Why do people have difficulty asking for help?
people manage situations that are beyond the capability and capacity until things get really messed up
Misplaced pride keeps many people from asking for help.
Other reasons may include being embarrassed over bad choices they've made which led to their dire circumstances, not wanting to (feel) obligated or indebted to anyone, and having a lack of trust that any helper would be discrete.
It takes a certain amount of courage to admit one doesn't have all the answers when they've made it their life's mission not to appear at a lost when it comes to controlling or dealing with things .
Very few people are willing to reveal their insecurities and fears. An old quote states: "Better to be silent and thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." Inherently the message is to avoid looking stupid. Pride keeps people from avoiding the appearance of being weak or not having it "together" in some way.
some people have ego problem and they dont ask and some are shy and some dont trust so there can be variety of reasons why people dont and try to solve them on their own but when everything gets messed up they call for help because after that they dont have any other option to do
Americans in particular are attached to that old independent pioneer, "pull-yourself-up by the bootstraps" mentality. There's a great under-tone of rugged individualism and independence to the detriment of society. It has developed from a misunderstanding, I believe, of the concept of government's aid to individuals. When the government subsidized our health insurance payments so we didn't have to pay $800 a month while my husband was laid off, a friend, dear as she is, made the comment that her family doesn't accept "hand-outs". In regard to charity from churches, people don't want to accept help because being of good moral character, they feel they'd have to "pay back" by embracing the particular faith of that church even though the people giving attach no strings. It's an internal obligation that the recipient feels, but to which he or she doesn't want to commit.
As for asking family or friends, Americans especially, won't do that because of the obligation they think they will will incur. There is also quote from Ben Franklin that is alive and well in this culture "neither a borrower nor a lender be". It is also felt that money passed between relatives or friends has the potential of severing the relationship. It's terribly unfortunate because if families would band together as some of my students' families from other countries do, we'd progress much more rapidly. The lack of money holds us back. Right now, my cousin inherited a great deal of money and has her own money that she just doesn't know what to do with. If she would simply OFFER to, let's say, give me a loan to have my ebook in print form, I could begin to do well. But I won't ask her. Even a loan to us at a low interest rate to pay off the RV that we owe on would save us a great deal of interest payments. However, I feel that I could never call her and tell her that we went out to a restaurant to eat. She would consider that an extravagance.
The best we can do with this knowledge is recognize that "money up-front" as I call it, helps our children and our friends, the majority of whom are responsible individuals. "Tough love" and holding back is holding EVERYONE back. So it's important to be generous of heart. The solution for those who are wealthy and want to overcome the stereotypes I painted, is to NOT OFFER, just GIVE without expecting anything in return. Be astute to a person's needs, don't worry about "enabling," have faith in people, and give if you have it to give.
Some of the reasons I have difficulty asking for help.
I don't really know what to ask or how to ask the question.
If I ask for help they might ask me a question that I don't know the answer too.
Others a busy and I don't want to bother them.
Others helping gets in my way and I would rather work independently.
Nobody around me has the right knowledge or skills.
Sometimes I learn better through trial and error than by someone teaching me.
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