What are some of the worst things you can say to someone in grief?

Jump to Last Post 1-8 of 8 discussions (14 posts)
  1. brittvan22 profile image80
    brittvan22posted 7 years ago

    What are some of the worst things you can say to someone in grief?

    We all deal with death at one time or another, its a part of all our lives. Sometimes people's hurt can really cut you when you are in the grief process. What are some of the worst well meaning words of comfort you heard when you were in grief?


  2. profile image0
    Starmom41posted 7 years ago

    from my POV, the absolute worst is "it was God's will.'
    another is "everything happens for a reason."
    and, one that can add guilt on top of grief:  "He/she would not want you to be sad."

    1. brittvan22 profile image80
      brittvan22posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Yes those were the thop three ones that I thought were going to make me scream.

  3. profile image0
    JThomp42posted 7 years ago

    The old cliche' "Well they lived a long life". I don't care how long they live, My Grandmother was 75 but it still hurt as badly if she would have been 55.

    1. brittvan22 profile image80
      brittvan22posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I know what you mean, like you should be happy. We all have the right to be hurt when our loved ones die.

    2. profile image0
      JThomp42posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I totally agree.

  4. brittvan22 profile image80
    brittvan22posted 7 years ago

    I agree with you guys those are pretty terrible. I think the best thing someone can say to you is I have no idea how you are feeling and sorry for your loss. Instead they with well wishes and the good intentions in the world slam you with these cliches.

  5. MsDora profile image94
    MsDoraposted 7 years ago

    In addition to what everyone has said, here is a hub that answers that question very efficiently.  ---- "What Not To Say to the Bereaved" by JayDee Sterling.  Follow the thread --Health--Death and Loss of Life--Grief and Bereavement.

    1. brittvan22 profile image80
      brittvan22posted 7 years agoin reply to this


  6. Lisa HW profile image61
    Lisa HWposted 7 years ago

    When my father died (at 62, and I was 21), I was at the funeral home when a well meaning and very religious neighbor came up to me and said, "You shouldn't feel sad.  You feel feel joyous."     At the time I knew her mother, who was still alive; so I thought, "Yeah?  Let's see how joyous you are when your mother dies, you moron!"

    1. brittvan22 profile image80
      brittvan22posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      My sentiments were just like you, except I said if one more person tells me something like that and they have their mother, it's on. Luckily they didn't. Sometimes the best thing is to say nothing or sorry for your loss can't imagine how you feel.

  7. profile image0
    LikaMarieposted 7 years ago

    Well, it depends...  I lost a baby and was told "He wasn't meant to be".  That was definitely the worst.

    My grandpa died at 99.5, and he would look at my grandma in bed and just weep...  There was nothing to comfort him, and God finally took him out of his own inner struggle.  It broke my heart to see my Grandpa in this state, and for his benefit, I was glad he is no longer suffering, and is with God.  Yet everyone kept saying they're sorry...  Yeah, sure, I'm sorry he couldn't stay with us, but, more happy for him for not having to stay.

  8. kj force profile image66
    kj forceposted 7 years ago

    I know just how you feel......oh well, at least they are not suffering anymore....oh well, they were old and sickly...you must feel so relieved taking care of them was a lot of work....these believe it or not are  " stupid "things that were said when my
    Nana died....at age 97...2 days after my Grandfather's death....she told him on his death bed that she would be there as soon as she could.....that's LOVE....

    1. brittvan22 profile image80
      brittvan22posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      People should take more care in what they say, I agree with you, so sorry for your losses. That is beautiful. For me, I lost 3 VIP in 3 months, Mom and 2 uncles; some of the words made me want to clock  them and say really? Thank for your input!


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)