To all introverts out there, what are the 10 WORST things that EXTROVERTED parents can do
and /or say to an INTROVERTED child?
I don't have a list of 10, but I know one of the worst things my mother ever tried to do with me is force me to go on a blind date with a coworker's son.
It was horribly awkward because we both did not want to be there. Thankfully, we were both adult enough to discuss that and decided not to treat it as a date like our parents wanted but an opportunity to hang out with friends. So we invited several people on our "date" and ended up having a decent evening and never speaking to each other again after that.
You need to stop being so shy and just talk to people. They won't like you if you don't talk to them.
People are going to think you're weird if you keep acting that way.
Stop being such a baby.
Making fun of comforting gestures. I would wring my hands a lot or sit on my hands when I felt uncomfortable and my dad would mock me for doing it. He thought it was lighthearted teasing, I felt it was judgmental and cruel.
One of my teachers - a teacher! called my mother to tell her I was weird. I daydreamed a lot and was just an odd child. That really brought out the "we need to fix her" aspect in my parents... sigh.
I was told I had my head in the clouds all the time and I was too imaginative a LOT. I would rather read, write or draw than play with other kids so I was stigmatized. If I did play with other kids I only wanted one maybe two playmates at a time - whole groups of kids in the neighborhood made me uncomfortable.
People often don't understand introverted children tend to also have hyperactive emotional lives - they internalize everything. I was an extremely introverted child and it was hell having parents who didn't understand me or who thought they could make me "better" by trying to force me to be otherwise. All it did was end up making me feel like a total freak and made me more vulnerable to bad influences because I would do anything to gain some acceptance. I outgrew all that as an adult, but there was damage done for sure.
Uh huh, TELL ME about it. I underwent the same thing as you do. I am still an introvert and DARN PROUD of it.
Oh man I was/am the same way. I see that my son is a bit introverted as well and my husband is a complete extrovert. Even though my son is just a toddler, I still have to stop my husband sometimes from being insensitive in the way he parents him.
Hmm this is kind of a tough question but here's what I think based off of my childhood and from raising my son who is a bit introvert.
1. Force the child to socialize and shame them if they don't want to.
2. Compare the child to other children.
3. Force them to share their feelings you want them too when they want to sharein different ways; such as writing it in a letter or drawing a picture.
4. Being impatient.
5. Yelling or being forceful and intimidating.
6. Ignoring their needs and feelings just because they have trouble expressing them.
7. Making them do clubs or activities you want them to, rather than acknowledge their interests.
8. Making fun of or teasing them because they are shy/introvert
9. Tell them that you wish they were different.
10. Deciding not to bother with them or not trying to understand them.
Most of the list has already been written here, so I don't have ten. However, here's what I'd like to add:
* Turning their backs on their kids when they're being bullied (introverts are often victimized this way). Making stupid excuses for the bullies' behavior, blaming the victim and forcing them to make friends with them.
* Constantly warning them of dire consequences for being introverts ("You won't be able to get a job, boyfriend, etc.)
* Criticizing little things they do. ("Why you always readin' all the time?" "What's the matter?" "Smile!" "Why you lookin' at that?" "Why you always by yourself?" "Why do you associate with people of a different race?") Etc, Etc.
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