Why do folks choose to stay in their homes & not get the elder care they need?
I think "nursing home" has the same connotation to you when your 85 as it does when your 35. Loss of freedom, loss of home, "old" people, sickness, death. The longer I live and the more older people I know, I realize that a lot of them still feel like they're 50 when they're 80 or 90. I think it's a tough issue for people to come to terms with even if they know they need to be there.
I would certainly rather stay in my own home and remain independent, no matter how uncomfortable I might sometimes be, than go into a nursing home of some sort where I'd be at the mercy of strangers, however benevolent.
Fear of loosing their independence and their identities maybe. It can't be easy to acknowledge when we are too old or infirm to be independent anymore.
I agree with grinnin1. Most people don't want to give up their independence. It is hard to depend on others especially in this day and age. My grandmother and great-grandmother stayed at home alone until the day they passed away in their 90's. It depends on the person, but some can remain alone at home until they pass on, and I think, more power to them.
OK 1; stop spying on me!
I'm not that old yet and I plan to marry a youngster who can take care of me.
I would say that pride is a big factor. It is very hard to admit, even to yourself / especially to yourself, that you can't do everything like you could in your younger days.
Of course nobody wants to be at the mercy, not really the right word, of others. To depend on doing things in their schedule rather than your own.
If by " elder care", you are suggesting a nursing home or similiar arrangement, I am here to tell you................many of them might as well be at home alone.
Yes, there ARE good homes, and there ARE good employees in poor homes. But 2 good people can not keep up with what 40 poor ones will not do.
I am the kitchen manager, ( in a poorly run one ) and every single day, ( I work 6 days a week) there are residents who come to ME with their needs........because, the aides, LPNS and charge Nurses, don't give a tinkers dammn about them, and they know it! They are some things that I simply am not qualified to do........give medication, prohibited by law, ( showering them or changing them)......I can't even by state law wipe their noses................I might transfer contaminated body fluids to the food.
But I can go to the DON ( she and I have become allies, because, she too, cares) to the Administrator, ( because, I am a trusted employee) and get these things done. I can also sit with them over a cup of coffee, or tea and visit. These are the things that I take time to do, and the residents trust me to do it again tomorrow.
The home that I work in, houses 90-95 residents. It would safe and fair to say, that in the ( 10 months) time I have been there, only 10 have had family visitors. Once most people are put into a " living facility", they are forgotten. At least in those homes that depend on Medicaid- Medicare.
Those homes that cator to the elite and financially independent payors, receive a much better quality of care, and social activities.
I FEAR the day will come, when my Dad can no longer live at home, or when my hubby can not!
My folks stayed in their home because they said they did not want to be sent away to die. Even though they needed the 24 hours 7 day a week care, they refused to be sent to a nursing home. They wanted to die at home. So we gave them that privilege with each of us 6 kids taking turns to care for them. We did hire nurses to come in also.
This is a great question. As a medical alert system company, LifeStation directly serves the audience of seniors looking to age in place but have never really stopped to ask the question of why they want to continue living at home. I suspect that it is primarily a fear of change during a time of life when everything is changing, and not for the better.
I think it's an issue of pride and comfort. When you're old, you are less open to new things, to change, and anything that disrupts your routine can cause unnecessary stress. You just want to be able to stay in your own home where things are familiar and you feel a sense of security with that. Also, pride steps in because if you've been independent all your life, maybe you never really thought of receiving long-term care from a family member much more a total stranger. So the first reaction is to resist any help and deny that you even need it.
by Shil1978 2 years ago
Don't you think we should care for our elderly at home, rather than send them off to nursing homes?
by starme77 6 years ago
what experiences have you had with family members in nursing homes? good? bad?
by Nichol marie 2 years ago
In light of money being everything if your child was kidnapped and you needed to choose betweenlosing all your money to ransom or your child? or what if you had to choose between leaving your job and taking a part time job because your loved one needed your care in sickness?
by Christin Sander 4 years ago
How do you convince your aging parents it's time to give up their home?The wife has leukemia and is getting worse, husband is in denial. Their home has major problems and they don't have the money to fix them. They seem to not take it seriously when we mention their needing to...
by Hypersapien 4 years ago
How should parents deal with lazy, unemployed, still-live-with-Mom-and-Dad adult children?It's one thing if your child loses his job and has to move back home, but how do you deal with one that won't even look for work, thinks you should still provide for all their needs (clean their room, wash...
by AssistedLivingEve 5 years ago
If you had to choose between in home care and facility care, which would you pick for yourself?
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