How can you respond when a person yells at those around him when something upset

1. 70

   brakel2posted 13 years ago

   How can you respond when a person yells at those around him when something upsets him?
   
   Stress turns into anger for some people. Why can't they find better outlets?

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2. 60

   duffsmomposted 13 years ago

   It depends on the situation. I won't tolerate being yelled at by employers or family members.  I am always open to listen but won't be verbally abused or yelled at.
   
   I would walk away until the person yelling calms down, then address it with them.  People that behave like that get something by doing it, whether it is a shock and awe kind of response, or people backing away from them. Something keeps them doing it, some kind of payoff.  It is a form of bulIying and I cannot tolerate a bully, so I would just go away until the situation improves.
   
   They don't find better outlets because their behavior is tolerated.

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      brakel2posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Duffs Mom - I appreciate your answer to the question and to your insight into the problem. Your understanding of human behavior is indeed appreciated.

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3. 89

   Jewelsposted 13 years ago

   Call him on it, and ask what's underneath the anger. Responding with anger yourself only fuels his emotions. Try to talk it all out once he has calmed down.  But you don't and should not put up with it.  I endured decades of my father's uncontrolled anger.  It is really damaging. He needs to get counselling - anger management courses, even though he thinks he doesn't have a problem.  Don't take any blame, push it back onto him, it's his to deal with, ask him to get to the bottom of it so you don't have to walk on eggshells - it's not a good way to live.

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   Anjiliposted 13 years ago

   I usually prefer to keep quiet until they cool down, then raise the same issue on the following day when they are sober enough to discuss their behaviour.

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5. 69

   Sparkle Chiposted 12 years ago

   Why can't they find better outlets? Simple. No one ever taught them a better way to respond. It can be quite difficult to be around people like that.
   
   I have a son who is like that. He takes after his father.. my EX-husband.
   My son is almost twelve now, and I have been working with him to release the excess anger he holds. I have been teaching him how to see things from other perspectives, reframe, meditate, use deep breathing, and use tapping. Utilizing these techniques he is learning better ways to handle stress and anger, and I am seeing amazing results with him.

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      brakel2posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      How did you learn these skills? The techniques sound as if they would work. They are working for you. Could an adult adapt to these techniques?.

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      Sparkle Chiposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Yes! Most definitely! Anyone can learn these techniques!
      I learned what I know from needing to find answers myself..
      I started by teaching him to stop & take what I term a "balloon breath", which is released by "blowing leaves". Easy & effe

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      drsohelposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I sometimes do such thing.. and after doing, I realize, what I've done is not right. Now with the help of my friends, senior colleagues, I've improved a lot. Now I do such things rarely. Self assessment and understanding is essential to overcome this

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6. 74

   moonfairyposted 12 years ago

   I try to walk away, I hate being around negative energy and I'm not a yeller.

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