Is it my business?

Jump to Last Post 1-7 of 7 discussions (17 posts)
  1. Farawaytree profile image97
    Farawaytreeposted 2 years ago

    Is it my business?

    Is it my business to be outspoken about smoking when a family member who is a mother of two young children says she loves smoking cigarettes all day and doesn't care if she dies young?

  2. Annsalo profile image84
    Annsaloposted 2 years ago

    I have a rule of thumb about things like that. Is it my body? Is it guaranteed to hurt someone else? If the answer is no to both those questions then it is none of my business.

    Since there is no guarantee your family member will die from smoking then it is none of your business. As much as we may not like some things it's best to avoid telling others what we think they should do.

    If it were me, I would offer my unsolicited advice once, then mind my own business.

    1. Aime F profile image84
      Aime Fposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Well, there's a high probability that she's hurting her kids via secondhand smoke.

    2. Annsalo profile image84
      Annsaloposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, but do we go around telling parents they can't feed their children junk food because it is slowly killing them? I agree it MAY impact the children, but the OP didn't specify if mom smokes around the kids.

    3. Farawaytree profile image97
      Farawaytreeposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      I tend to agree with you, and I have not yet tried to lecture her in any way. She, however, is the type of person who likes to tell people how to live yet no one is allowed to do the same to her. She thinks she's a real rebel because she smokes.

    4. RTalloni profile image88
      RTalloniposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      The children suffer from breathing the second-hand smoke.  The long-term health risks are becoming more apparent to pediatricians, but the suffering from being trapped with it in houses and cars is immediately awful.

    5. Annsalo profile image84
      Annsaloposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      When I answered she didn't say she smoked around children. I smoke and NEVER smoke around my kids so I wasn't going to assume the worst.

  3. Aime F profile image84
    Aime Fposted 2 years ago

    I would probably focus more on why, especially as a mother of two young kids, she doesn't care if she dies.  That's not a very healthy attitude to have in regards to her own health, and she doesn't seem to be thinking about how that would affect her children.  Kinda sounds like a cry for help to me.  I hate smoking but in this case I think it sounds like more of a symptom than the actual root of the problem. 

    That said, if she's smoking around the kids all day I'd have a really hard time not being vocal about that.

    1. Farawaytree profile image97
      Farawaytreeposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, that's a good answer.... thanks!

  4. CrescentSkies profile image89
    CrescentSkiesposted 2 years ago

    If you only go so far as berating her for smoking around her children then it's still the scope of your business. Whether they're your children or not they're your family and you have an inherent interest in their well being. If you berate her for not caring about her own life over the use of tobacco then you've probably gone too far. That decision and opinion is stupid, but it's hers to deal with.

    She'll probably come to her senses around the point when she's unable to smoke anymore physically and has to live for years under the constant desire to smoke and the constant pain and suffering she brought upon herself.

    1. Farawaytree profile image97
      Farawaytreeposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, she also complains that she is sick almost daily so I suppose she just doesn't think it's the smoking. She has a smoke den in her garage but does also smoke around the kids. Thanks for your answer and I hope one day she does come to her senses.

  5. iggy7117 profile image73
    iggy7117posted 2 years ago

    I feel if she wants to kill herself that is her choice. If she is exposing it to the children then you should say something to her or maybe try to take it farther by reporting it as abuse.

    I may be prejudiced in this answer because I deal with asthma and have copd from a smoke filled childhood home. My parents knew It was making me sick because they were taking me for allergy shots for pollen and smoke. It has affected my life.

    It should be a form of child abuse.

    1. Farawaytree profile image97
      Farawaytreeposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Very true, and I'm sorry for your experience. I think it started to upset me when she smoked while pregnant. Her husband begged her to stop but she wouldn't. I think her children would miss her a lot if she did die from cancer due to cigarettes.

    2. RTalloni profile image88
      RTalloniposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      In this day and time, with all the knowledge we now have about the effects, it is child abuse.

  6. RTalloni profile image88
    RTalloniposted 2 years ago

    Of course you want to be outspoken about it.  That the woman needs help is evidenced in her selfishness.  Smoking is not her biggest problem, though from experience I can tell you that the children are suffering from the second-hand smoke.  She cares only about what she wants at any given moment and it is important to be aware that she does not even really care about herself. 

    The important thing is to be effective in addressing the issue.  Much thought should go into the approach if you decide to do it.  For your own sake it is also important to realize that such people simply walk away from good advice and take the children with them.  If you can spend time with the children away from the woman (difficult to call her mother) that would be a good thing, but not possible if she knows you have strong feelings about her behavior.

    Your goals should be carefully assessed by considering her attitudes and what you can expect from any effort to help her.  For instance, she already knows the truth about her behavior and her response proves it.  What you want to achieve will help you measure your tactic(s) in helping the children. 

    Do you want to spend time with them?  Do you want to develop a network of family members who will spend time with them?  Do you want to approach her from the perspective of offering parenting classes?   Or, is the best hope for the children to remain quiet as a family member and encourage the woman to have them involved in outside activities that would expose her to others who would discourage the smoking.

  7. tamarawilhite profile image91
    tamarawilhiteposted 2 years ago

    Saying so once in a while out of concern for her health is reasonable.
    Based on the tacky response, I think she was being mean in response to perceived nagging by you.
    A different approach may be better.
    Try giving the family a couple of electrostatic air filters to clean the air, take the kids to the park to get them out of it while looking kind, give her over the counter treatments to use in place of nicotine.

    1. Farawaytree profile image97
      Farawaytreeposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you smile

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)