Why do folks choose to stay in their homes & not get the elder care they need?

1. 60

   Kim M Gregoryposted 13 years ago

   Why do folks choose to stay in their homes & not get the elder care they need?

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2. 67

   grinnin1posted 13 years ago

   I think "nursing home" has the same connotation to you when your 85 as it does when your 35. Loss of freedom, loss of home, "old" people, sickness, death. The longer I live and the more older people I know, I realize that a lot of them still feel like they're 50 when they're 80 or 90. I think it's a tough issue for people to come to terms with even if they know they need to be there.

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3. 78

   The Dirt Farmerposted 13 years ago

   I would certainly rather stay in my own home and remain independent, no matter how uncomfortable I might sometimes be, than go into a nursing home of some sort where I'd be at the mercy of strangers, however benevolent.

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4. 73

   debbie robertsposted 13 years ago

   Fear of loosing their independence and their identities maybe. It can't be easy to acknowledge when we are too old or infirm to be independent anymore.

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5. 92

   suzettenaplesposted 13 years ago

   I agree with grinnin1.  Most people don't want to give up their independence.  It is hard to depend on others especially in this day and age.  My grandmother and great-grandmother stayed at home alone until the day they passed away in their 90's.  It depends on the person, but some can remain alone at home until they pass on, and I think, more power to them.

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6. 38

   Borsiaposted 13 years ago

   OK 1; stop spying on me!
   I'm not that old yet and I plan to marry a youngster who can take care of me.
   I would say that pride is a big factor. It is very hard to admit, even to yourself / especially to yourself, that you can't do everything like you could in your younger days.
   Of course nobody wants to be at the mercy, not really the right word, of others. To depend on doing things in their schedule rather than your own.

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7. 72

   onegoodwomanposted 13 years ago

   If by " elder care", you are suggesting a nursing home or similiar arrangement, I am here to tell you................many of them might as well be at home alone.
   
   Yes, there ARE good homes, and there ARE good employees in poor homes.  But 2 good people can not keep up with what 40 poor ones will not do.
   
   I am the kitchen manager, ( in a poorly run one ) and every single day, ( I work 6 days a week) there are residents who come to ME with their needs........because, the aides, LPNS and charge Nurses, don't give a tinkers dammn about them, and they know it!   They are some things that I simply am not qualified to do........give medication, prohibited by law, ( showering them or changing them)......I can't even by state law wipe their noses................I might transfer contaminated body fluids to the food.
   
   But I can go to the DON  ( she and I have become allies, because, she too, cares) to the Administrator, ( because, I am a trusted employee) and get these things done.   I can also sit with them over a cup of coffee, or tea and visit.   These are the things that I take time to do, and the residents trust me to do it again tomorrow.
   
   The home that I work in, houses 90-95 residents.  It would safe and fair to say, that in the ( 10 months) time I have been there, only 10 have had family visitors.   Once most people are put into a " living facility", they are forgotten.   At least in those homes that depend on Medicaid- Medicare.
   
   Those homes that cator to the elite and financially independent payors, receive a much better quality of care, and social activities.
   
   
   I FEAR the day will come, when my Dad can no longer live at home, or when my hubby can not!

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8. 0

   lavender3957posted 13 years ago

   My folks stayed in their home because they said they did not want to be sent away to die. Even though they needed the 24 hours 7 day a week care, they refused to be sent to a nursing home. They wanted to die at home. So we gave them that privilege with each of us 6 kids taking  turns to care for them. We did hire nurses to come in also.

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9. 59

   LifeStationposted 13 years ago

   This is a great question. As a medical alert system company, LifeStation directly serves the audience of seniors looking to age in place but have never really stopped to ask the question of why they want to continue living at home. I suspect that it is primarily a fear of change during a time of life when everything is changing, and not for the better.

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10. 60

    iWilliams311posted 11 years ago

    I think it's an issue of pride and comfort. When you're old, you are less open to new things, to change, and anything that disrupts your routine can cause unnecessary stress. You just want to be able to stay in your own home where things are familiar and you feel a sense of security with that. Also, pride steps in because if you've been independent all your life, maybe you never really thought of receiving long-term care from a family member much more a total stranger. So the first reaction is to resist any help and deny that you even need it.

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