Is happiness a skill? Does one learn to be happy or is just born with it?
I'm thinking these days of those people who seam to be doing just fine in the important aspects of their lives, realizing that they are on the right place, with the right people, healthy, with a roof over their head, loved, etc. - and still cannot say they feel happy.
I think that people fall into two categories uppers and downers. I consider myself an upper(or optimist) and try to avoid downers. And I think that your disposition is something that you are born with. I was smiling as a child and still smile (I heard it's easier on your face muscles).
Happiness is definitely a skill. Happiness is an emotion and we all have control of our own emotions (even though it doesn't always seem like we do).
In fact, I have written a hub about what influences our emotions.
Check it out: http://hubpages.com/hub/Notes-Get-the-E … r-Feelings
There are also other factors that can affect our emotions, which I will put up in my later hubs. Here's a sneak peak though:
Our "rules" on how life should be - when do I allow myself to feel happy? Or what makes you feel happy? Everyone has their own unique rules about how life should be.
Perhaps this person, who seemingly has everything, has rules that are too stringent to feel happy. For example, in order to feel happy, I need to earn $5 million/yr, but this year, I only earned $4 million.
Or maybe happiness is not linked to anything that person already has. For example, a person may link happiness to just lying on the beach one day out of the week. But this person is so successful in business/family life/health that he has no time for himself.
There are many more reasons for why we have certain emotions and how to get out of them.
In fact, if you become a follower of my hubs, you will be able to read a hub about "How to get rid of negative emotions" in the next 3 days.
Again, check out what influence our emotions: http://hubpages.com/hub/Notes-Get-the-E … r-Feelings
I think most of us actually do learn to be happier as we live--accepting over time that there is imperfection in life and that happiness, if it is to exist, must coexist with that reality.
That is not to say that disposition isn't important, though--some people seem to be 'sunny' by nature, others not so much. But I think we all do learn--or at least *can* learn, since it must be acknowledged that people do sometimes despair and succumb to emotional numbness, addiction or even suicide--to be happier despite the challenges life throws at us.
I think first we have to define how we are using the word happiness. The meaning varies depending on with whom we are speaking.
I will define happiness as being at peace, needing nothing external, and satisfied with the self, not hankering for anything mentally or physically.
A persons outlook is so important. If a person is just happy to be alive then they are blessed. Life is a miracle and we have to choose to be happy about being alive.
A person is always in the right place if they are at peace with their environment and themselves. A person is with the right people if their is mutual respect and caring about one another, meaning that no one is trying to exploit another person for selfish gains.
A roof over the head is just to protect one from the environment. I ancient times people did not have as many material things, but I am sure that there were happy people then as well.
The key to happiness is loving the fact that we exist, life is a miracle and a journey. There will be ups and downs, but the realization that life is a miracle is they key.
Best wishes on your journey.
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