What are the 5 ways that the sibling relationship is based upon UNEQUAL parity as far as the oldest/
older children in the family are concerned from childhood and even throughout adulthood? In sibling relationships, it is the oldest/older children who carry MOST, if not ALL, of the weight. It is a ONE way street for the oldest/older children while the youngest/younger children seldom take an active participatory role in the sibling relationship. In childhood, this is understandable depending upon respective ages of the siblings in question but in adulthood, the oldest/older siblings bears the emotional, psychological, and the financial burden/responsibility of the sibling relationship.
This picture illustrates very well the dilemma. It is great to be the leader, the first one, the one who can make some decisions etc… then you are responsible for so much and so many sometimes. I realized how hard it could be when I discovered in my mid twenties that I hadn't make choices for myself in my life because of my responsibilities… i dropped everything and emigrated before realizing I was suffocating under a perfect image of daddy's big girl. I also had a lot of guilt about my younger siblings going wrong, I felt like I needed to me more present and direct them a little more, truth is I was a teen myself and was blinded in my own world of confusion. Parents need to make sure they don't put too much responsibility on their eldest and give them TLC and quality time, because they do need a lot of it.
Though, I was not the eldest, I was the oldest girl and treated like the one. Then, I often think about all the responsibilities my late older brother used to have as a child… hard. He was even a daddy to me after my father passed. Very responsible, protective and strengthening. I know that my little brother and sister do look up to m, love me and respect me almost as a mother. There is a special place for good elders, like there is a special place for every one of us in a family… and in our hearts.
by Michelle Clairday 4 years ago
At what age did you leave your older child home alone with a younger sibling?
by Grace Marguerite Williams 8 months ago
Why do parents of large to very large families tend to delegate the raising of the youngerchildren to the oldest sibling? Many parents from large to very large families (6 or more children) state that they have little or no part in raising their children, they purport that they...
by Tom Radford 5 years ago
Do you think that your sibling position effects your confidence and approach to others?I'm the youngest of five. As a child my opinon was seldom heard or listened to. I grew up feeling like a nuisance and would be loud and outrageous to mask it. My partner is the oldest of three, she is wracked by...
by CheapInMadrid 3 years ago
Is it an extra challenge to be an older sibling?Being an older brother and sister can mean multiple expectations from parents,siblings,extended family and the community.How does one choose the life they want to live without alienating loved ones?How can a balance be struck?When and how does one be...
by jagandelight 8 months ago
Do you think an only child is better off more than they are with siblings?
by Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago
child as far as birth orders/ family constellations go?
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