Can anyone give me some ideas to help me not to isolate?

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   stanwshuraposted 12 years ago

   Can anyone give me some ideas to help me not to isolate?
   
   I suffer from major depression (and myriad other health issues including a brain disorder, a learning disability, visual processing and memory issues, OCD, and wicked anxiety).  I tend to hole up and just rot away.  I try to find SOMETHING to do, but even that task - that monumental decision, seems too overwhelming.  Does anyone have some "hitting the ground running"-usable suggestions to find a way out from under this cloud?  When left to my own devices, I'm a lump.  Even using my cell phone is beginning to bore and overwhelm me!   Blech.

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   Seek-n-Findposted 12 years ago

   I'm sorry to hear about the situation you are in.  I believe that there is a root cause for everything we experience--especially the things you describe.  Sometimes the way out is the way through and the way through is the way under--to the bottom--to the root--and not alone. 
   
   I'm just going to give you my honest answer.  I believe that when you were born, this is not the plan God had for you.  He created you carefully and with purpose and for a reason.  He planted a passion inside of you.  It sounds like all these things that have come against you have stolen from you.  Stolen from your true identity, your purpose, and dampened or maybe even suppressed/buried your passion.  You were never meant to find things to do to pass time but to live a life doing something meaningful to you.
   
   I believe these negative things have come against you are from the enemy of your soul.  This enemy is described as one who "kills, steals, and destroys."  I share these things because I think that if you could get in touch with your true self and your passion and your purpose and know who you really are, that would be a part of the process as a way out.  Your identity is not the illness or the conditions.  I believe that an encounter with the living God can bring healing, health, light, love, passion, purpose, and goodness. 
   
   It is truth that sets free a person free and that truth is rooted in an unfailing love and partners with grace which strengthens, enables, and works through a person.  Do you like to read books?  Listen to audio messages?  Watch videos?  I can make some recommendations if you would like.  Not just "information" but "revelation."  I'm not religious--but I love God and believe he is not always represented well by those who who call themselves by a label that sounds good, but doesn't demonstrate the love of God in power.  I can't pretend to know exactly what you are going through, but I did  used to suffer from depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and suicidal thoughts at one time in my life.  I also used to get sick all the time. 
   
   I'm alive to day because of God.  Not only am I alive, but I rarely get sick anymore.  And the depression, anxiety, worry, panic--all GONE!  It's a miracle.  People who knew me during that rough phase of my life would not recognize me today.  I will pray for you and please let me know if you'd like links to some of those resources I mentioned--I think they could bring illumination and freedom.  I'm rooting for you.

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      stanwshuraposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you, 'Seek-n-Find' for your kindness and warm, thorough advice.  I feel even now just a smidge better knowing that there are people like you in the world.

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      Abby Campbellposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      You are so compassionate, Seek-n-Find. We need more people like you. :-) Stan, I agree with her completely.

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      Sarra Garrettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      what a nice comment.

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   Goodpalposted 12 years ago

   Hello Stan,
   
   You have a terrific style of writing - remarkably expressive and crustal clear! I am not interested in the labels you have used to describe yourself; they don't describe anything positive; therefore give a lopsided picture. The only thing they conveyed is that you appear to be in the "rock bottom of life." What you wrote here tells me that you have a great fighter inside you. But as things stand: Bad things happen to Good People to help them get even better and evolve into inspiring human beings.
   
   I fully understand your pain, anguish and frustration and empathize with you from the core of my heart. Your words reminded me that 14 years ago I was in similar situation (with somewhat different labels). On advise of a good friend I surrendered myself to meditation and serving people (imagine a person in near total depression, acute asthma, no shelter, no money and 100 percent negative mind making efforts to smile and helping others). There are higher forces and the law of Karma to helps us when there is no other help. This has been my most valuable discovery while struggling to come out of the "rock bottom" of my life.
   
   Here is what I learned; it might give you strength too.
   
   1. You are much stronger than you think you are!
   2. Accept this phase of life with humility.
   3. You are a being separate from body and mind. Let the body and mind stay with unpleasant feelings, "you" step aside to be a witness. Developing mindfulness helps ( I have some hubs on this topic).
   4. It is a fact that there are always higher forces waiting to assist you. Strengthen this conviction inside you.
   5. No pain can last for ever; not even this one.
   
   In order to fight the tendency to "hole up", develop a new habit of conscious and deep breathing and keep busy without aiming for anything in particular. Read inspiring books - have you heard of the Chicken Soup series? Positive thoughts is all you need; they are like light where no darkness can survive.
   
   I invite you to respond to this answer and tell me about all the good qualities you have. That's the real YOU I am interested in!
   
   Have a wonderful day!

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      stanwshuraposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Goodpal, you are so kind and very generous with your encouragement; I will try hard to apply it. Tooting my own horn is awkward, but at your invitation, here goes: I love kids and they me; I am tenacious; I crave justice-for everyone;  I won't quit..

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      Goodpalposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      There are times when we have to be our own advocate. You need the positive aspect of yourself to come forward and help you fight the negative forces. Recall all the wonderful things that you have done for kids and others; do it again and again. )

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      stanwshuraposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you, Goodpal.  Thanks for the encouragement and support.

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   nurseleahposted 12 years ago

   I second Goodpal's response. It is right to the point. As a psych nurse and someone who has suffered from major depression as well, I know the feelings you are describing and the magnetism of isolation. I know what it is like when just being is too much to bear. There have been times I wish I could just disintegrate into the bed, because being there and being alive one more moment seemed too overwhelming. When I got that low, the only thing that helped me was medication and it was like pulling my own teeth to take it. I took it because I couldn't stand the feelings anymore, and I didn't have the energy to act on any suicidal thoughts. I don't know if you see a mental healthcare practitioner, but if you don't, I strongly encourage you to try it. I am not saying that you absolutely must have medications to survive this, but I am saying a mental healthcare practitioner might have some suggestions that are very specific to your needs. If you do take medications, I would venture to say they are not quite right as far as the specific drug or dosage. Psychotherapy, particularly cognitive-behavioral therapy, is another good place to start if you haven't already. A good therapist can help you figure out a plan to deal with the feelings you are having.
   
