How do you cope when you keep failing to get what you want?

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   Happylovejoyposted 8 years ago

   How do you cope when you keep failing to get what you want?
   
   Life is difficult and the worst feeling is to keep failing to get what you desire in life.So how do you cope when this happens?
   
   

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   Cissy1946posted 8 years ago

   When I was young I just got angry and that fed what I realized later was my bad attitude. Eventually I started asking myself why I always seemed to fail and the answer I came up with wasn't very flattering. Once I accepted my part in my failings things got better. Now that I'm older I understand that failure is just another learning tool. Without it we would never develop empathy and understanding for others and we would just walk through life as selfish and self-centered as we were when we were children. I still don't like to fail but at least now I know that it will happen from time to time and  if I put my share of the work into whatever I'm trying to accomplish and still fail, I can walk away with my self-esteem and confidence intact.

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      Happylovejoyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Yes..I do think most times we have some part to play in our failures..sometimes I must also remind myself to enjoy the process too..and not be so fixated on the endpoint or outcome..

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3. 88

   Austinstarposted 8 years ago

   You are never going to get what you want all the time.
   Decide on some smaller goals and work toward getting those the way you want them to be.
   Then, with practice, you will be able to set bigger and bigger goals that are achievable.

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   tamarawilhiteposted 8 years ago

   If you are setting goals you can't achieve or will likely fail at, like losing 100 pounds this year or getting back an ex partner who is married, you're setting yourself up for failure.
   If you want to set goals and achieve them, they must be:
   * measurable, like losing 40 pounds this year or more active or saving up for a replacement car
   * actionable, something you can actually do something about, don't set goals that depend on others
   * incremental, so you plan to use up 500 calories a day, so either workout more or eat less, or save $50 a week toward the new car

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      Happylovejoyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Practical tips..thanks!

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   dashingscorpioposted 8 years ago

   
   
   Oftentimes this is the result of someone refusing to remember the times they did get what they want!
   This is what keeps them from keeping things in perspective.
   Secondly it's important to have a plan complete with milestones to keep someone on track to reach their goal.
   Whenever you don't get what you want explore why you didn't. Was it something beyond your control? Were your expectations too unrealistic to begin with? Did you gather information, make the right contacts, really put in the maximum effort?...etc
   (Learn from your mistakes and make adjustments.)
   Lastly you should have so many things that you want that even when you don't get some of them your life is still wonderful!
   The world may not owe you anything but (you) owe yourself the world!

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      Happylovejoyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for the great reminder..we should still count our blessings and not harp so much on our failures..

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   peachpurpleposted 8 years ago

   sometimes, I give up and look for another sources, but it better to have a planning

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      Happylovejoyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Agree that planning is important!

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   krisingreenposted 8 years ago

   I used to consider setbacks as failures but when it comes down to it setbacks are simply things that will hold you back once in a while but you're not a failure yet if you're still trying. So if you keep on reaching for your goal but haven't succeeded just yet then you might want to reconsider your ways. Most probably, there is something wrong with the equation as to why you're not arriving to the correct solution.
   Take time to reflect - And as much as possible try not to do the same repetitive actions you've been doing. Remember, Einstein said doing the same things over and over again but expecting different result is insanity. So you may want to do things a little differently.

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