Did you ever have a crisis only to discover the support system you thought you had was non-existent?
When my 5-year-old son was diagnosed with autism, I thought I had a solid group of family, friends, and co-workers to help me through this terrible time (the worst in my life). However, I quickly discovered that my support system was not supportive at all. I never felt so scared, alone, and hopeless. Now, 10 years later, my son is doing great (he's high functioning), but I've never gotten over the hurt and shock of not getting the support I so desperately needed. Has something similar happened to you and how did you cope?
Generally speaking at most in my life I may have needed to (borrow) some money once or twice and even with that I paid it back (asp).
I'm not sure if I'm unique but I have few expectations of my family and friends other than no backstabbing, betrayal, or toxic behavior.
I have no problem removing them out of my circle if they did.
My philosophy is "Life is a (personal) journey" and you get to (choose) who you spend your time with.
There are two ways people become disappointed with friends & family.
1. They made (hypothetical) "assumptions" or "expectations".
2. Family and friends (actually promised them) but failed to deliver.
I also believe it's human nature for people to believe their friends and family would do things for them because the individual would do it for (them). Nevertheless that's not their friends or family's fault.
I suspect there are lots of elderly folks with adult children who never imagined they'd end up living in nursing homes!
They (assumed) their children would take them into their homes during those final years.
The only way to cope with disappointment is to forgive them for not living up to (your) expectations and forgive (yourself) for assuming they would act as you would given the same set of circumstances.
More often than not the disappointment is with the (degree) people are willing to assist us. Most people aren't going to do much that causes them discomfort or puts a strain on their marriage/household. Our problems are not their problems.
We learn to accept whatever help they are (comfortable) giving.
You also have to always be looking for programs and services that specialize in offering assistance to people in specific circumstances.
The only person we can change is ourselves.
In order to move on you have to let go.
Wow, there's a lot of truth in all you say. The help I received for my son and me came from professionals, not family and friends. I've learned to be pleasantly surprised when family offers support, but never expect it.
I love the term "pleasantly surprised" as a way of living.
I may have to borrow it from you!
Making assumptions and having expectations often leads to heartache and disappointment. Best wishes!
by Sunnyglitter 8 years ago
I'm 5 months pregnant, and my boyfriend recently planned a cruise out of the country behind my back. He is going with his parents, friends, and pretty much everybody except me. We are in a serious relationship, so this was completely shocking...it's not like he's some random guy I've...
by Julio E Olmo Sr 5 years ago
This was the 'least offensive' tweet sent during a loss to the Chicago Bulls
by Debby Bruck 7 years ago
Why do people give up their dreams?As we get older do we get disappointed or feel jaded?
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|