   And one last thing--If you are considering or have recently been thinking of suicide, re-read what Goodpal said: "No pain can last forever. Not even this one." It does get better. There are reasons to live. Make a list of the reasons to survive and see another day. And by all means, tell someone what you are thinking. I felt so ashamed of my thoughts of suicide that I wouldn't tell even my closest friends until the thoughts were gone and that's a scary thing to me now looking back. Even though there is a huge stigma regarding mental illness and suicide, people who love you will want to help you and they want to know if you are thinking of dying.
   
   My thoughts are with you and I will continue to follow this question and respond to any other questions or concerns you have.
   
   -Nurseleah

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      stanwshuraposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you, Nurseleah.  Your thoughtful words and kindness mean a lot.

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      Goodpalposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      You see stanwshura, you have a lot of support here. Support means goodwll, empathy, trust, sharing and caring. Ignoring everything outside, just focus inside and do everything to keep the mind positive, which is the biggest SUPPORT. Good Day!

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   Kevin Peterposted 12 years ago

   Just try to smile at anyone you meet. It's the best solution to solve this problem. Best wishes.

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      stanwshuraposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I appreciate your thoughts, Kevin.  Thanks for chiming in.

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   Abby Campbellposted 12 years ago

   Stan - I'm so sorry for what you're going through. But, you are not alone. I know I've hit rock bottom many times. I have a 25 year old daughter with autism and schizophrenia and lives in a rest home. Dealing with that situation is tough in itself, but the hurt I feel for her is overwhelming. I also have many other complicated issues on top of that. So many times, I have stayed in my PJs and in bed, not wanting to do anything... and definitely not be bothered by social media or the phone. Though these times are tough for me... for you... and for anyone else who goes through it, I believe it's a time for rest. Out of that rest will come reflection and growth.
   
   On another note, dealing with depression is not only affected by the psyche. It is also affected by the physical. Our bodies build up toxins over time. Without the right nutrients, they only build up more... causing depression, anxiety, and a host of other issues. Sometimes, a detox is a good way to get back on track. Other times, nutrition needs to be a focus. When our physical being is treated with care, the domino effect will come with the psyche. They go hand in hand. I know that some will recommend medication, and that is totally a personal choice. However, I know what medication can do to a person both physically and psychologically as I've seen the effects my handicapped daughter has had to go through. My recommendation would be to begin with good nutrition. Try to keep an all natural diet. Add a couple of supplements in such as a good multi-vitamin for men as well as fish oil. I just wrote an article yesterday on fish oil and its benefits. When I was doing some research on it, I was astonished about the effects it has for the brain and the psyche. Anyway, this is a natural method you can try to get you going if you wish.
   
   Please keep us updated on how you're doing. Please know that you have friends here. That is obvious by those who have answered you with their most compassionate messages. HUGS!
   
   Abby

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      stanwshuraposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for your  suggestions and perspective, Abby.   Yeah "PJ days" just suck.

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      Abby Campbellposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Good morning, Stan. I hope you're doing better than last week. So, how are you?

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   Sarra Garrettposted 12 years ago

   Hi stanwshura:  I too have major depression, anxiety and on top of it have recently been poisioned by a landlord so I'm physically ill with a lung disorder.  Of course depression and anxiety do not help my physical wellbeing and this past month has been almost unbearable for me to even exist.  Do you have a dog?  I have 5 who are rescues and without them I would be totally lost and would feel so unloved.  We rely on each other (me to them more so).  When there is no one around to talk to they are always there for me.  The days I don't want to get out of bed my dogs make sure I do get up as they need to go outside.  Depression is awful and is hard to heal, I know.  You are not alone my friend and if you want to shoot me an email I'd be more than happy to talk with you  Maybe we can figure out something together as a suppport for each other.  Remember, this will pass, we have to be strong and we need support from the outside to ride out this storm.

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      stanwshuraposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      You havve some useful and neat ideas (I'm an animal lover, too   ).  Thank you for your compassion.

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   GiveMeNoLinesposted 12 years ago

   Stan, I am on the far side of that dark tunnel, almost near the light.  There still are days when I don't get out of the house, but I try to.  The one thing I suggest is get outside for 10-15 minutes in the sunshine.  You don't have to do anything but sit there.  It will make you feel better just getting out.
   
   Next, brush your teeth first and then go outside.  Then keep adding on.  Change your clothes, brush your teeth, and then go outside, etc., etc.
   
   I don't make this every day, but I try.  And that's all you need to do, is try, and then you will find yourself doing more and more.
   
   One of the silly things I tried, I was listening to Joyce Meyer (look her up).  She said to get up and say, "This is the day the Lord has made.  I WILL rejoice and be glad."  Say it with conviction.  It helps me.
   
   Last but not least, you have to do some soul searching.  What happened growing up, in your marriage, at work, etc., that you took negatively or didn't like?  Write this down.  Reread it and then write what you're feeling, good or bad.  Don't hold back.  Keep doing this until you have released every negative emotion.  Forgive yourself and others for things done or perceived done. 
   
   YOU ARE WORTH THE FIGHT!

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      stanwshuraposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you very much, GMNL.  I will definitely try your ideas.  And you know the advice is coming from an empathetic place when it considers all the myriad mountains we feel we have to climb just to *get ouside, or even out of bed!  Thanks again vm.

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