself. Give yourself permission that you are an okay person and you are enough. Life coaching courses can help you to believe in yourself.Take care of yourself and then you can take care of others. Everyone benefits this way. And when everyone benefits, we can truly feel like we did things just right and good enough.
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