i realized that i can heal... but i was always surrounded by negative people... and because of...
that every person who becomes intimate with me or somewhat close they get sick.. and those i try to heal to get better get even more worse.. im a curse.. but my family isnt effected.. but my curse... im thinking that its cuase we are family and its hereditary.. but why cant i do positive things... like healing... ive stopped hearts ive damaged internal organs in people who attack me cause they see me as weird and different... what can i do??? i wanna control it.. im gonna go to china... what should i do??? i have no time for yoga... im in the army... always busy..
You are not cursed though you probably have intense energy. You are also not evil. It's difficult to be true to yourself when surrounded by negativity, we take it on unconsciously just to survive - as children.
Focus on healing yourself first. Whatever that means to you and begin with what you can do, instead of trying to achieve all your dreams when time does not allow.
You may not be able to do yoga, but you can meditate, but you can pray, you can do short forms of tai chi. Even simply walking, with an intention to drop negativity and take in (you decide, compassion for self if you can) would help.
This is a process, do what you can, what makes sense. It will be challenging but you can find someone to help you if you look around.
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