How did you learn how to say NO and mean it?

1. 60

   tdebrickposted 14 years ago

   How did you learn how to say NO and mean it?
   
   How did you stop being a people pleaser?

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2. 66

   bewisemysonposted 14 years ago

   Sometimes not being able to say no is simply about just that...being a people pleaser.  To please people we can at times go to all sorts of extents.  People have MARRIED people because they were made to feel sorry for them.  People have had sex with people because they felt sorry for them.  Sound extreme?  Well that is the extent some people go to to please others.  Hopefully you dont have it that bad, but you have to begin to realize that its ok to say no.  You have to realize that you CAN say no, and not be mean about it.  Sometimes we feel saying know makes us mean, or makes the other person mad at us,...
   But if you can say no in a nice way, and stick by your guns keeping your temper down (even if you have to repeat it 20 times), then you will realize that saying no isn't SO SO bad.  People have respect for people who stick by their word.  The bible says, let your yes mean yes, and your no mean no.  That's what Jesus did,...doing so will make you a stronger person, and you will be proud of yourself.

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3. 61

   Lovesloveposted 14 years ago

   Easy really just say it and mean it .....I can spell it quite clearly and say it ..NO !!

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4. 68

   medicfrogsposted 14 years ago

   I ended up taking on too many tasks at one time. I was asked to work more hours at my job, play organ for church, write songs for a friend's competition, learn a new instrument for a musical, host lunches on tuesdays, and a few other things, all while going to school. I couldn't say no to people, I overloaded myself and i ended up failing at everything I was asked to do, and inconveniencing a lot of people. After that I learned that it's not only ok, but good to say no once in a while

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5. 60

   winepressposted 14 years ago

   I realized while I was trying to please others none took their time to understand me and I why I do things. I felt cheated and wanted to be accepted the way I am, I begun saying NO and when I say it I mean it.

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6. 60

   slwadeposted 14 years ago

   Every answer I can relate to somehow. I am a complete people pleaser and yes I am extreme at times - my ex was a pity relationship. I love making people happy but sometimes you have to say no, not only to help yourself but the other person. Dont lie just to make people happy.
   
   I would help anyone and really its my mum who thinks the world of me and she is the one person who deserves my time, everyone else either throws it back in my face or just never realises how much I put myself out for them. x

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7. 57

   brittd80posted 14 years ago

   After I had kids it became quite easy (just kidding).  I think it became easy to say No, after I realized that being  a Yes man is much worse in the end if what you are saying yes to is bogus.

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