Are you a people pleaser?

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   Virtual Treasuresposted 13 years ago

   Are you a people pleaser?
   
   If so, do you find yourself resentful or anxious about it?

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2. 0

   WhydThatHappenposted 13 years ago

   People pleaser has a negative connotation to it, as if you have a need to make people happy. In that sense, no. But, if someone's being a downer I'll steer the conversation towards flattering them, so they'll stop being a downer- I sometimes please people for my own benefit, and I might resent or feel anxious about how the other person is going to act, but not about trying to please people.

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      Virtual Treasuresposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Great outlook!  I think that is the best way to be a "people pleaser"!  I guess when I asked the question, I was actually thinking more in the negative sense.  I sometimes have a tough time telling people no.

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3. 60

   kj forceposted 13 years ago

   There are so many different people in the world, how could anyone possibly
   " please " everyone ? I tend to try to accomodate everyone, but, sometimes that is impossible, so the best thing is do what you would want someone to do for you...
   whether it be in the physical sense or just wordage...When it comes to people having a negative or " downer " attitude..I have a little trick that has worked for years...I calmly say " Wow, look at those clouds..love your shoes"..they automatically stop and ask " what did you say ?"..I look them in the eyes and say, "I love your earrings/ lipstick colour/shade of what ever they are wearing... really looks good on you"....it's a sub-liminal mind trick...try it their whole persona changes...

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      Virtual Treasuresposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Those are great tips, kj!  I love the clouds/shoes thing.  I can't wait to try it!

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4. 59

   sen.sush23posted 13 years ago

   Sometimes you need to say 'no' to even your best friend, or lover. I used to be a total failure in those cases. Though I am not the person who tries to please everyone, to get her way through; I am afraid of hurting anybody, even if I actually detest that person. That is really a weakness.
   Saying 'no' as a matter of principle, particularly in professional dealings were not difficult for me, I guess because, there was always a logical understanding that what I was to effect others, and not only one. But when it came to choosing between hurting me and another, I buckled.
   Later, I discovered that stalling the decision for some time, and later taking it up, to state clearly why I don't agree to it, is a better way of saying 'no'. It may displease the other person, but cannot hurt him, if the relationship is meaningful.

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