Is there a real difference between having a "midlife crisis" and pursuing items

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   dashingscorpioposted 10 years ago

   Is there a real difference between having a "midlife crisis" and pursuing items on a "bucket list"?
   
   A 50 year old man who buys a Corvette is often accused of having a "midlife crisis". However in all honesty this may have been a dream of his since childhood and when he was a "young man" he simply couldn't afford a $54k car! Is the so called "midlife crisis" really just society's way of putting an "expiration date stamp" on people's dreams? After a certain age is pursuing items on a "bucket list" a sign that one is going through a "midlife crisis? Should it be up to the "dreamer" to decide when it's time to give up their dreams?
   
   

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   helenstuartposted 10 years ago

   "Know Thyself." It's nobody else's business why the man buys the car, but he should be aware of his own motives, is he doing it to fulfill his own dreams and wishes or to try to recirculate his vision of lost youth and chances. Both of the terms "midlife crisis" and "bucket list" are so negative and try to put us all into a stereotypical box. We just need to be self actualized, ideally, we could do this without a Corvette, but I guess this is the "real" world, so if you gotta spend $54K to find out you didn't need to spend it in order to be happier, go ahead. It's just money. The difference between a midlife crisis and a bucket list scenario, is that in a midlife crisis you are trying to prove something to yourself and to everyone else, that you still measure you, you can still recapture what you really cannot, (your youth) and in the case of a bucket list, you are acknowledging and coming to grips with your mortality, even celebrating it, by doing things and aquiring things that will enhance your remaining time, however long that is, in this realm. You want to experience as much as possible and its very personal to you, and (if you believe you have one) your Maker.

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      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      "in the case of a bucket list, you are acknowledging and (coming to grips with your mortality), even celebrating it, by (doing things and acquiring things) that will enhance your remaining time." Many would call that a "midlife crisis"! LOL!

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   Marketing Meritposted 10 years ago

   Have you bought yourself a Corvette then Dashing Scorpio?!!
   
   Yes, there is definitely a difference as a midlife crisis is typically accompanied by anxiety and/or depression. Ultimately, it depends upon the reasons behind the purchase of the Corvette (or whatever item).
   
   If it is a vain attempt to recapture youth, and a realization that life is not infinite, then yes, it may be considered a midlife crisis. But then again, the definition of what exactly constitutes a 'midlife crisis' is, in itself, open to debate.
   
   We should all have dreams and aspirations. These are positive motivators in helping us to achieve the very best that we can. Quite often, these ambitions stem from our younger years. I'm sure we can all recall saying to ourselves, "One day, I'm going to have a car, house, boat etc just like that."
   
   Only the purchaser knows if he/she is accomplishing a dream/personal goal. It is nobody else's place to judge.

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      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      No Corvette for me! "Only the purchaser knows if he/she is accomplishing a dream/personal goal" I agree with that statement. Nevertheless others are prone to making "judgment statements". By the way I prefer the term "midlife awakening"

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   Sri Tposted 10 years ago

   There is a difference. The keyword is "crisis". Which means there is a "problem" with self perception. There is no need for it. Everybody is headed to the river. So it's better to enjoy every moment. The bucket list is just things to do before crossing over. They can be fun, amusing things, or just longings that a person never got around to. But it's not a crisis. The bucket list is to be enjoyed.

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      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Sounds like you're saying "perception" is the key difference. Actually the individual never considers him or herself to be in a "midlife crisis". It's always those people who are close to them that say they're in a "crisis".

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   peeplesposted 10 years ago

   When i think of midlife crisis I think of things people do that while enjoyable, may be destructive. When I hear bucket list I think of productive hope to do dreams.
   I don't think of bucket list items as things that are reality, but rather things that are out of reach for the most part. Things we hope to get to, but not realistic enough to consider goals. I would love to jump out of an airplane, but realistically this is likely to never happen. So I consider it a bucket list item instead of a goal.
   If a middle aged man were to buy an expensive car, and could afford to it would be no different than any other person buying a car to me. However if that man was buying the car and could NOT afford it, then I would consider it a "midlife crisis".
   There is a big difference between reaching for dreams, and being an idiot.

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      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      "I don't think of bucket list items as things that are reality, but rather things that are (out of reach) for the most part." Peeples you could schedule an airplane jump this spring! It's easily within reach! Onlookers label actions destructive

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   Dr Billy Kiddposted 10 years ago

   I call it a "Life List." At 35 I wrote down a list of things I wanted to accomplish before time passed me by. Then I make a short list of what I could do to work towards these goals over the next five years. Then I wrote an action plan for the next six month listing what I had to do to work towards the five year list. I updated the plan every six months. I put these lists on my bedroom door.
   A midlife crisis is simply looking back and getting an idea about what goals one has not achieved. And then freaking out.
   Buying a Harley Davidson cycle is fulfilling the dream of being young again.
   A bucket list is a death wish! That's because you start with the premise that it's almost over.

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      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Recognizing that time waits for no one is what I call a "midlife awakening"!
      "Youth is wasted on the young" - George Bernard Shaw.
      Dr Billy Kidd you sound like a goal oriented person. If you had a "bucket list" you'd complete it ahead of time!

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      Dr Billy Kiddposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Yeah!

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   Say Yes To Lifeposted 10 years ago

   I see nothing wrong with either one, especially if your midlife crisis doesn't hurt anybody.  In fact, you may discover you're not as decrepit as you believe you are.  I had hit bottom at age 40, having suffered Nervous Breakdown #3 over a particularly horrific job situation.  My brother rescued me and brought me to live with him.  I was unemployed for 4 months; I decided to use that time to get physically fit and see if I could still run a mile without stopping, as I had once when I was 14.  Not only did I accomplish this, but it took me only 3 months of training, as opposed to the 7 months it had taken me in high school!  I have since run a lot farther.
   My "midlife crisis" taught me that people reach their endurance peak at 40.  Notice most people running marathons are that age, or older!

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      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I believe most people hate to see "change". It makes them feel insecure when their loved one decides to do something considered "out of character". The label "midlife crisis" is hurled at them in hopes of getting them to stop going after dreams.

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   Diana Leeposted 10 years ago

   There is nothing wrong with having dreams or pursuing our goals.  I write a list of goals every year.  Some years I am able to cross most from my list and other years I'm lucky to have a couple, but that's what keeps us going and not giving up on life.

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   1. 70

      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Very true.

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